10/17/2007 11:54
There is now officially 10% less of me!!!
YAY ME!! I watch the Disney Channel... A LOT. And well, whenever London Tipton of the Suite Life of Zack and Cody does something good, she yells "Yay me" and claps her hands. I've been doing that for the past 18 hours. I finally reached my 10% target! And am now down 23 pounds!! Again, yay me!! I'm so excited. And this past week I worked so hard to get those 4 pounds I gained over vacation the week before and then another 1.4 off. I just can't believe I actually have lost 23 pounds. I know I have been doing it for a while, but still. It's just a relief to know that I can do it and I can accomplish my goals. I got my key chain last night too! And of course everyone was super excited. now... Just 77 more pounds to go!!! But, only 2 pounds until I reach my 25 pound mark! YAY ME!
Well, just thought I would keep you all updated on my WI. And happy eating and "activity" to you all today!
XOXO
10/16/2007 12:49
New Haircolor!!!
Oh, yeah. I meant to add a photo of my new hair color... Maybe I should make it my new profile picture!?!?
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10/16/2007 12:40
Yippee Kiii Yiii Yayyy
It's funny. I was nearly having a nervous breakdown yesterday and I blogged this horrible post. I was expecting to have to come back and delete it, but apparently it ended up not posting for whatever reason. Thank goodness!
I think I am over my anxiety for now and hopefully I can get through the rest of the week. I have so much homework to catch up on. I have been completely unmotivated this semester. Part of me isn't even interested in getting good grades... just hoping to get through the semester. MOTIVATION PLEASE COME TO ME!!
Oh, but speaking of motivation... I have worked out for like three days in a row, which is UNHEARD OF. So, yay me!!!
I weigh in today!!! I love weigh in days, whether they are good or bad. Like, I seriously get excited at the thought of getting on that scale, evaluating my week, and hanging out with all of my WW friends as we wait for the meeting to start. I love everyone at WW because no matter our age, our background, our ethnicity, we all have one thing in common--our weight problems. And through that, we are able to connect on such a level... I know that whenever I need support, not just with my food issues, but with anything, I can turn to them.
Wow. I'm such a flippin' crazy person. Yesterday, I was like, "Oh, my life is on the brink of ending with no hope in sight..." and today I'm just so happy. Well, better happy than not.
Here's to hoping weigh in goes well!!!
And I hope all of you have a FABULOUS day!!!
10/15/2007 12:19
What's wrong?
I can't eat. There's something wrong. I don't know what it is. I just feel like crying, but I can't. I sit there and try to force myself to cry, and I can't. I know something bad is going to happen. I just don't know what and I don't know when, but I know it's going to be life changing. I started feeling this way yesterday morning and did just about everything to get the feeling to go away. And then I thought I would just go to sleep early to forget about it. Well, it's still here. It's not something you can forget. I just don't know what to do. It's making me lose focus on everything.
I've felt like this twice before: 1) when my mom died, and 2) when my ex broke up with me after a long and serious relationship (we were talking about getting engaged).
I'm scared. And miserable.
And ready for it to just happen.
Just had to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading.
10/10/2007 10:20
Back to the daily grind...
Gosh. Vacation was gorgeous. Five days on the warm sunny beaches of the Gulf Coast digging my feet into the pure white sand and gazing across the endless deep blue of the ocean. When I'm on vacation, I feel empowered and limitless. A little wild streak comes out in me that's even wilder than when I party here at home (which is already wild by many people's perceptions). I just feel so free.
Well, I came back early from my vacation to weigh in last night. GASP. I know; what moron comes home early to weigh in. Most people run from the scale when they come home from vacation. No, not I. I was still feeling the empowered stage. Well, that was until I stepped on the scale. I seriously almost didn't stay for the meeting. I knew I was going to gain weight, that was not a shock. In fact, it wasn't really much of a shock that I gained 4 pounds (LOL). It was more of the fact, that I enjoyed it so much. That's what is scary. The leader asked if I would do it again, and my prompt response was, "I do it again and gain another four if I had to." And that's the truth. So, I guess it's a good thing I didn't stay longer. But, it'll come off. I'm not worried. It's okay to have a good time every now and then. Now, if I can just get to 200 by Thanksgiving, I will be so excited!
I'm a little stressed out now. I am supposed to have done all this work over vacation, and I haven't done a single thing. I'm dropping this one class, but that brings my dropped hours to 29. No, I'm not a moron (but I am afraid that is what it is going to look like to grad schools). I just like to try out classes, see how much I can handle, and whether or not I like the class. I mean, I work two jobs on top of taking 18 (now 15) hours of classes. Isn't that enough?
And, I really feel like you should be able to put on your resume: X number of years changing my lifestyle, so that when you do interview me, you don't have a bias because of my weight, and so that when you do hire me, I don't conk out on your floor because of my massive heart problems due to my food issues.
Changing your lifestyle takes work and effort and time. And doing it on top of everything else just wears me out. Which brings me to my next point: ACTIVITY! Yes, we shall call it "activity" because "exercise" scares the be-jesus out of me. I'm going to have to start committing to an exercise routine, and I'm going to start today.
It's one of my best friends 21szt birthday's tomorrow... I'm going to dinner with her and her family and then we are going to be out at the bars all night with all of our friends. Talk about another obstacle to get over... Well, I can do it. I mean, what else are obstacles for, but to get over them?
