08/01/2010 15:03
had the best weekend
This weekend has been so awesome. Friday i picked up my kayaks so saturday we went playing in the river. It was so much nice fun with me and my kids. THen today i got up at 4am and did a dam tough dualathlon. I ran/walked 5km, rode a bike for 20km and then ran 2.5km. I finished it in 3hours and 43minutes and a whopping calorie burn of 1740 calories. I w orked hard as tyres went flat on bike so two laps were done on flat tyres and very slow going because they were hard work but i finished it. I feel so pleased to realise how far i came. I am pretty tender now but it still an awesome effort for me. I am happy
bye Toni
Posted By: striving2bskinny
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07/17/2010 09:53
bouncing back slowly-drepression a bitch
THe last several months for me has been really tough. I been battling depression costing me nearly 12kg that I already lost. I was unable to keep going in this vicious cycle sick of dieting so I eat the wrong food, then I feel guilty and then the thought of stuff it kick in so you eat more then the guilts come on. I was in a real battle but i knew if i gave up i would be back up to 135kg or even more. This I refused. There was no way I was going back to that size. Where you are too unhealthy to walk up your steps. The battle was too hard. So I finally got to the end of myself and this battle. I went and got help. I did some dropping away of unneccesary time commitments that was taking up mind space. I also very aware if i thought last semester was hard this one was going to be even harder as there is 2 more subjects to do. So all this was playing on my mind. My mum said i help. I can always cook a meal. As much as I dearly love my mum a brilliant cook but there is no slimming in her world. OR go back to hubby meals well that is steak and chips, every meal got to have chippies. So I did some thinking and I worked out that i was spending $16/day on softdrinks, I am going to invest that in me. SO I went and stocked up my fridge with healthy food and i got some JEnny craig meals so that i can eat healthy but ttake the pressure off me and the kids and they can all enjoy food they love and miss when i am on a diet. and I must admit. I love jenny craig. I love the variety of it. I did when i fell pregnant with andrew but it takes the pressure off me for a bit. My daughter said she wishes she was on the diet with me as i am getting all these yummy things like today i had a choclote chip cookie, and it tasted so nice. So it felt nice to be naughty. I even get to enjoy a pie and sausage roll this week. I am so excited the food is very palatable and I am starting to feel stronger and more i can rather than i can't.
So i am pleased for me
Toni
Posted By: striving2bskinny
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07/17/2010 09:52
bouncing back slowly-drepression a bitch
THe last several months for me has been really tough. I been battling depression costing me nearly 12kg that I already lost. I was unable to keep going in this vicious cycle sick of dieting so I eat the wrong food, then I feel guilty and then the thought of stuff it kick in so you eat more then the guilts come on. I was in a real battle but i knew if i gave up i would be back up to 135kg or even more. This I refused. There was no way I was going back to that size. Where you are too unhealthy to walk up your steps. The battle was too hard. So I finally got to the end of myself and this battle. I went and got help. I did some dropping away of unneccesary time commitments that was taking up mind space. I also very aware if i thought last semester was hard this one was going to be even harder as there is 2 more subjects to do. So all this was playing on my mind. My mum said i help. I can always cook a meal. As much as I dearly love my mum a brilliant cook but there is no slimming in her world. OR go back to hubby meals well that is steak and chips, every meal got to have chippies. So I did some thinking and I worked out that i was spending $16/day on softdrinks, I am going to invest that in me. SO I went and stocked up my fridge with healthy food and i got some JEnny craig meals so that i can eat healthy but ttake the pressure off me and the kids and they can all enjoy food they love and miss when i am on a diet. and I must admit. I love jenny craig. I love the variety of it. I did when i fell pregnant with andrew but it takes the pressure off me for a bit. My daughter said she wishes she was on the diet with me as i am getting all these yummy things like today i had a choclote chip cookie, and it tasted so nice. So it felt nice to be naughty. I even get to enjoy a pie and sausage roll this week. I am so excited the food is very palatable and I am starting to feel stronger and more i can rather than i can't.
So i am pleased for me
Toni
Posted By: striving2bskinny
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06/23/2010 14:56
Weekends plans- tired thinking about it at the end of day i have done over 40km of excercise
This weekend is going to be fun. On saturday at 6am I am going to row 7km from Shelley bay to palleranda then I am going to ride a pushbike for 38km through cross country. I have no idea if i am capable to do this but going to give it a shot.
going to be fun.
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06/22/2010 14:08
photo links added sorry-why do school kids have to be mean? Mum's bit distressed. I feel her pain. :(
YOu should see how devastated my daughter is today. She is 10 year old girl today at school being called tweedlefat. she not fat. she came home not wanting to eat because she get fatter. She 10 years old for pete sake why does she have to be picked on for her looks. she beautiful. She definitely not fat. Look at this yes i know she under a life jacket and the photo really poor but does this girl on the left look fat to you.
She goes to kid fit with me twice a week, she walks up mountains with me so she does not lead a sedentry life.
Would yuou say a girl that is 10 year old wearing between 8-10 in girls clothing obese???
