I was gearing up on the major wedding diet when I found out that we were expecting our first baby.  I was thrilled, scared, and quite frankly at first - devastated.  All my months of planning, which included a considerable amount of daydreaming about me looking radiant - and paper thin - in wedding pictures that I could gaze at in 50 years about how great we looked.  I cried and cried and cried.  I know that it seems silly but I'm only going to be married once, so it really was a crushing blow to me.  Of course, we were thrilled to be expecting and had been wondering how in the world we would pay for in vitro as I have had several surgeries and did not believe pregnancy would be easy, so the initial shock and sadness disappeared very quickly, but I remember that my husband and I both talked about doing our fantasy honeymoon at a Club Med type place on some exotic island later, like our 10th anniversary. 

 

I'm stunned but....this is it.  JULY 21, 2011 will be our 10th anniversary.  So, welcome to my nightmare!  I began attempting the slimdown during the holidays by mentally refocusing myself away from food - food as entertainment, food as a reward, food as a destination, food as an event - and am determined to make the lifestyle changes necessary to do this correctly.  I've done it before but as I have a stressful and mostly sedentary job, and 2 beautiful but active boys to chase, a husband to care for, yada yada... most of my "spare" time is spent sleeping. 

 

So, I have determined to quit all of the following:

 

1)  large meals - I'm grazing.  I feel better when I graze, and I eat alot less.  I also don't pine for food or feel deprived.

2)  dinner parties.  Its going to be bring your own for the most part, or will be a one dish affair like chili - with healthy snacks to graze on - anything else, its byo-junk.

3)  buying crap in large quantities.  All of us could be healthier.  And I'm the one who eats the least of the crap food.  The kids need to learn better habits.  They like and will eat healthier food if it is here, but it will lose the competition if junk food or candy is nearby.

4)  buying food as a reward for anyone.  If you want something, go buy it.  Otherwise, the rewards need to be centered around activities, preferably active ones.  And for me, I hope that as I lose weight, I can reward myself with new clothes!  I don't care what I wear when I'm heavy.

5)  planning destinations around food.  Like dinner out, even tho I suspect we will need some "us" time, I will try for most of this year, anyway, to make activity dates - or we'll go gambling!  Not much exercise but its fun!  But so is lazertag, a walk on the beach, a bike ride by the bay, or playing darts or pool at a bar.

6)  Obsessing about something I want.  From Friday night to Sunday, I'm just not worried about what I eat or drink.  If I want something, I'll wait until then, but do it in small doses.

7)  Baileys.  I hate this the most, because I love it.  Maybe I'll have to switch to heroin to kick the baileys and coffee, but I've got to give it up - 103 calories and almost 5 g of fat in 1 oz!  Jameson's only has 67 calories an ounce and no fat...hmm. 

8)  Being too tired to work out, or having something more important to do.  I'm making the time, whether its at midnight or 5 am.

 

Next post:  What's the plan?