I lost it. I was doing great until 1 month ago. My knee was starting to hurt a lot, not only during runs, but even while I was sitting on the couch doing nothing. From the minute I woke up, until I went to bed. I refused to stop, since I worked soooo hard training for my race. It was a month away I couldn't give up... so the last time I ran I was feeling good. I loaded up on alieve and smelled like a gaint tube of toothpate from all the bengay I put on my legs to numb them. At mile 7 my running partner stopped and said he just couldn't do it any longer. So I said that was fine-- (I quit early the run before)...but we always stick together, and the car was still 3 miles away so we started walking back to the car. My legs progressively started hurting worse and by the time I got back to the car I could hardly walk. And that was the last time I worked out.
Isn't it funny though, that when you gain weight and stop working out... and see the numbers on the scale getting higher and higher it makes you want to just not work out at all, and say to hell with it and order a large pizza and eat it by yourself because it's "pointless." That doesn't make any sense, but it is true. I have no motivation to go to the gym. I did go and re-new my YMCA membership, but that was 2 weeks ago and have not been back to actually work out. The longer I wait the harder it is. Plus I crave fast food for every meal.
Next week we are going on a road trip-- hello pringles and twizzlers! and staying at my grammas... Hello ham and cheesy potatoes. I'm not worried about it- but looking forward to it. I have to get out of this rutt. before I know it I will have packed on the pounds, and obviously have no one to blame but myself.
I am signing up for a half marathon on July 26th. It runs through Spearfish Canyon, one of my favorite places in the entire universe and all of the proceeds go to CASA. SO... I found a training calendar online and I started yesterday. I am excited about having a goal. Especially a goal that I think is achivable... instead of miraculasly lose 13 pounds in 2 weeks... My goal is to finish this marathon- no matter what I weigh. Now I have to go run 4 miles. It is 9 weeks from today!
p.s. my vacation was fun even though I wasn't exactly 150 pounds... the 8 extra pounds didn't hold me back from having a great time.
Yesterday I ran 10 miles just to see if I could do it...I could. I didn't get down to my goal weight before Ieft for vacation but I am still really proud of myself. I am going to keep it up when I get back too, Paul and I are thinking about doing a triathalon!
I am down to a new low since Adam was born so that is a really good thing... oh except once when the batteries on my scale were going low I had lost about 18 pounds in 1 day... ahhh that was nice to see that number flash up there just that once, even though I knew is was bull s***.
It is pouring outside right now. It is also 5 something in the morning and by every standard I should be crabby and wanting to go back to bed but I feel good. I don't want to jinx anything of course- but I really think it's gonna be a good day.
The day before yesterday I ran 6 miles (without stopping) in the park and it took me an hour. I think that's pretty good- it is definately the longest I have ever ran. I was proud of myself and not even a little bit winded when I got home. Then yesterday I walked 3 miles as fast as I could and I was practically out of breath when I got home- this took me about 50 minutes. I must need to change my workouts a little more.
Finally I think my love handles are starting to get smaller- they are something my sister and I have been blessed with- we can be thin everywhere but we will always - ALWAYS have the dreaded muffin top in the back (unless we wear jeans we can hike up slightly below the bra line.) and a nice little roll in the front. The only thing we can do since we know it is there to stay, is to try to make it go incognito by decreasing it's size as much as possible.
So my point of this whole thing is that I am starting to see results slowly- I guess that is the best way. That means the reverse effects will happen slowly too and hopefully I will be able to prevent them instead of all of the sudden being back to square one after a bad weekend.
And maybe I need to have a new fitness goal instead of weight goal. I am a very competitive person, even if I am competing only with myself. My last goal was to run 5 miles without stopping and more importnatly without dying, wich I thought was a good possiblity. And I did that, don't get me wrong I am really proud of myself but I also know I can do better, so need a new challenge. Hmmmmm.... I'll have to think about it.
