TMI Nation

eh.

I got my period today. This causes me some intestinal distress but I can deal with it.

I didn't expect it for another 5ish days.

Monday Not So Bad

I looked down at the timer and saw I had less than 10 minutes left in my mandatory hour today.

I felt like I'd been on for 15 minutes, so I gave another 10 minutes after the hour was up.

Not a bad way to start the week, eh? : P I'll probably do an official weigh-in tomorrow. I'm just hoping to have maintained at 163ish.

Uhg and Ick

I can feel the affects of PMS already. A whole week of this is to be expected and it will just get worse- the swelling, the insomnia, the inability to stay asleep, the lethargy, the giant appetite, the sore breasts. Gross.

I have to stay on track.

Done

Well, alright. It's Friday, my Friday workout is out of the way. Breakfast is over, shower is done, I apparently haven't lost any weight this week.

But that's ok. I know weight fluctuates and loss comes in cycles and I did the right thing and worked out each (week)day this week. I really WANTED to lose 2 pounds this week, but I didn't fail because weight isn't something that is 100% in our control. I was hoping to have a good week loss before the upcoming 2 week struggle with PMS and menstruation, but I know that I can at least keep from GAINING weight in this part of my month if I continue eating well and jumping on that treadmill.

This week's workout logs:

M: 433c, 3.1mil, 66min
T: 405c, 3mil, 60min
W: 406c, 3mi, 60min
T: 415c, 3.?mil, 61min
F: 496c, 3.66mil, 76min

Today being the last 'forced' workout of the week I decided to do a long cool-down cycle (and The People's Court wasn't over yet, so if I'm going to be watching tv I may as well be MOVING!)

I feel good.

60% for the week

Well, I'm 60% through my week this week as far as days when I'll make myself watch what I eat and roll for an hour down that treadbelt.

100% success these first 3 days (well today isn't over yet but it's going well so far).

Because I haven't been eating nearly enough (1200 calories yesterday 400 calorie workout = a net of 800 calories... and i work on my feet : /) and have been exhausted as a result, I stopped after work last night and bought myself some SlimFast shakes and some Special K protein bars (the meal ones, THOSE i LOVE). Hopefully sipping and nibbling at those will help me make sure I get the vitamins, minerals and calories I need throughout the day.

However, I weighed myself again today and came in at 161.8. Not too excited because of course I have a hard time believing I can be successful in anything : /

No, THIS is how you lose weight!

Why is it that when you're trying to lose weight everyone fancies themselves an expert? And why is it so hard to understand that people are different? What works for one person is not going to work for all of us.

My grandmother called me once to tell me that I NEEDED to lose weight and that it would be easy if I would just 'Cut out the potato chips and ice cream.' I informed her that I'm ALLERGIC to ice cream and that I very rarely have potato chips. She told me then to 'take exercise'. Bleh.

When I take my little brother and sister out to eat I often get from -them-, 'Aren't you on a diet?' "What, are you not on your diet anymore?' *head>desk*. I NEVER call what I am doing a diet, dieting or anything else. And while they're just kids, it really broadens the statement of 'everyone' to include quite a few everyones.

Why do people not understand that trying to take care of myself doesn't mean I'm not allowed to eat? And when I DO indulge they always have to comment in some way. Why can't they just ignore it like they would otherwise? Everytime I eat something sweet I don't need to hear, 'HEY! You're going to be fatty-mc-fatpants again if you eat that!' That's not healthy for me. My goal in life isn't to count every calorie burned v. every calorie taken in. It's to have a level of activity that allows me to eat healthfully and have indulgences.

And people think statements like that are encouraging. What would be encouraging would be if friends would invite you out to do something NOT food-oriented for socializing. I really want to go to the zoo and take my new camera for a spin, but I haven't once been invited for that. I've even brought it up but all I ever get invited to are food-gatherings of one sort or another.

Bleh.

