I'm super involved in school. I was asked to be a representative of my major today at school in the Majors Fair (where current students go to learn about switching into other majors and what other majors are offered). I like being asked to do things like this. It makes me feel important. So yes, I felt important this morning. And I saw my ex's mother and father at the fair (they're advisors at my university). I looked good. They saw me. I felt important. Good so far. LOL.
Then I had lunch with three of my friends. We discussed what we were doing after school. It was a good talk. Not so healthy food, but I definitely counted it in my points and I was fine. Just super chill lunch and I needed that.
Then was class. It was boring as per usual. But I got a lot of things done. Like emails for other organizational thing, keep up with some long distance friends, and some budgeting (I'm foreshadowing here). So, I'm feeling accomplished. And that is good.
And then I weighed in. And I didn't gain weight, just stayed the same. And considering the ridiculous amount of partying I did this weekend, the unhealthy dinner Friday night, the drinking on Halloween, the Waffle House on Halloween, the 15 shots and 5 mixed drinks on Friday night (the list really does go on) and being on TOM, I think that's pretty damn good. The meeting wasn't so great because there are so many new people. I LOVE that people are coming, it's just I also like small groups. I'm torn. But, I didn't gain weight. So that was good.
Then a WW buddy asked me to come over for a WW meal she cooked with her daughter. I had a great time. The food was good. Her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend were sweet. There was a little drama that was silly. It lasted like two hours. I felt wanted. It was good.
And then.
I came home and checked my bank account online because it had some weird negative balance for like two days, except that I had a positive balance when actually reviewing the account. I checked today and I have 5, yes, count them, FIVE OVERDRAFT CHARGES of $35.00 each. What in the hell?!!?! I had deposited money on Friday. Went out and spent a good bit of money this weekend, and none of the charges went through until yesterday... So, that should have been more than fine. Upon calling and bitching at Bank of America, I found out that the money from the check deposited was held until yesterday... EVEN IF THAT IS TRUE, THERE WAS MONEY IN THE BANK WHEN THE CHARGES WENT THROUGH! Bank of America sucks. They like to screw with you. They told me they couldn't do anything until the pending overdrafts went through tomorrow. Well, they are going to be dealing with one angry bitch at 8am. I am not putting up with this shit. I'm closing the account tomorrow. And still livid. I can't remember the last time I was this angry.
So yes, good turns to bad in like 1 second. Funny how that happens.
Focusing on the positive though. No gain. People like me. I have friends. I'm going to be okay. Minor temporary set back. I'm on this.
Just wanted to let you each know that I love you all. While I may never get to meet any of you, I want you to all know that I am SO PROUD of each of you, because no matter how much weight you lose... You've all put one step forward by starting a blog. You are headed in the right direction. ALWAYS remember that.
... and by "this" I mean EVERYTHING. I feel so motivated to get everything organized right now. Like, not a lazy bone in my body.
I'm going to gain weight again when I weigh in tomorrow. I don't want to weigh in. This is in fact, the first time this time around that I am dreading weighing in. I wanted to be down to 200 pounds by Thanksgiving... And unless I magically lose 7.8 pounds in 18 days, it's just not going to happen. It's because I've been really bad this past week. And while I'm trying not to beat myself up about it, I know it's just another week I'm being set back, another week farther from my goal.
To make matters worse, I'm going out Friday night to Lotus Lounge because my best friend is coming to town. I'm really excited, but that's how this weekend went down the drain--alcohol. I'm going to try my best to limit my food beforehand and save some room for some drinks... I just have to be SO CAREFUL. I will not go over my points this week. And yes, I write down EVERYTHING ALWAYS... so I know I went 100s of points over my flex points. Argh. But I can fix it:
Plan: Stay within points while concentrating on the 8 GHG and busting ass in the gym for at least 45 minutes every day. I can do this. And I will do this.
On another note, I'm really glad that they have fixed the posts. I missed my old posts. It's really helpful to be able to go back and review them, and because we all don't just post about our weight loss events, but real life events... our posts include our lives. I'd be lost without mine. Seriously. So, thanks EP for fixing the problem even though you really never addressed it.
