Yesterday, in a "what am I going to do today" mood I pulled into the movie theatre to drown myself in buttered popcorn and a sucky remake "No Reservations." Oh please, as if Catherine Zeta could compare to the German original version I saw via Netflix.
Thanks to a friend's phone call, I changed the direction and got back in the car and proceded to stop by every botique between the theatre in my house. I tried on about six pairs of shoes at different stores, about twelve shirts, and lots of fun!
We were talking about numbing out. Using something to simply not think - but that "something" causes more harm than good. If I would have eaten all the popcorn at a movie I really didn't want to see I would have been settling. Settling for whatever when I give to everyone else my very best. I need treat myself as well as I treat my work relationships and family connections.
I am learning that XL is now my size, at least in most stores, NOT ALL, especially botiques. Try everything on people! :-)
I am 226.5 today. This is extra special for two reasons. I have never weighed in at 226 before and 226 means 80 lbs. down! WHEW! This means only 6 lbs. left to make goal!!!!
I am very happy today because I was 227 this morning. That is 7 short pounds away from goal. I am also happy for ashleyb (Step Inside If You Care) who has announced her gestation on her blog! I would also like you to meet a girl who has really inspired me as we both did JC and our starting goal was within ten pounds of other and she has made her goal, http://www.extrapounds.com/blog/entropy/
Because of a picture, I got the focus I needed. I added it to my second photo album. It was taken in early May 2007, this year. The disheartening thing about it was that I was so happy in the outfit because it was a size 18. But, as usual, my sense of self is so skewed that I could not see that I was still overweight until this picture came into my life this week. This picture reminded me that I am NOT where I want to be yet!
My trainer asked, "How's my weight?" I told him the same. I think he was disappointed. I felt anger inside of me but I am going to try to look at this from a different perspective. He is pouring in to me his wisdom, good humor, and workouts three days per week. It is like with my students - if I pour into them and they don't practice, yes, it is disappointing and ultimately, not to their benefit in a real noticable way.
I am going to pretend I am the student this week. The student of my trainer and the student of my consultant. I am going to do what I ask my students to do all of the time. Do it evenw hen you don't feel like it. Make the choice to support your education even when it is inconvenient.
Score for me last night! I had my JC pasta fagoili and instead of the normal sweet tooth disaster that has become my nightime ritual - I had some 25 calorie swiss miss hot chocolate. YIPEE!
I love and approve of myself. I complete things. I continue to support myself, no matter what.
Well, I guess you could say I am on auto-pilot. It's pretty hard to think about weight loss all of the time, but I am doing ok. I probably will not lose this week, but I have had a lot of fun this week. I am taking things as they come, but still trying to be mindful of the process of weight loss.
I was wondering yesterday how long I will be in weight loss mode. I would love reach my goal of 220 by September, the end of the summer. I have been in weight loss mode since November 2005. My first consultant would always say just buckle down and freakin' do it! Yeah, she was right. I know I am drawing out the draining process, of weight loss. Lately I have been binging on cool whip. Yesterday was a huge awakening. I ate a container of fat free cool whip in one day. Did you know that is 375 calories? I freaked out! I was mistakenly thinking, "Hey this food is almost free! Cool Whip is 15 calories for two tbsp."
My consultant sent me a 1200 calorie menu to follow and I stuck in on the fridge. I know, deep in my heart, that 1200 per day is what I need to do to get to 220. The weight training is shaping my body and keeping me from gaining. Unfortunately, it is not helping me lose because I am not eating LESS I am eating MORE.
My Mom really pissed me off the other day too. People in my life are talking to me like all my problems with food are gone and I don't struggle because I have lots 70 something lbs. My Mom was cutting down the weight loss battle of her friend. She and my sister were mocking her for being unsuccessful on Weight Watchers. They couldn't tell she had lost any weight depsite her having told them she lost 20 lbs. Then they had the audacity to gossip about what she ate at a bbq!!!! Needless to say, I had heard enough. And we overeaters wonder why we feel like crap sometimes?
A big hug to all of my blog friends. You guys are going through the same feelings, emotions, and pulls towards food that seem unexlainable. I offer not only to myself, but to you, no judgement. Love yourself today; really love yourself. I am worth taking care of and so are you.
Even if you have had the breakfast scramble, eat it again because it is freakin' awesome.
If they say it is limited - they mean it. Order lots of it if you like it
The consultant calls keep me going and keep me in check. It is nice to have a person calling just about my weight which is a huge part of my life.
I got the Jenny Rewards and it has rewarded me. My food is 30% off right now and will go to 35% when I reach maintanence, which hopefully will be in my lifetime.
JC is not for everyone, and that is cool. It works for me.
Learn how the exchanges work if you want to understand how the JC thing works and wean yourself from the food
I am so past and beyond ready to get to my goal. I can't even begin to explain the emotions I have been going through. Ashley - I can totally relate to you darlin'! I have just been wanting to eat things that I rarely crave or have stopped craving. Is this some kind of mind backlash? I don't know. Or, maybe I am just relaxing a bit and "enjoying" things? Oh shucks, who am I kidding? Eat like I did before and I get the way I was before.
This summer has been very busy for me mentally. I am learning new things that I absolutely love, but at the same time, I feel drained alot. I always seem to find a reason to shortcut my relaxation time, and the improtance of it. I am not really sure why that is, but I do.
I love and approve of myself. The real Stephanie, no matter what.
Yesterday I had some mac & cheese and caramel popcorn. This would not be considered "weight loss portions" of food. I am sora ok, but not really, with it. I have so few pounds to go, but the thing is, by the time one is at this point, you have to really keep cutting calories to get to your goal weight. My consultant that for most people, the first 50 lbs. comes off quickly and then it tapers. Yes, it really does taper. I love my new size and body but I am having to really work at not being hard on myself. Like the touchstones CD says, "All or nothing thinking is not a characteristic of a healthy weight loss mindset."
You guys are going through the same feelings, emotions, and pulls towards food that seem unexlainable. I offer not only to myself, but to you, no judgement. Love yourself today; really love yourself. I am worth taking care of and so are you.