Here's the thing. I start off on this journey eating low sugar this and low-carb bread, etc. etc. Until I realize that I have to KEEP doing these things to not only maintain the weight loss but hopefully lose more to get to goal. This is the real definition of lifestyle. I see now, more clearly every day, that every change I have made to get to where I am is not only of value then but had better be in my repitoire from here on out or it's back to the 28W's for me. That may sound harsh, but it's the cold hard truth. Now, how about some warm fuzzies:
I can sit in chairs and my butt doesn't hurt
I think I look hot in most of my clothes
I can work out in the gym without manic paranoia and oversized t-shirts
i can wear WAY cuter clothes
I like being outdoors more than I have before because I do not sweat constantly
I feel sexier
I like looking at myself in the mirror much more than before
Knowing I am mentally tough
I also know that all of the emotional space I have given myself must continue!!! For example, today I was a bit stiff in my upper back and my body just needed some rest. So I intentially missed my workout and stayed home. I light my lamp berge', talked on the phone with dear friends, made the bed, had a long bath, etc. before time for work. I feel so refreshed! THIS is what it's about! It's about listening to my internal needs. Now I am ITCHING to work out and I have so much energy. #1 - take care of myself!
"The Figs" are a local band and I just love riding my bike to their music. Rock on figlets!
So today I had my mexican craving again and did what I did last time which was get a flank steak ONLY with pico de gallo and salsa. Throw that in with a few chips and salsa and relatively healthy meal accomplished. Who needs all those rice and beans anyway?
OK - so I posted about joining a running class but to my severe disappointment, and that includes tears, I had to pass on the running class because of my back. It gets very irriated with high impact moves. I thought it could handle it because of the weight lost but not so. The GOOD NEWS is that I CAN ride my bike! SO - Wednesday I biked seven miles and did weights at the gym and I feel great!
So, I am finding things to pour myself into. I may not be a runner but I am a darn good biker! :-)
OK - so I posted about joining a running class but to my severe disappointment, and that includes tears, I had to pass on the running class because of my back. It gets very irriated with high impact moves. I thought it could handle it because of the weight lost but not so. The GOOD NEWS is that I CAN ride my bike! SO - Wednesday I biked seven miles and did weights at the gym and I feel great!
So, I am finding things to pour myself into. I may not be a runner but I am a darn good biker! :-)
I had some cake at a brithday party. It was store bought cake. It was good, or so I thought. However, I never felt full and satisfied. They day turned into an eating distaster with me searching like some frantic blind person for the light.
Lesson learned? Eat foods the feel good to my mind and my body.
Next week I am going to start a beginner running class. I went to our locally owned running store and got the perfect shoe for my needs. I am so exctied! I am looking at my red saucony box on my desk right now! I am only wearing them to run (JOG!) so as to prolong the cushion benefits of the shoe.
I remember when I was younger, I was very insecure. No person could tell me enough that I was ok and what I was doing or not doing was ok. It wasn't enough to know that what I was doing what right for me. I needed some kind of external validation. In most areas, I have gained strength. Unfortunately, I have come to realize that other people have insecurities too, in their own areas. The really hard part is just knowing that I cannot fill up the proveribal validation hole. They only feel good about themselves in the light of how others see them. Hmmm. That is really a sad way to live if you think about it. Here's to allowing others their journey. As I type this, I realize that is probably one of the greatest gifts I can give my fellow human beings.
I love and approve of myself. I allow others their journeys.
Song of the month: Comes a Time - Neil Young, covered also by Lacy J. Dalton or Ellis Paul and Gilbert
So last night was one of fried catfish and french fries. I have eaten this dinner before and survived, but I shall not let this diminish by even better good news. yesterday I was 225 (not 225.5)! I could not be more excited abou this! It really enouraged me.
My goal for this weekend is to relax and go for our long 7 - 8 mile bike ride, eat healthy, and watch my DVD of HBO's "Rome."
“So, if being overweight supports more life, go ahead and be overweight. But if you notice your life diminishing, your energy dropping, even your life expectancy decreasing, you may want to look at whether this is what is called ‘mastery.’ The soul always wants only one thing: more life, and grander and grander expressions of it. That is called evolution.”
Right now I am emotionally ready for lunch. Kick back with my yummy low-fat breakfast scramble - my favorite meal EVER and some Young and the Restless! Who could ask for more? Well, I do. I ask for more. I ask for more of myself because I will eat and then want to eat more. I will eat now and be hungry too early in the day to last until supper without getting grumpy. I am waiting until at least another hour to eat lunch. Truthfully, I am not really that hungry right now. So, I cleaned up the bedroom and killed a wasp. Now....on to find other things to do...
One of the things I am working on is allowing people to roll how they roll. Just because I see an easier way of doing something does not mean another person is ready to take that easier way. This has nothing to do with food but about the places in which we are willing to move beyond our comfort zone.
It is heartbreaking to watch someone give their power away to someone else, be it a child or another adult, but sometimes that seems the safe way to retain their love. It helps for me to look at the places in my life where I have bent myself a bit, perhaps, to stay on someone's good graces. Perhaps none of us are 100% immune to this and we can only help to grow as we get older in this area.
I accept myself, and others, just the way they are.
I had one of those meals I needed. It was one of those meals where I was so happy to see my sister that I didn't need food to "fill me up" or fight the feelings to not do so. We went to The Olive Garden, notorious for yummy, fattening food. I got out of there with two servings of their yummy salad, two breadsticks with a little bit of alfredo dipping sauce and ....COFFEE! It was AWESOME! Then DH & I came home and rode seven miles on our bikes. I had a even keel dinner as well, escept for the 1/2 cup of ice cream but it was fat free and 90 cal's for a half cup.
I needed that. I hereby give myself permission to relax on myself. When I relax and go with the flow, life is much easier. I think I am trying to be too perfect - please my trainer and please my consultant. But it is MY program and I shall take it at my OWN pace.
I have also learned that every pound has a story. Every week of maintaining is a story. It is the layers of my life and emotions.
As I type this, I realize that is probably one of the greatest gifts I can give my fellow human beings.