Big Shot

So, I've been assigned to work opening a new store in the much-praised Galleria here in Houston. I worked today 9-6 and the same tomorrow. I don't really want to go in tomorrow :x

I'm tired but cant' fall asleep.I'm afraid of what I'll weigh when I finally get around to scaling-in again. I am pretty sure I won't be losing 2 pounds this week with my schedule, but I did get on the treadmill monday twice for a total of 850 calories burned. I hope I can manage the same on thursday, and maybe some additional makeup on saturday.

I need to get up in 5 and a half hours : ( *sigh* I'm so tired but so insomniaed!

Ewww, rat at work : (

Last night I closed, but I'm a good closer so I was out of there at 9 on the dot(when the doors lock). Today I'm going in to open at 10. I haven't opened in about six months! My health has improved, though, so when our HOS asked, 'Well, you can't be here before 12, can you?' I snapped up the opportunity to not be there all night.

However, last night there was a rat in the stock room. It ran into the office and I ran out onto the sales floor. I don't know what I'm going to do today : / I'm scared!

Coming home exhausted and knowing I was opening today I apparently was yelling at my man on the phone : / I felt bad and so said I'd call him back in a little while, but I fell asleep instead and didn't wake up until 7. Sigh! I miss him. Fortunately I have Sunday and Monday off so maybe we can have a little more pleasant conversation time.

I have to go find breakfast & lunch. Ya'll be good : )

Valentine

I started Valentine's day off by weighing-in. 161.0. More than 7 pounds gone since I started this regimen. My Valentine to my boyfriend was my treadmill- I want to be thin and sexy for him.

Today, a beautiful Dooney and Bourke purse for me. A mini bag for makeup/credit cards etc (matches the bag exactly), my favorite chocolate covered cherries and a Chinese calligraphy set were inside the purse. The calligraphy set is beautiful. Honestly it's all beautiful (even the cherries, gosh I love them and had asked for them as all I wanted but was told, 'No, sorry. The only place to get them is 40 minutes away.' I so bought it!) I'm afraid to use the purse or the calligraphy set. I almost reluctantly indulged in one chocolate. I LOVE THEM! *dies* I hate to eat them because according to the website (which I looked up to show them to ya'll) they're almost $1 each. Each one I eat, as wonderful as it is, is gone when it's gone. GRR! I hate to lose my cherries ; (

When I came home from work at 10 pm., tired and sad, there was a bouquet of flowers on the table.

I have a really nice boyfriend. I almost desperately want to be thin for him.

Here goes nothin'

I tried to blog several times this morning, but it was to no avail.

I'm tired. I ran yesterday and today, yesterday for 17 minutes and today for 20. I rounded out the hour with walking.

Today I got on the scale and it said 161.8.

No hopes getting up. I'm just trying to be strong through this week.

Still no luck *sigh*

163.4

Still no loss to mention. I'm highly disappointed, usually I lose several pounds after my period.

Time to look forward, though. Once again- hopefully I can lose two pounds this week.

And get my spending under coltrol :x

Ankle, I said damn you! DAMN YOU!

(does the title sound a little too Stewie Griffin? I love Family Guy :x)

30 minutes today and I HAD to get down again. I know I'll do another 30 but I'm still pissed. My ankle starts feeling huge after about 20 minutes and just keeps feeling bigger until I stop and take off the shoe, sock and brace. I'll be so glad when it's healed and I can work out normally again : /

Today is slow, slow, slow!

Ugh I'm so tired. I slept 11 hours, getting up at 10. I have to go into work at 5pm and work until 2am because I'm one of the especials that was chosen for inventory.

I'm stressed. I was thinking about stress and stress-related weight-gain and the way supposedly being stressed causes you to hold onto excess fat (forgive typos, please, a bunch of the keys on this keyboard do not work well). People are being prescribed medicines for these things, but would exercise work just as well? Better? For me, exercise is a sure way to undo the knots in my stomach. If I'm relieving stress and burning calories aren't I 2x as likely to lose weight?

I don't know. I'm sleepy. And I miss my boyfriend.

I need is hugs.

Power over Pringles

Since I've gotten back to (mostly) eating right and exercising my cravings have soooo diminished. I'm quite happy and excited about and proud of this. Last week, for example, I woke up one morning and came to the kitchen to find a can of pringles on the stove. I stopped, SHOCKED, and picked it up- it was about 1/3 full. This never happens in our household. I set it down, stood dumbly for a moment looking at it, then walked to whatever I was getting, had my breakfast and my workout and forgot about it. Later when I was getting ready for work I went to the kitchen again and saw them, pausing, and then deciding no.

Why no? I didn't feel the IMPULSE to eat them. I was shocked by them and habit is to eat them but I just didn't feel much desire for them at all.

For the last five days or so I've been eating a 100 calorie pack of cookies or sweets each morning first thing. I just can't help myself! Today I woke up and didn't even remember I had them for hours. I realized that I was beating myself up over those 100 calorie packs but I was having PMS urges to eat outside of what I really 'want' to do.

So I'm feeling pretty good now. Or, at least, less guilty.

Damn you, Ankle!

I broke my workout yesterday into two parts for a few reasons.

1.) Getting your period sucks. I was in soooo much pain even through 2 extra-strength pain relievers that you are sooooo only supposed to take 1 at a time of :x but I took one and an hour later was still in pain so I took a second. I refrained from taking the 3rd for another 2 hours or so after that.

2.) My leg was bothering me. The ankle pain has moved to my knee and twinges in my hip some. The ankle brace has been helping, though, and today my knee and hip feel fine so far.

Today I also broke my workout into two parts. At 20 minutes my ankle started feeling funny, then it kept getting worse so at 35 minutes I jumped off. I sat down, pulled off my shoe, sock and saw that my heel looked funny so I took the brace off. I sat with it elevated for a little while then got back on and finished my hour.

Part of me really thinks I am not going to see any weight loss next week either. That's scary. I know that if I don't, I just have to suck it up and deal and find the solution. I'm not overly concerned with it, but long-term I'm worried about my (and anyone's) ability to remain motivated without seeing tangible results.

I'm so over the missing

I really miss my man. It's getting old, this long-distance love thing. That's NOT to say that i don't love him OR that I am looking for someone else or want to find someone else or wish there was someone nearer for me, it is just that I DO love him so and I think that it is time that he was nearer.

Days have begun to drag on without him. I never know when I'll see him and the days go by so slow.

Last night he didn't get around to calling me until 1:30 in the morning. I was completely asleep, answered the phone, and five minutes later woke up to find myself on it. I asked, 'When did you call?!' (I'm told) and then said, "I have to sleep. I have to sleep!' and we got off the phone (I don't really remember, I just remember him telling me we'd been on the phone six minutes and I had no recollection). I don't want it to be this way. I want for him to be able to wake me at 1:30 if he needs to and me wrap my arms around him and go back to sleep if I need to (heh).

At first I somewhat preferred the long-distance thing. I'd come out of two consecutive relationships with men who just didn't know what 'personal space' meant and I needed it. Even so I felt annoyed that I'd had to deal with two guys whose spaces I didn't want much occcasion with and then I found one whose I did and ... .

Mine is a beautiful man and I miss him. I miss his arms and hands more than anything. His arms are such a dream, such a luxury. They are such a place of peace for me.

God, I miss my man.