Tomorrow... The scale is going up. At least three pounds. And, really, I couldn't stop myself from eating this weekend. I don't even think it was the thought of food. No. I know it wasn't food or me being hungry. It was control. I haven't been so on top of things in my life... and as sick as this sounds, I was putting food in my mouth to punish myself. I didn't feel like I deserved to see the scale go down. I didn't think I was working hard enough to get there. And I was putting to much emphasis on getting to a certain weight by a certain time. You can't do that. It's nice to have goals, and even nicer when you meet them. But you can't have an unrealistic goals. I can't be 30 pounds lighter by January 10th. There's no way. I had even thought of resorting to pills, fad diets, and well... throwing up. And after making myself realize that.... Being 20 pounds lighter by the 10th would be a big deal. And I have over two months to get there.
So... I'll stop stuffing the food in my mouth and start exercising. I haven't in five days. I should be shot. There I go again, negative reinforcement. I can do this. I can get there.
It's because of this guy. I don't even know why I try to impress him so much. Hell. I can't impress him. He lives 952 miles away (thanks MapQuest). But you guessed it, I'm going to see him on January 10th for my 22nd birthday. And I want to look good. I mean, damn good. He was "with" me at my highest weight when he was down last February. Yes, I'm obsessing about a guy who I haven't seen in almost a year. But, for someone else to see a change, not just my roommmate, or my meeting leader, or my parents... For some hot guy to be like, "Wow. What happened to you?!? You are gorgeous." That's like adding even more motivation to my effort. I know, I don't need that kind of motivation.. But seriously... Just a tad always helps.
So, I'll focus... I can do this. And sorry for the post. I'm in a weird mood today... But on Points nonetheless...
Came home last night. Didn't feel good. Not understanding why I am up 2.6 pounds when I have been sooo good, so I decided I'd give my body a reason to be up. I ate... and I ate... and I ate... and I ate. Yeah, I could keep going on. Now I'm mad at myself. Argh. Oh well. We all mess up at some point. So, time to get back on track today.
I've just been under so much stress with this wreck and school. I really do need to get on top of things. And this is the weekend to do it!!! No more procrastinating. Let's be proactive. And work out A LOT!
That's me. I'm obsessed. I can't stop thinking about how much weight I need to lose and the quickest way/amount of time I can do it in. No, I'm not being unhealthy about it, by any means. I know what healthy weight loss is. I'm following my Points. Eating what I'm supposed to and working out. It's just that my weight is ALWAYS on my mind. I can't even focus in class because I'm so obsessed. I know this has had to have happened to a few of you... What have you done to stop it?
Okies. Hopefully to bed so I don't think about it. (I'll probably just dream about it instead...)
... minor update. I'm feeling fat. I can't exercise right now because of the car accident. I'm just hurting too much. And while I've stayed in my points.. I"m just feeling extra large right now...
Good: I had my WI last night and lost another 2.4 pounds for a total of 25.4!!! I got my washer for my 10 percent key chain and a 25 pound magnet. I was so excited. Only 75.4 more pounds to go!! And I've come this far, so really, it doesn't seem like that much right now. They have started calling me skinny-mini at work now. It's a good feeling. And I had lunch with a friend I hadn't seen in a while today and she just couldn't stop telling me how great I looked. I know I'm supposed to be doing this for mainly health reasons, but honestly, I love getting compliments like those. My journey has inspired a leader to recommit. I've had one of my bosses talk to me about weight loss. She's a Lifetime member of WW and used to be a leader, but she's let some weight slip back on. I wouldn't say any more than 15 pounds, and she lost over 75, so not so much as before. She's (hopefully) going to come to my meeting with me next Tuesday. But, all good things must come to an end...
