Today Day 3

I woke up this morning and got down on my knee's and "decided" I can do this again-just for today. I asked for help and guidence throughtout my day; "I just need to make it till 12:00; (yeah! I did) ; then till 5:00 and then again till 10:00 and then hit the hay." Those goal periods are for me to count my points and not get sucked into an eating frenzy somewhere along the way. Baby steps right now....slowly slowly bit by bit, step by step. I have to spoon feed myself and change my life and my habbits. I "have" to because I can not live like this anymore. Feeling like a stuffed pig, can not move around well, constant heart burn (which FINALLY on day 3 is beginning to go away). It is like I am detoxing from all this overload of food and constant eating.

Well Here I go AGAIN!!! Day 2 (April 9)

I have so many sites to check and was wondering where this blog went....I finally found it. I began WW on Monday the 8th and just completed day 2. At least I made it! Thanks to my friend Jean who invited me to go Monday night. I was in a disbelieving state.

So it came down to the fact that I must DECIDE to lose weight. Well since I feel like that everytime I join up somewhere I was a bit hesitant. So-my leader said to just decide for this week. I left feeling that I could do this for a week. On the morning of day 1 I decided that I need to decide to do this "just for today" and that each day I will make that decision for each day. And each week at my meeting I will decide for the coming week. Day by day , bit by bit...when I think ahead to how great I could look if only I could stick to whatever plan of the minute I am on; then I tend to quit.

So here I am. Decided I could do it for today and I did!

Oh S...it I did it again

I keep going from blog to posting and I just wiped out my long note here on my blog! Why can't we cut and paste here!!!!?

Anyway....down 1.8 yeah....total of 5.6 lbs GONE.

T.O.M.  last week brought much needed sanity and a better outlook for me.

I CAN do this 1 pound at a time in the right direction.

Stuck stuck stuck.....

I am in a crappy place right now. Starting over today for the millionth time this summer.  My light bulb moment today is the fact that I don't think I can do this.

I'll re-read some of my posts; I saw the one labeled what a difference a day makes but wanted to write while being so blah and then read it to buck up.

I guess that is my focus right now. Just a few days and see how you feel.

I don't know why I am so addicted to food and can't seem to get into shape again. I know what to do and I am not doing it. I know, I know.............at least I am trying again as of today.

I don't care but I do care. I feel gross and huge and unattractive.

First Weigh In!

Yippe! I am heading in the right direction...down in lbs!

It has definitly been a struggle so far too. I am so use to basically eating all the time and feeling full. I am satisfied for the most part and not real hungry physically; but emotionally at times I just want to throw in the towel. I think "I have way too far to go so why bother" OR "I did well today I lost weight so I can pig out since I don't weigh in again for a week".........at least this first week I have not given into those "inner conversations",  I am becoming familiar with those since I know that is part of my usual downfall. Not to say it will never happen but I don't want to be so out of control with food again for such a long period of time as I have been these last few years. I want to learn to catch myself earlier and get back on track. I am already planning in my head to "do week 1 again" on Jenny when you notice even just a few pounds creep back on-get right back on track with a few pounds to lose not 60!

I am proud of myself and taking one day at a time. Sometimes I even have to break up the day ex) "it's 12:00-I've made it half way through the day" OR it's 3:00 and not long till a snack and then dinner.

I also heard today that doing art or getting lost in something you love can help weight loss. So far I have modge podged a notebook cover, decorated with glitter glue and painted some flower stencils. I have not even thought about food while being totally involved in something outside myself. Plus I have not done anything like this in years and it feels so good.

I can zip my jeans!

3 full days on program and I am wearing the jeans I could barley zip up on Monday! (day before day 1....)

I FEEL so much better too. In a good mood, more patient and fun loving in general.

What a difference a day or two or three makes!

My motivation on day 1 that I wrote down was "no more indegestion". By the night of the first day I felt so much better and have had no indegestion since.

I am feeling great and determined to just stick to JC food espcially for the first 21 days. I have always heard it takes 21 days to form a habit so here I go. I was planning to dive right into exercise along with the first week but I have a lot going on having been out of town prior to this week. I feel good about that and just want to get into the groove of the food and my "schedule" for eating small meals throughout the day.

I love the water bottle! It has beens so easy to get my water in every day and then even lots more! It is a success that I write down and feel good about at the end of each day. I don't feel good at all about how I look and it really is rather shocking now that I see myself up on line! So in order to feel good till I look good I am looking for whatever successes I have each day.. It feels great to check off on my menu as I eat what is portioned for that meal and by the end of the day to see that I have followed it.

I told myself I just have to get through the first 3 days and I will feel so much better and I do! It is 1/2 way through day 3. I am trying not to fast forward 3 months and just keep this one day at a time.

The day before day 1!

Just got back from Jenny , weighed in and was 3 lbs. more than I thought I was. I don't ever want to see these numbers on the scale again. My friend Jean and I went in together and tonight we are going out to dinner with our respective families to have "the last supper". I was so glad that the frosted cinnamon buns were waiting for me when I got home. This is it. I organized all my Jenny food and am looking forward to tomorrow and then next week to see the scale begin to move downward. I don't want to look to far ahead; I want to take this one day at a time, 1 meal at a time and 1 pound at a time. I really just want to get back in control of how I look and feel!

I told the Jenny counselor that when I hit 160 that is when I will need help. I have not seen the 150's in years. I tend to feel good and get compliments once I hit the 160's and I want to be able to rejuvinate and be enthusiastic about keeping going to goal. 130's..........

Anyway. I am back. Glad to have my own personal chef named Jenny and glad to just look at a menu; pull out the food and be able to check off my list what I have eaten. There is not much prep to speak of and portions done for me. I need that portion awareness since I don't seem to have an off button of my own.