Okay. Back to work. For serious.
10/03/2007 12:30
Back from my brief hiatus...
So, I haven't posted in a LONG time. School has been ridiculously hectic and working two jobs on top of that is killing me.
So, a few updates on me physically: I have lost and gained over the past month and a half; mainly because I just wasn't sticking to WW. It's so frustrating to watch people just eat and eat and not have to care. And then I start thinking, well, if they don't care, than maybe I shouldn't either. It's not like they are even thin/healthy people. But, I have to care. It's the only way to a healthier and happier (and hotter) me. So, I have sucked it up for the past three weeks and have continually lost weight... 7.8 pounds in the last three weeks to be exact. I am down to 209.2 and so incredibly proud of myself. My waist is smaller and I have dropped a size from when I first started. I have also colored my hair a reddish brown and switched makeup colors for the fall... I'm on my way! (I'll try to post an updated picture today)
In terms of life, so much going on. I had a huge falling out with two of my friends and basically just cut them off. I can't deal with the stress of people and their problems with my own issues. They would just say such hateful things; like when I would lose weight, they would be like, "Oh, you'll gain it back next week. It's just water weight. Don't get excited." Talk about super supportive (note the sarcasm).
School-wise, I have three exams tomorrow. Two of them are going to be take-home and the other one is going to kill me. And don't think take-home means that it is super easy. I'd much rather have an in-class exam. And I also have a prospectus and an annotated bibliography due as well. Let me kill myself now. Argh.
But nonetheless, I am glad to be posting again. It relieves some stress and I know all of you EPers are so supportive in every pound that each person loses. I hope you guys have a fabulous Wednesday!!!
XOXO
08/13/2007 12:21
Because sometimes the wait is worth it
I weighed in at noon today because I have to work both jobs today and tomorrow and would miss my meeting tomorrow night. Gosh. I can't wait until school starts back so I don't have to work at night on Tuesdays and then I can go to my meetings. I miss actually being able to sit in on the meetings. I think they help me a lot. But either way, something is helping me (maybe it's being on my feet for 20 hours a week running around doing things at my second job or it could be because I actually stayed on plan this week all week). I lost 5.8 pounds this past week. And let's be honest, I needed to see that lose. I was getting frustrated, not at the plan, but at myself because I just couldn't stick with it.
Wait. Last Wednesday, I was off plan for like two hours. LOL. I had to unload a huge shipment of stuff and went to a friends place afterwards where upon I gorged myself on handfuls of peanuts, M&Ms, and half a Mellow Mushroom calzone. It felt so good to be eating though. I was STARVING.
Well, this weekend, I worked, slept, and ate. Literally. And maybe watched a few shows between. I just get so tired these days from working both jobs; I punched in over 72 hours this week. It's ridiculous.
Well, just checking in. Wishing all you EPers a fabulous week!
08/08/2007 15:58
I haven't been posting...
... because I've been eating fattening foods and ingesting ridiculous amounts of empty calories through alcohol. I gained another 1.4 pounds this week. I'm going to start posting every day whether or not I feel like it. It gives me accountability. I would say I am going to exercise this week... But that's doubtful because I'm scheduled for 72 hours of work. I barely have time to breathe much less work out. But, I can eat right and still lose weight. I just have to stick to the eating right part of it. Argh. Okay. Do it.
Good luck to all you EPers out there right now!
08/01/2007 10:36
Pissed Off
So, the bad and the worse: Bad: I gained 1.4 pounds. I knew I would. I deserved it after my binging on such fattening things Friday night. Isn't it funny how you ALWAYS know when you've gained weight. People are just like oh, it's a pound or so. Well, I can feel it. I feel much fatter than I did a week ago. Maybe it's just mindset, but I swear my clothes are tighter.
The worse: I chipped my tooth last night. I called my father to tell him and he's like oh, that's bad, but even worse, I don't think you have insurance anymore. WHAT?!?! I'm 21 years old and in college, how could he let my insurance lapse?!?! So here I am with a chipped front tooth (can we say hillbilly) feeling super fat and wondering how I'm going to get my tooth fixed on Friday at my appointment without having to pay out of pocket.
So, I hope all you EPers are having a much better Hump Day than I am.
07/31/2007 12:20
Bad Kristen
So, I haven't posted in like almost a week and I know why. I'm not really happy with how I have been this past week. And when you aren't happy with yourself, it's easier to just ignore the problem.
My weekend was a little hectic. I definitely wasn't OP Friday night when we went out to celebrate a friend's birthday at the Vortex and then Halo. Sweet potato fries with mayo, a buffalo blue burger and then more fries with I don't even know how many drinks... But, I did do a lot of walking through the city. Saturday and Sunday I was strict with points. And then last night, I tried to be super strict with points, but at the end of the night I ended up eating a few pieces of my friends sesame chicken (fried). I just felt so guilty
Tonight is weigh in. I expect to gain. Especially since I lost five pounds last week. But you know what, I deserve to gain. It'll put me back on track.
I also started my new job last night. That means I'll be working two jobs at about 12 hours a day. This will definitely limit my time to stuff my face (and earn me extra money too!) I'm excited--I definitely need to buy furniture for the apartment.
Okay. Well, I'll post later tonight how I did at WI... how many pounds I gained.