Bad: I got into a ridiculous car wreck last night. Obviously I am doing fine, as I am sitting her giving you an account of it. My arm has started hurting today and it's run up into my neck on my right side. I'm hoping I just slept funny... But yes, I was in a four car wreck last night. It was dark, wet, and the roads were really slick. I know for sure I wasn't following to close and I know for sure there wasn't any traffic in that lane, but what I don't know is why he slammed on his brakes. As soon as I saw his break lights come on, I stepped on mine. And for the first time in my life, I knew I didn't have any control of my car. It scares me so much just thinking about it. I just slid... and slid... and my breaks didn't do anything. And I hit him and another car hit me and the car behind that car hit him. Except, none of us knows what order it went it. All I know, is I'm honestly afraid to drive in the rain again. It took a lot of strength for me to turn on my car this morning. So... everyone PLEASE be careful driving. I'm facing a lot of consequences (insurance and now a court date), but even more I'm facing the emotional wear and tear. So, yes, just because your driving carefully doesn't mean other cars aren't... Just take a lot of caution.
That's my 25 pound magnet and my washer on my key chain above. I was so proud receiving them!!! The picture's not so hot because it's my camera phone, but you get the point.
Let's face it, all of us have gone through that phase at least once in our lives (I've been going through it my entire life) where people tell you that you have such a pretty face, or such a nice smile, or such high cheekbones... when inside, you know they are saying to themselves... She's such a pretty girl, if only she'd lose some weight. Well, BUH-BAM!!!I'm doing it. So yes, why should I be pretty, when I can be gorgeous?
So, I went home this weekend. Gracious. Such drama (but we won't get into those juicy details-LOL).
Before I left this summer, I taught my grandmother the Weight Watchers method. I've been checking back and forth with her to see how she's been doing over the past few months... And wow. If anything is a testament to Weight Watchers working it's her. She had a broken pelvis, a bad back, sore and swollen knees, and all kinds of other problems and weighed 144.4 pounds as just 4'9". When I saw her this weekend, I just wanted to cry. She's DISAPPEARING! She's at 121 pounds and keeping up at marathon's pace! She's doing it all on her own and can't really exercise because of her health problems. I couldn't be more proud of her. I wish my dad and step-mother would get the hint...
I also so my best friend this weekend! And she just couldn't get over how good I looked and how much I had changed in such a short amount of time. Seriously, sometimes it's the compliments that gets me through the rough patches. I love her so much!!!
And then last night, I went out with these two guys. Yes, not one... But TWO! Seriously. One of the guys invited me to come to a movie with them (and I thought that he was the one that was seriously into me, but then wham!). The other guy was hardcore flirting and trying to find reasons to brush up against me. It was so awesome sitting in between these two guys at the movies who were both so obviously into me. I just ate it up! (and it didn't cost me any Points, LOL)
So yes, good evening. Semi-good morning despite the traffic from driving back from their place (LOL)... Get your mind out of the gutter! I slept on the couch! And now at work about to go write on all your blogs!
Here's to yummy healthy food and some exercise (yes, that's right... I used the "e" word because I like it now!) in such a rainy Atlanta day!
You ever have those days where you just feel SUPER FAT?!? Well, that's me today. My clothes aren't fitting any tighter or anything. I think it is just the guilt of last night... I drank quite a few beers that went over my points, and that would have been okay if I hadn't had McDonald's after that. And I'm not talking a salad, I'm talking the full deal... Fried chicken sandwich and French fries... It wasn't event that good. Do you ever just want something because you can't have it? That almost happened again today when we went to the Cookie Barn, but I thought about last night. And yeah, while a cookie might taste good, those compliments and those clothes fitting better tastes SO MUCH BETTER. LOL. But, nonetheless, I went and weighed myself just now and I'm down two pounds. I just hope the scale reads that way on Tuesday...
Okay. Off to cook dinner and then watch Desperate Housewives!!! I'm so excited. I love ending my nights with some good easy viewing!
Not much going on, just chill. I'm just in the down time portion of my day right now. Work at Tech this morning and about to leave for work at ULTA tonight. Uggh. I hate working until 10pm. Well, not really hate it, but don't really like it tonight. I just want to be lazy all day.
I didn't go to the gym yesterday. I felt it. Seriously. I never knew how much going to the gym could actually effect me. I mean, I feel physically and emotionally better when I do. So, when I get home from work tonight, I will definitely be going to the gym. I've been on points today... Had yogurt and granola for breakfast and went to DocGreen's for lunch. I love that place! And I love even more that it has nutritional facts on its website. Yay! Okay, well, just a quick update.