I feel her pain I know that from school. Wehn she told me i just cried for her. because that hurts and it is someitng you carry on. I know i did. Just needed to get it out
she is second from the back.
this is a better one she is the one in the middle in pink
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06/20/2010 12:15
Very Proud of me
Today I went to the gym. My home town has got an adventurethon coming up in 3 weeks. Well i love to do it, you kayak for 7km, bike for 39km then you finish on a run leg or in my case a walk leg for 6km. Well I have not signed up today i thought right going to go to the gym and see if can do it. Well i decided today go and do half the requirements in the gym and next week aim for 3/4 of the adventurethon and the following week do the whole kerbang in it. Well I got myself 4km on the treadmill, 20km on the bike and did 4km on the rower and to make it even better I have never done that far ever on the rower. I burnt 1028 calories and to have my personal trainer to say awesome that he loves my stuff was the icing on the cake. I do think i can do it the biggest thing I found that in the gym i get bored sitting in there no scenery just looking at a tv but you can't hear what going on just see the pictures however with that said I am very pleased. Considering yesterday i was giving up on my personal trainer feeling I was letting him down. Which is a lie that i am not worth the money but that too a lie. I went to church and the biggest titbit i got today that given me a new motivation. Wehn i first started and I lost the 30kg, i was excercising daily and the Lord said today to lay hold of your victory you need to actively pursue it. Well that fired me. I am going to actively pursue my freedom from this weight battle once and for all because it has stolen enough from me. I am going through this time and I will see my body it healthy weight for me.
all the best
Toni
Posted By: striving2bskinny
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05/26/2010 23:48
sad with me
Today I am feeling discussed with me. I got sidetracked with exam pressure and over ate and put the3kg back on. TOday am hoping back on track. Right now i am so mad with myself.
toni
Posted By: striving2bskinny
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05/24/2010 12:27
My day been awesome
Today been awesome. I ate well even made time to go to the gym.
breakfast was porridge and banana
so breakfast TICK
before the gym I had a mandarin + protein shake
then I went to the gym after first lecture i hopped in my car and headed to the beach.
I did 10 minutes on treadmill first 5 minutes was warm up then i did 5 minutes uphill on 5 kph, then I did 1 km on the cross trainer in 9.55minutes. then I did another 5 minutes on treadmill uphill again, then i did another 1km on crosstrainer this time in 9.48minutes. Then I did 10 minutes back on the treadmill up the hill. Then i did a 20 minutes on a preprogrammed setting on an a stationery bike. Heart monitor said it was 517 calories burned.
EXCERCISE tick
then i had 30 minutes left before next lecture so i quickly grabed a tin chicken and a carrot and ate it on the way to school will get a properly lunch after the lecture.
Lunch
Rib fillet sandwich
Tea: well we went out for fish and chips. Every part of me was going to eat what the kids were having. Well the lady taking the order made a huge error so there was not enough to feed the children hubby and me. So i went back in and ordered a shrimp and fresh salad and a sprite zero. So all in all I can honestly say it was the better choice. and quite honestly it was nice. I had 5 chips all night so really as much as I would of enjoyed fish and chips now I would be cranky with myself
NAUGHTIES FOR THE DAY
i did have one red mars bar for the day that was worth 95calories
but total calories for the day eaten is 1211
excercise calories is 517
so deficit of calories today is 694 calories.
Ben should be very happy with that (ben is my personal trainer who i pay to bust my butt and keep me accountable. He the reason i am this far. When i give up on myself he keeps ringing me and bugging me until i get back on track.)
I made a decision today. Everytime i aim for the 90's kg as soon as i hit there i go awol the last 3 times. So today i decided that it I am heading for the 80's it was better music anyway. that my motto and i gonna stick to it.
so that my day all hickledy pickledy
bye Toni
Posted By: striving2bskinny
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05/23/2010 23:20
Duromine 15mg is my freind
I am so excited i am actually loosing weight. I never lost weight at this rate. I know it will slow down but i seen from 108.0 to 106.4 sunday and today 104.6 way cool to see those scales finally moving looking forward to see what the official weigh in says but at this stage i am thrilled with that result so far. Will update this afternoon as today is first day back at uni on duromine
bye Toni
Posted By: striving2bskinny
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05/23/2010 10:09
bummed and excited
well day 2 on 15mg duromine. well how was my day
awesome absolutely awesome not a side effect from the tablet. today i returned to normal driving again now i know it not affecting me. I did step on the scales a drop of 2kg overnight. I know not to claim it but would love to. LOL
I went to my mum place. Saw this beautiful denim coat she had there. Had a big picture of betty boop on the back of it with bling. Very pretty coat. So I looked at the size 10. That is the biggest size 10 i ever saw. so i thought i ridicule myself and try it on. Well blow me dead i fitted into a size 10. I know this is a head trick by companies to make you feel good and guess what it did. i have not been a size 10 in over 25 years so it did feel nice even if it was a false lull.
I am bit bummed though. No one is replying to me. Iknow i am new to blogging so perhaps there is some ettiquette I am not doing I do not know. if that the case can some one please tell me. As i love some healthy feedback. help keep me accountable.
As for my eating it been pretty weird
breakfast banana with a fruche
snack 1/4 bread roll or the bum part of it before the sausage of the hotdog started
lunch roast pork sandwich with beetroot
snack. rib fillet with grate carrot, lettuce, beetroot hubby was hungry os offered to cook lunch and i ate it
4pm snack banana
tea i am having porridge. just craving porridge so going ot have that for tea time due to the fact already had a tea with snack.
ok talk to you tommorrow but please if i got to do soemthing to get feedback please tell me
thanks Toni
Posted By: striving2bskinny
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