Hello

I know it's been a week since I've updated, and I apologize, but it's been a really good week and I'm looking forward to another weigh in today.  Last week I was down 4 lbs.  This week I'm hopeful fo rsomething, but I'm not quite sure what since I did start my period today.  My eating has been pretty good and my workouts have been even better.  Tomorrow, Saturday, and Monday I have personal training sessions scheduled.  I must admit that I am rather nervous...last one was a killer and it was only 30 minutes long.  I know it's good for me, but it's still really hard. 

I'm off, I'll report back tomorrow.

Weigh in Day

Well...today is a big day, my first weigh in!  I'm looking forward to it, as I think I *deserve* a good number.  I know nothing is guaranteed, but I am crossing my fingers tightly.  I still have 13 WPA left over to use tonight if I want, which is very unusual for me.  I usually blow thru them in a week.  I don't think we're going out to eat or anything so I'm sure I won't use them. 

I had my first personal training session yesterday.  OUCH!  That is really all I have to say.  It was tough.  Very tough.  I like to think of myself as a pretty in shape person, but man she really kicked my butt.  The kicker is it was really only a 30 minute workout because she was running late...I can't even imagine a full hour.  It felt really good to work out like that though.  Even though every minute of it sucked, I am looking foward to our next session next week.  

Cross your fingers for me!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Another week...BLAH!

I am so not in the right mindset to be at work right now.  Not at all.  I have so much on my mind...weight loss, exercise, the wedding plans, the wedding shower.  I did get alot done this weekend...all the centerpiece stuff, paper lanterns, maid of honor dress, G's tie, my brooch for the bustle, all the fake orchids.  I'm feeling a little bit better about everything than I was last week.  I still have a crap load to do...the invitations being the biggest burden.  I need to get moving on those ASAP!!

Other than that, I am doing pretty good.  I had a really good, peaceful, weekend.  I ate very well and I had 2 kick ass workouts!  I also got up at 5 am this morning to hit the gym before work.  Unfortunately, today's workout wasn't so great...probably because I was exhausted and sore, but I guess something is better than nothing.  I want to go to a lower body toning class tonight too.  I hope Wednesday shows me at a good number.  I have managed to stay off the scale most of the week, which is very hard as I have become a daily weigher, which is so bad....so I have no idea what Wednesday will bring.

I'm also thinking about personal training.  G and I have decided on a budget to get us thru the next few months before the wedding and I have X amount of dollars per month to spend on anything I want...so I think I want to use it on personal training.  Just once a week, but it will be pretty intense and teach me some new things about exercise.  Lisa has agreed to train me and I love working out with her...she always does something different and keeps it interesting.  I am going to call her to discuss at noon today.  Hopefully my first appointment will be tomorrow at 6:00.  YIKES!!!

Day 3

Day 2 finished up pretty strong and Day 3 is off to a good start.  I kicked some major booty in the exercise department yesterday...45 minutes on the stair stepper with 3 lbs weights strapped to each ankle and then 60 minutes of very intense total body toning.  I even upped my weights a pound to add intensity...I'm pretty sure I'll feel very sore tomorrow.  I'm still not sure yet if I'll go to the gym again today...maybe...we'll see how I feel.  I'm pretty tired...a nice naps sounds good!

2008 GOALS

So I decided to come up with a list of goals for 2008.  I like goals because they give me something to strive for, something to work toward, something to look forward to.  These goals will only be for the first half of the year, because I have a very big event that I am working towards...my wedding in Mexico!!  I am also going to come up with some rewards for myself for hitting small milestones:

Goals for the 1st half of 2008:

1.  Get into the 150's for my wedding in May.  This may seem unrealistic to some, but this is a MUST for me.  I need to prove to myself that I can get there.

2.  Ramp up my exercise and stick to 5 days per week. 

3.  Continue with 2-3 days of weight training per week, and if it's affordable, sign up for personal training.

4.  Have a very relaxing and stress free wedding in Mexico!!

Rewards:

1.  Get into the 170's:  buy myself a new book

2.  Get into the 160's:  buy my wedding shoes

4.  Get into the 150's:  buy new bathing suits

Day 2

So yesterday was a good day.  I didn't follow my plan to a T, but I was close and I'm happy with that.  I didn't get in any exercise and I had a few unplanned snacks after dinner, but I think I was legitimately hungry...it's hard to tell anymore since I haven't felt real hunger in quite a while now.  I tell you what...I sure woke up hungry, so I know that I didn't over-do it last night, which is a good feeling.

