A break

What is the difference between a break and time alone?

I find myself craving next Wednesday, the first day out of the next six when I will be alone.  Is that crazy?  Then I stress and eat.  I just ate an entire container of cream cheese (w/stevia added).  I mean I feel like a druggie!  UGH!

Is this stress?  I guess it is but I can't pinpoint where it is coming from so I can fix it.

Ramblings...

• I've been using STEVIA to sweeten things lately.  I even drink the ZEVIA cokes from amazon.  Yummy and don't bloat me.
• I'm still eating too many calories at night.  My carbs are less than 100 per day so my rings stay loose, but calories, calories.  Just stop overeating at night already!
• Taking a break from exercise, very unlike me, but I'm actually enjoying not walking around in back pain and having more time in the mornings w/my son. 
  
• I've been watching BeautyBroadcast again on youtube.  I love getting inspiration to take care of myself.

Still no-sugaring

I have to say the no sugar/low carb thing isn't that bad.  I still have plenty of treats like cream cheese w/stevia.  I love cream cheese so not a problem.
I haven't lost anymore weight, BUT I'm not gaining and I"ve lost inches.  However, my next step is to lower the calories so my weight loss will happen.  I'm eating between 80-100 carb grams per day and those are HEALTHY carbs from fruits & veggies so I'm stoked.

Mostly I get tired of thinking about food.  I started tracking calories on "myfitnesspal.com" and I found I ate more because it made me panic or something.  Anyway, I'll figure it out.  I had cravngs/the feeling of addiciton to food.  Or, you could also say I dislike the feeling of NOT eating when I WANT to.  That feeling is the yuckiest of them all.  Even though I know the next morning I'll feel better.

My back has been bothering me like CRAZY which always seems to happen when I try to exercise in any intensity at all.  SO FRUSTRATING!  This means I have to watch my caloric intake even more.  I suppose it's a blessing but I really do like working out.

Atkins day 5

I have lost three pounds!  I can't believe it!  I mean, I have not been going hungry or felt deprived.  The only downside is I've had to buy more food to make sure I have enough and I'm doing more cooking.  But, hey - that's just how it is if we don't want to eat Hamburger Helper or frozen dinners for the rest of our lives.

I went to an adult ballet class and it was SO much fun!

Atkins Induction

I'm on Day 2 of Atkins Induction!  I'm super excited about this.  The more I read this book, The New Diet  Revolution, the more I am convinced that this is a good fit for my metabolism at this time in my life.  My Jenny Craig success stemmed much from learning to volumize with non-starchy veggies, which is totally cool on Atkins!  I eat WAY too much sugar - in all its forms!  It's certainly not what I thought Atkins was years ago.  It just goes to show that we are all on a journey and we see things differently as we learn our own bodies and how they work - including their tendencies in regards to weight loss.

So - Day 14 will be on January 10th!  My starting weight is 224.

I found lots of super easy recipies on www.sugarfreesheila.com if you are interested.

Food is not your friend

I deliberately kept "your" as friend.  Holidays with family, especially the elder of our little tribe, is always a stark reminder of the importance of self-care.  I have one Uncle who takes excellent care of himself.  He is in his 70's and he is amazing.  Outside of that, most in my family start seriously deteriorating by the time they are 40.  I'm so not kidding.  Obesity is a big issue along with Chron's disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and back problems.    Everyone gave my son sugar all day.  This morning is was eggs, cheese, and turkey bacon for him!  No sugar or crackers today despite the forthcoming protests.

It is days like these when I'm reminded why I lost weight, why I need to continue to lose weight, and why self-care if paramount to be there for others in our lives, not only ourselves.  When I'm not around these reminders, I circle the drain of my internal world where I tell myself it's not a big deal to eat five chocolate chip cookies for dessert or who cares if I'm not hungry and I eat anyway.  It's a big deal.   It is a VERY big deal.

When my back is hurting so badly I can't exercise - it's a BIG deal.

Change the internal message of self-care important and the mirror will change.

Catholics?

Hey, are there any Catholics out there and loving it?  I'm rediscovering my faith and I would like to meet more of you so I can bug you and ask questions!!

I thought he was going to eat it!

(sigh)
I've upped my walking program thanks to cooler weather and the FANTASTIC walking mp3's from www.kathysmith.com  They don't play around.  I've been doing some SERIOUS, hard core walking and it feels GREAT!  I'm walking between 2.3 and 3.2 miles per mp3 and at a very quick pace.

Anyway, I was so hungry last night.  I open the freezer and suddenly the very little pie that I'd been passing up for MONTHS was still sitting there.  I bought it for my husband, those Edward Pie Singles.  I ate it.  Bummer.  Oh well. 

Shows me - don't buy the stuff.  I can't eat what is not in my house.

Self-Sabatoge

There are two ways I sabatoge myself.
Overspending and Overeating.

There is nothing worse than having a month that I feel I've worked my tail end off, only to not have any $$ to cover things and having gained a pound.  What's up with that?  That's not the stuff they really cover in most diet programs, now is it? 

I'm so mad at myself this morning for spending too much money last month! UGH!  It's a lot of little things...not big purchases.  We have the BEST budget ever, but I overdo it on the money left after the bills are paid.  No credit card issues, thank goodness.

One positive note is that my grocery budget is the lowest it had been since June!  Now, that is a good thing.  It's the superfluousness spending that hurt me.  $5.00 here and $10.00 there.

Cancer Policy