THANKS for the birthday wishes!

Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes!

This past week started great but when the weekend hit so did my stress level.  I am pretty sure I had some over 1700-2,000 calorie days, hence my 224 status today.  I feel like I am 5 yards away from making the touchdown but it feels like 100 yards because my mind has so much trouble staying focused!  UGH!  I just ate breakfast and I am in the computer room now so I don't go make more breakfast. 

The happy news is that I got a mp3 player (my last broke because I dropped it like a dufus!) and I am ready for my bike rides/walks.  Today will definately be a cardio day with my pumpin' tunes.

DH & I decided to go on another vacation this year.  We are going to Lake Catherine State Park again in Hot Springs, AR.  I can't wait!

Hello!

Hi everyone!

Tonight is Shabbat service and I always look forward to the beautiful music.  Tonight we are singing a new MIchamocha and I am so stoked!!! :-)  Music really is my first love!  It brings me such happiness.

Today I am 221.5  Oh yeah - if I count right that is 1.5 away from goal.  I am seeing it in my mind's eye - 220 220 - 220.

Well, off to workout.

I finish what I start.  The real Stephanie no matter what!

cooking light

DH & I have been trying out some recipies from my Cooking Light cookbook.  We started out making cookies, but yesterday turned into pork kebabs and ham tetreazinni.  Today will be tuna cassarole.  It is pretty fun to look through a recipie book the embraces the different ethinic ways to cook things in a healthy way!

OH last night I tried those Jimmy Dean low-fat breakfast sandwiches They are very comparable to the Jenny Craig Sunshine Sandwich except these come with CHEESE!  Praise be!

Happy Healthy Eating!

Happy Wednesday

Trying to find new music today.  Ugh.  Sometimes it's not that fun. The singers keep getting younger and younger which bugs me you know?  There are to many wanna-be-Brittany's out there.  And frankly, what can an 18 -year-old tell me about love and life?  Then, my old standards like Kenny Rogers and Olivia Newton John keep releasing their greatest hits every five years.  Ok - off rant.

Today I am 222!  I know I said I was going to maintainence mode, but my consultant said she would stick with  me to get to 220.  So, if she is not sick of calling me every week, and she is very faithful calling, then I will stick with it too!  I have really enjoyed having someone call me every week.  It's so awesome.  I have never set one foot inside a JC center. 

Today I am going to the gym to lift weights.  It's raining.  The Biggest Loser is on TIVO.  I have awesome students today.  My DH made put the clean sheet from the dryer on the bed last night.   Boy, that was a sweet surprise because I was so tired I was going to sleep on the mattress.  God bless thoughtful people.

Life is cool.

Love Will Turn You Around

This week has been great so far with my food.  Of course, I am finished with "that time of the month" and I think my hormones are more back to normal.  I do notice the cravings for sweets is considerably lower! 

What I notice most is that on days, and specifically consecutive days, when I take control, I always feel better the next day.  Being in control of my food is a metaphor for being in control of my life.

I am reminded of the Kenny Rogers song on the AOL  Listening Party right now.

"It's your mind, that tricks you into leaving every time. But love (for yourself) will turn you around.  Turn you around."

That song is soooo my theme song.  I love it.

icky icky icky

I think my face looks fatter today.  Am I freaking out?  Hmmmm..  Moving on.

Today I feel the urge to be private.  Just private.  My friend would use this saying, "Circle the wagons."  I like that saying.  I feel protective.

I wish I could say all things in my life run very smoothly and fairly, but they usually don't.  I wish I could also say that I come out smelling like a rose but I don't.  One of the biggest lessons for me in life is getting over crap.  Getting over someone else not thinking much of me.  Yup.  Of course, most of it is in my little wierd head, but it's still there.

Why do we think someone else has so much control over our lives?  They don't really. I found some cool quotes to neutralize my bad tapes:

Do not build up obstacles in your imagination. Norman Vincent Peale

Don't follow someone else's map.  Deepak Chopra

You do not exist to impress the world.  You excist to live your life in a way that will make you happy.  Richard Bach

We will all have failures and rejections in life.  The real question is how will you respond, with bitterness, envy and self-doubt, or with resilience and wisdom?   Rabbi Harold Kushner

Know your own mind.  Train yourself to think what you wish to think.  The Science of Mind

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.  Joseph Campbell

It ain't for the picture

I have reached new level of trying not to use food to fill the spiritual void that arrives from time to time.  It is not surprising to me when people gain back weight, relapse into drugs, ciggs,  or alchohol because addictions are tricky and sneaky.  Addictions are mind games.  Addiction are like manipulative lovers that make you think everything is your fault while they hit you.  Addictions are parents who think their whiney, spoiled kids are perfect and it's your fault you can't motivate them.  Addicitons are listening to sappy love songs all day feeling sorry for yourself. 

When it comes to food I must continue to put myself first and the reasons why I want to lose weight first. 

The guy at the gym posted my before and after pictures.  He told me I have been inspiring people.  Hmm.  That makes me a little nervous.  The public photos make my weight loss real and commited.  I mean do I need to maintain my new weight for joe q public?  Of course not, I tell my heart.  The people pleasing side of me comes out and I feel anxiety anyway.  Probably from some isolated moment in high school, but nevertheless, insecurities and crap inner talk arise.  Can I do this?  Can I really get to 220?  200 would be so much better.  Heck, I can't even get to 220 how am I going to get to 200?  This is going to take forever.  Blah Blah.

I replayed my Touchstones for Success.  I love the little CD.  I have worn it out.  I always hear something in a new and different way that I need exactly in that moment. 

That dang old creamer

I have gotten hooked on all these flavored creamers.  Well you can get them fat free or sugar free so I am good right?

Hmm.. No.

Today I measured with a true tablespoon and my two cups of coffee cost me 200 calories!  Oh yes. 

OK - that's why I haven't lost the past month! HELLO!  200 calories or more extra per day?  Oh, I am not EVEN doing that math!

Maintainence

The end of the year will be 25 months since I started to reach my goal weight.  Hopefully I will be 220 for weigh-in on Tuesday, but if I am not, I am still going to maintainence.  For one thing, i am very tired of being in "weight-loss" mode and I have other things going on.  So, it is become detremintal and adding stress.  I think the best thing is go to maintainence because I will still be within the 5 lbs that will include the 220!  It kinda sucks that it takes this freakin' long to get to 220 but I am ready for my 35% discount and move forward.  Not move up the scale, but move forward to other things in my life.  I am really proud of the work I have done and I don't plan to throw it away.  I just need to not have this on my mind all the time.

Love the break

I don't think I've been much happier to have a break as I am for this one!  I have never felt better about my fitness level and it spurs to do even more.  I am keeping up with my weight training which I love because it really DOES change your body!  I love it so much!  It's such a rush.  I call it working smarter not harder, you know?  I even jogged to the gym yesterday.  This is definately one of the best gifts I've ever given myself.

Don't follow someone else's map. - Deepak Chopra