Me - LIVE! My first Fitness DVD review!

Taking One for the Team

First, I just want to say I was 222 this morning so YEAH!

Now, let me add that I never expected Motherhood to change my life so utterly and completely.  I mean, it ways that I never thought it was touch it has totally invaded.  The biggest shock though has been from other Moms.  I just "assumed" that all Moms would understand if I had to cut back working to be a Mom to my own child.  Well, they don't.  Some don't.  Just a word to the wise there.  But, I know to do what is right for me.

I'm still on an Ellen Barrett kick.  Everything by "The Studio" is awesome!

Anyone tried the new steam-able veggies?  Some of them are very good.  We like the green peas and mushrooms and the corn.

This and That

I am collosally dumb!  No, really!  OK so since I spend a lot of time at home watching QVC and HSN, I forget what's out there.  I started buying make-up from them and Sephora.  Then I found these great beauty blogs and discovered that I can buy this stuff at the drugstore for less than half the price!  OH MY!  Well, I guess I should thank QVC and HSN for turning me on to the latest in beauty tricks and techniques, but I'd rather more quarters stay in my pocket!

In other news, I have been fighting the urge to eat most days.  I'm in this constant learning curve of how to be a Mom and an everybody else (teacher, wife, musician, etc.)  I have finally figured out a way to have family time at night without driving us all insane with my late hours.  I cut back on the late hours.  Easier said than done.  But, I did do it and "took one for the team."  (Yes, I had a very angry Momma at me).

I'm holding out at 223.  Not losing but not really gaining either.  I have a pain in the rear cold that is causing me to drag a bit. 

I love what I do and I love my family.  That's the good stuff.

Pictures

The first two photos were taken yesterday.  Yes, I'm 37! Today I was 225 and FREAKING OUT! LOL  Hubbie and I have been hooked on this chex chocolate peanut butter evilness.  Fortunately there isn't anymore in the house.This my sweet hubbie and me!

This bottom photo was taken about two years ago.

people pleaser be gone

Finally learning how to be a mom and a person

I'm finally learning to accept that I'm a working Mom.  This has been hard for me as some of you know, but I'm finally getting it.
It occurred to me yesterday that so many people depend on me - my students & their parents for quality service, my son, my husband, my family, etc. 
My father was diagnosed with lung cancer.  Suddenly I found myself so emotional and the tiniest things.  It reminds me of when I was pregnant and Hallmark commercials made me cry.  I don't think it's just hormones.  I also think it's life hitting you in the face and how powerful our connections to one another can be. 
I know that it's ok for me to take some time for myself, to be a hermit for a day or to go shopping, whatever it is...I need it to be there for the people I love.  And, I need it so that I enjoy being in my own skin 24/7.

Time for a break!

Can you believe the scale said 221.5 today?  OMG!!!  I hope it shows that tomorrow for my weigh-in!  (crossing fingers)  When I reach 220, I'll be at my JC goal that I made in November 2005, what a milestone!

I'm on break from teaching and I am really enjoying taking some time to myself.  I have two teen students coming in the spring and I am beyond excited about it.

I think the week is starting to look up.  It always seems to take me a few days to sleep off the fatigue.

Deny, Deny, Deny

I wonder how often I deny myself the need to rest and recouperate.  It's only when I find myself eating out of control that I realize I've chopped off pieces of myself in the following ways:
*I don't mind doing that extra load of laundry even though I haven't eaten breakfast yet."
"I won't leave Ephram in daycare one second longer than when I'm working.  Who cares if I don't get any processing time from my job."
"I'll wash my husband's clothes even though mine are piled up and Ephram has no clothes for the next day."
"I'll go to the store even though it could wait and I'm tired."

And on it goes.  Well, I'm trying to empower myself this week and get rid of some of the Mom guilt. 
*No washing hubbie's clothes this week
*bring Ephram on my day off so I can rest and get rid of this cold and sore throat!
*finally watch a movie all the way through!

I"m only three pounds away from my original JC goal weight of 220!  I can't wait!

Any Cholesterol Number Nerds Out There?

Here are my numbers:
June 2009
Total: 208
LDL: 127
HDL: 45
TR: 159

November 2009
Total: 212
LDL: 138 (goal under 130)
HDL: 49 (50 optimal)
Tri: 124 (under 150)

So I knocked a huge dent in my Triglycerides and raised my HDL!  I'm not sure why my LDL went up when my Tri's went down, but overall the Doc said these numbers showed improvement and I did it with diet.  Now, I can't say I've kept all the fat out, so I know I need to work on this, but I did eat lots of oat bran every morning and added supplements of flax and fish oil.

A Big Sigh of Relief

I'm quickly coming to the conclusion that parenting, like most of life, is 60% action and the rest is prayer.  I've spent the last year expecting too much of myself and paying the price for it.  I mean, in everything else I just dive in and get the results I want.  Somehow, parenting doesn't work that way.  Probably because it's 24/7 and I am human.  I am feeling a great big sigh of relief now that we have changed our child care situation.  I'm learning to accept the fact that I am a working mom and I need time to work and take care of myself.  I wish we lived near family.  I wish I didn't have to work.  I wish a lot of things.  But for me and my perfectionist nature, I think parenting is teaching me to learn to live in the gray areas of life.  Not surprisingly, I felt much better about the food yesterday - another sign that I made the right decision.

I've never though of myself as a "Keep up with the Jones" type person.  However, I was comparing myself with every stay at home Mom and that's not fair because I do work.  So, there you go.  I'm a working Mom who is doing her best to balance it all.

And in the end, I want to be healthy and rested for everyone to be the best me I can be.