I have been working out like a mad woman. I don't even remember the last day I didn't work out. I know I need to take a break too- I am even sick. But I am still really frustrated for not being able to lose these last 10 pounds without going on some sort of crazy diet- wich will be my next plan if I stay stuck. I just can't afford any "diet groceries" right now so I have been eating crap like top ramen and mac and cheese. It seems like I should still be losing though sice I am working out for at least and hour every day and running at least 2 miles. It's 10 pounds... I have managed to lose 70 pounds in 4 months but I can't lose a measly 10 pounds. grrrr. My clothes don't even fit any better. Vacation is in 8 days, that was supposed to be my goal date and now I know it's pretty much impossible. I shouldn't beat myself up since I know I have been working hard but it is difficult not to get a little upset of not being able to control my own body. The 1 thing only I have total control of- I have no control of... does that make sense??
I have to look into the whole gaining muscle thing. I took my measurements a few days ago- something I haven't done in a really long time. I think it's too early to re-check them. I just find it hard to belive that the way I am working my butt off by running I havn't lost- running is so hard! I sweat like crazy and I know my heart rate is sky high because I can barely breathe while doing it. It has always been the one excercise that I can do and lose weight super fast- This time that is not the case. I'm getting frustrated.
I am so proud of myself today. This morning I had the slight desire to work out so I decided to go for a run outside. I am still excited about all of the songs I have on my mp3 player. Normally I suck at running outside the last time I ran was like a week ago and I did 2 miles and when I got home I had to stay on the front porch for a 1/2 hour because I thought I was going to vomit. So I try to stick to the treadmil since I have a big plastic belt forcing me to keep moving forward. Anyhoo- I thought I'd give it another try since our race is outside so I knew I'd have to get used to it eventually. So I got on my lame jazzersize out fit- (more to follow with this later....) and went with the intention of going 2 miles again only this time feeling slightly less nautious afterwards. And as I was running the wind stopped and the clouds kind of went away and I was really enjoying myself and I ended up running 5 and 1/2 miles!!!! It is 1 1/2 miles round trip to the park by our house and there is an exact 1 mile loop through the park and I ran it 4 times! AND here is the kicker... I felt great afterwards no gross feelings at all just a little wobbly legs. It was so exilerating.
NOW.... I looked like a total dork doing it though. I need to get some new workout clothes. I am wearing my mom's hand me down stuff right now...I was wearing black spandex shorts with a white sripe down the side and a white tight long sleeved shirt witha black tshirt on top and a black headband to cover my ears-- I have horrible ears the slightest wind and I get an instant ear ache. Anyway lets just say when Cydi Lauper came on my radio it was fitting.
My daughter is so sweet. This morning she came up to me and hugged me and looked at me with those big beautiful blue eyes and said "Happy Birthday Mommy, I wuv you." So we had cake for breakfast. Now keep in mind my birthday is in August.
UGHHHH no wonder I can't seem to shake these last 10 pounds. I'm not lying, yesterday I spent about three hours online looking into the "lemon detox" where you live for ten days on nothing but water, lemon juice, maple syrup, and cyanne pepper. Beyonce did it- so why can't I? BECAUSE THAT IS F'ING INSANE. oh yeah, and I'm not Beyonce.
So I have come to the reaization that I actually have to keep working out- not get discouraged and finally start eating better and drinking more water... certainly not a glamerous fad diet that excites me but a sensible plan that I know will work. But I'm not excited about it. I actually dread it. the thought of eating healthy right now makes me want to go eat cheese, copious amounts of cheese. why is this??
I started dancing in a park full of people... I couldn't help it.
I did it. I downloaded 66 songs yesterday and I am not ashamed to admit my taste in music may be less than cool. Of course I had to try my new songs out and it was a BEAUTIFUL day... (3 days ago we were playing in the snow and yesterday it was 80) so I went running through the park near our house. There were tons of people out enjoying the weather, walking thier dogs, softball teams practicing. and when the song Wild Wild West (the 80's version) came on, I had to dance.... it was like my body was being taken over by some sort of retro-active demon. I didn't care who was watching.
My favorites (the ones that really got me going)...Avril Livingne- Girlfriend, George Michael- freedom, Maroon 5- Harder to Breathe, Lil' Jon-Get Low, and of course Escape Club- Wild Wild West