On the other hand, when someone mentions wanting to lose weight I do tell them that I did it and do it by walking. The reason I mention this, though, is because it seems everyone else in the world is so discouraging about walking. I hear from people, 'You have to move faster than that if you want to lose weight!' Well, they're wrong- at least about me. The first time I did this I lost 23 pounds just through walking and eating healthy. It seems to me people start out on this journey and they hit the gym hard and fast and exhaust themselves in the first week by trying to lose all the weight at once. I take a different approach and find a level of activity that produces results without making me absolutely miserable.

I remember when I was a girl and my step dad decided he was going to lose weight. He drove his car and marked 5 miles and said, "I'm going to run 5 miles a day!" He came back the first day exhausted (I don't think he made the 5 mile goal) and I think made an attempt the second day, and then he quit. He did this a few times. He took diet pills that have caused him long-term heart problems.

I really think he needed to start smaller (and remember thinking it at the time), and so when I began this process I started small. My first day working out almost 2 years ago I walked only 20 minutes and burned just 80 calories. I was disappointed in myself but I eventually  began burning 280 calories in 35 minute sessions, and at the peak of my fitness level I ran my first (and last *heh*) 10 minute mile.

I guess I wish people would understand that my goal isn't to BE anyone else, my goal is to be a thinner, fitter me and learn to maintain it. The more sincere attempts at helping are appreciated (when my boss yesterday told me about the shakes she's used to considerable success), but the thoughtlessness with which most of them are delivered makes me ungrateful.

Floating

I love the way I feel when I get off of my treadmill.

I also love saying 'My treadmill'.

Yesterday was good and strong. I got in over an hour on my treadmill after having my breakfast, I had a VERY late but very lean lunch (healty choice soup (it was quite good), pears and a 100 calorie pack).

Then I had low fat rigatoni for dinner.

Today I did an hour on the treadmill (over 400 calories expelled! woo hoo!) after a tiny breakfast I'm ashamed of- I couldn't eat any more lentil soup (I've had it like 8 days straight) so I only took two or three bites of that, ate my fresh spinach (I like spinach a little much maybe?) and had two drinks of tea and a bottle of water.

I'm going to have 'Campbell's Chunky Fully Loaded Turkey Pot Pie' soup for lunch, I think. 200 calories and 8 grams of fat per serving is a bit of a stretch for me, but I'll let myself indulge.

I'm actually realllly looking forward to monday's weigh-in.

Yay! Down five pounds!

I'm very cautious to ever be excited, but today when I weiged myself in my normal fashion (naked, after breakfast snack, after workout, after shower) I was 163.2!

That would make 5 pounds in one week, one hard long week, but still one week : P So, I'm making my goal for this next week; 2 pounds. I think I can manage 2 pounds in a week. I'll eat lean and exercise. That will put me halfway between goal 1 and goal 2, but goal 2 may take a while after the halfway mark (if I even make the halfway mark this week) because I have PMS coming next weekend (I have a long and bothersome PMS, I'll gain up to 8 pounds before my period! fortunately I lose it again by day 3 of my period, but that seems so bad for your body).

I'm excited...

but cautious!

a few pounds down?

So I stepped on the scale today and it said 164.something (I think .2).

That would be over 4 pounds down from 168.8.

My short-term goals are 163, 159, 157 and 153. There are reasons for all of these and they give me nice little times to congratulate myself. Here's the breakdown:

163- five pounds down, REAL pounds. 'Eat right and exercise' pounds.

159- I'm out of the 160s! I'm 11 pounds away from the thin girl I was so proud of so shortly ago!

157- this is the point where my belly starts to flatten out

153- fifteen pounds! YEE HA! five pounds to go!

Those are just four short stops away. I can soooo make it to 153!

Jealous

Is it wrong (yes it is but whatever) that I felt a twinge of jealousy when my sister told me today in the same amount of time I've been trying this time she's lost 4 pounds? I know she doesn't even do 1/3 of the workout I do each day and I am doing so well with my eating (working out makes me actually want to eat less and soooo controls cravings), and I AM, VERY proud of her... gah.

I should be shot x_x