BAD WEEK, HAPPY ENDING

THIS PASS WEEKEND, I HAD MY FAVORITES FOOD AND TODAY A TACO SALAD, I FELT SO BAD. THAT I HAD DONE SO BAD FOR LAST WEEK, I FELT LIKE ALL THE HARD WORK FOR NOTHIGN.

BUT THEN I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, ITS NOT GOING TO HURT ME ONCE A MONTH TO EAT WHAT I WANT..  I HAVE LOST 14 PDS. MY CLOTHES FEEL LOSE, AND SOME OF MY OLD CLOTHES ARE STARTING TO FIT NOW.

I GUESS I HAVE TO CONTROL MY FEELING AND NOT LET THIS BRING ME DOWN. ALL THOSE FEELING ARE JUST IN YOUR HEAD AND THATS IT. U HAVE TO BLOCK ALL THE NEGATIVE AND TURN IT INTO SOMETHING GOOD AT THE END. I WILL KEEP ON GOING AND KEEP WORKING HARDER AND HARDER EACH WEEK..

THANKS TO MY LADIES THAT HAVE ALWASY BE THERE AND SUPPORT ME.. AND YOU KNOW IF YOU GUYS NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO I'M HERE.

LIL BY LIL

WELL, I GOT OVER SUN. NIGHT AND WENT TO THE GYM YESTERDAY AND MY WEIGHT IS AT 167, BUT I HAVE NOTICE THAT MY PANTS FEEL LOSE FROM MY WAIST , SO MEANING THAT I'M GAINING MUSCLE AND START TO LOSE INCHES.. THAT IS A GREAT START AND I'M SO HAPPY ABOUT MY IMPROVEMENT AND I HAVE LOST 11PDS IN TOTAL AND COUNTING...

SAD

HEY GUYS I FEEL SO BAD RIGHT NOW, I KNOW THAT I'M TRYING EVERYTHING ON MY SIDE, BY EATING RIGHT AND EXERCISING, BUT I STILL FEEL LIKE ITS NOT WORKING.. I KEEP GETTING THIS FEELING LIKE WHEN I USED TO BE BULIMIC, I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS.. I FEEL LIKE I'M ALL ALONE IN THIS WORLD AND JUST WANT TO COVER MY SELF UP...

I GUESS I WILL JUST KEEP FIGHTING THROUGH THIS MESS AND KEEP MY HEAD UP HIGH...

BULIMIA IS IN THE PAST

I USED TO BE BULIMIC FOR 2YRS. ON AND OFF. I ONLY THREW UP AT NIGHT, CAUSE I WOULD THINK THATS WHEN I WUOLD GAIN WEIGHT AND SAW MY SELF AS A PIG AND NOT SEXY. THERE WERE SO MANY REASONS WHY I WAS DOING THIS, BUT NEVER DID I STOP TO THINK WHAT I WAS DOING TO MY BODY AND MYSELF IN THE LONG RUN. I FEEL GOT TO THE LAST DROP AND I GOT HELP. DOC TOLD ME I HAVE TO CHOICES, I STOP OR END UP IN A HOSPITAL. I DIDN'T NOT CARE ANYTHING HE TOLD ME AND START TO THROW UP BLOOD AND NOW MY SUGER LEVEL IS MESSED UP FOR THE REST OF LIFE.. BUT ONE THING MADE ME STOP, MY BF TOLD ME THAT IF I THREW ONE MORE TIME, HE WOULD CALL MY MOM AND THAT MOMENT I THOUGHT, SHE CAN'T FINDING OUT THIS, SHE COULD END UP IN THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE OF ME AND I DIDN'T WANT THAT.

BUT GUESS HOW MUCH WIGHT I LOSE WELL I WAS DOING THIS, NONE, I GAINED INSTEAD... I WAS KILLING MYSELF LIL BY LIL...

NOW, I'M AT 167 AND WANT TO BE AT 155, BUT NOT TO BE SEXY OR HAVE A NICE BODY.. BUT TO BE HEALTHY, MY MOTHER HAS EVERYTHING U CAN THINK ABOUT HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, CHOLESTEROL,DIABETES, AND SUGER LEVELS GOING UP AND DOWN... I DON'T WANT TO GO WITH WHAT SHE IS GOING NOW AND I WANT TO LIVE A LONG TIME TOO.. 

I KNOW WE ALOT CAN DO THIS AND GET WHERE WE WANT TO BE, BUT THE RIGHT WAY... I'M HERE FOR ANYONE THAT NEEDS TO TALK AND I HOPE THAT I HAVE FRIENDS HERE TOO. THANKS.