Today is day #2 and I have a pretty good plan.  Depending on what time I leave work, I want to get to the gym for some cardio, then head over to my total body toning class.  The instructor is putting together a quote for my fiance and me for 4 months of personal training to shape up for our wedding in Mexico in May...which, by the way, I can't believe is only 4 months away.  I'm sort of starting to freak out.  I can't believe it's that close!  YIKES!!

Back to work

Well today is my first day back to work after a nice 11 day-off streak over the holidays.  Although it is nice to be back to a normal routine, I am completely distracted and all I can think about is how pissed off I am at myself for being in the 180's again.  I barely slept a wink last night...I just kept thinking about how good I felt at 165 and how I could have possibly let that go.  I kept feeling my belly...feeling how big and bloated it felt...totally disgusting.  I feel so embarrassed an ashamed, but most importantly I feel so teriffied that I am capable of gaining so much weight so fast.  That scares the crap out of me.  It's gross. 

I am glad the holidays are over.  I am so sick of eating and drinking...and feeling like crap every morning from either a hangover or just pure tiredness (laziness) or from over-eating.  I am sick of over-eating.  Sick sick sick of it! 

Today has been good so far.  I waited to eat breakfast until I was hungry.  That's something I haven't done in a while.  I've already drank 40 oz. of water...also something that has not been part of my diet, mostly just diet coke and beer lately.  I planned out my meals last night, and so far I have stuck to it perfectly.  It is only 1:05 though, but I feel pretty good about the rest of the day. 

I will say that I am absolutely dreading going to a WW meeting tonight.  I do not want to weigh in at all, but I know I need to.  I need to set a starting point for myself and look forward to something again.  I am also interested in any new program introductions, anything that can spark my interest and make this seem new again will be good for me.  I think that is part of the reason I feel off the wagon again...I was just bored and running out of steam.  That's no excuse though...I know plenty of people who have been doing WW for years and have not fallen off the wagon completely.  Yeah sure, everyone has a slip up here and there.  But slip-ups here and there do not turn into 20 lb. weight gains.  Ugh.  I wish I could take back the last 6 months.  But I can't..all I can do is focus on the future and bust my butt to get back to my happy place.  This time I will not be satisfied with 165.  I want to get to my goal finally and stay there!  And I will!!

Wow...it's 2008!

I can't believe it's 2008...but what is most shocking is the fact that I managed to gain about 20 pounds in a matter of 4 months.  I am completely and utterly disgusted with myself.  I made a promise to myself that I would never do that again, and I broke that promise in a really bad way. The last few months have been totally out of control and I have hated every minute of it.  I knew I was headed to a bad place, and I'm frustrated that I waited until January 1 to fully realize it. 

I am ready to finish this.  I have gained and lost weight so many freaking times...but I have never ever reached my goal weight.  I've come close...this last time about 12 lbs. away, but I can never manage to get all the way there.  I really want to get there this year....or at least get as close as I can in a year's time.  I am going to do it....watch me!!

Starting December off on the right foot!

It's already December 6, and I have 5 days of awesomeness under my belt.  My losses have been so slow lately, but I'll take anything that I can get at this point.  It took me the entire month of November to lose 1 pound....the same pound that I lost in October but somehow gained back.  It's quite frustrating, but I'm not letting it get the best of me.  I'm really focusing on journalling and exericse right now, and also paying close attention to my hunger levels.  I'm hoping for a loss tomorrow.  I know it won't be big...but anything will make me happy. 

Sigh

Well today is yet another weigh in day, and I'm pretty convinced that I'll either maintain or be up a bit.  I'm only convinced of this because I peeked at the scale this morning.  *sigh*  Am I convinced of this because of my behavior this week?  Heck no.  I have been in a real groove lately...eating has been great, binging has pretty much disappeared, and I've been exercising like a crazy person.  So why won't the freakin scale move?  WHY?  I feel like I'm being tortured!  Yes, I know that is a bit dramatic, but come on!  Give me a freaking break!  I deserve to see a loss!  I really do, I have been working so hard!!!

Now...with that being said...I have come to the conclusion that I need to find a new way to gauge my progress.  I have known this for a while, but never really thought I'd hit that infamous plateau that you always hear people talk about.  Well...I think I hit it.  So today I ran out for lunch and bought a tape measure.  Tomorrow morning I am going to take my measurements and keep track of them every few months.  At least that way I can see if in reality I have done more than lose 0.6 lbs over the course of 3 months. 

I really wish I would have kept track of my inches from the beginning, but I didn't!!!  Oh well, it's not too late to start now, right?!!!!