Yesterday I weighed in only to discover I have finally hit the 35 pound mark.  I am very excited!  I went shopping for a new dress for my brother's wedding, and instead of needing a 22, I bought an 18 (it could have been a 16 but my boobs are still too big!).  Two other shirts I bought were 14/16 and a pair of pants I tried on were 14/16 as well.  I do most of my shopping at Lane Bryant because besides being overweight, I am almost 6 feet tall.  So many manufacturers think fat people are short, but that is so not true!  Lane Bryant carries my size pants in tall, exactly what I need.  I had a great time at the wedding and I thought I looked great.  I am about half-way to my goal and everything so far has been great.  School is almost over this year and I look forward to dropping even more weight this summer and surprising everyone when we go back in August.  My husband is very happy, although he might not be so thrilled when I need a complete new wardrobe! 

I also wanted to add Happy Mother's Day to all you beautiful mommies out there!

I have a lot of weight to loose.  It's hard to see the 22 pounds that I have lost.  Others have noticed but truthfully, I can't see it yet.  Oh, I am still working toward my goal, taking my pills, and watching what I eat (most of the time).  I've been eating chocolate like mad, though.  I blame it on being a girl, but really, I can't survive without it!  It's been really hard to drink enough water, too.  HEB has really good flavored sparkling water and that helps some, but I know my lack of water consumption could be hurting my weight loss.  My brother is getting married in 3 weeks, so my goal is to be down 30 pounds total by then.  I got my 15 pounds lost reward today, a utensil canister I've wanted for the kitchen.  At 25, I am getting a new drawer organizer for the silverware.  I guess I'll add a new outfit for the wedding at 30 pounds!  My husband will be none the wiser!  Weekends are the hardest.  My husband likes to make sausage gravy, biscuits, bacon and buttermilk pancakes every weekend.  I'll enjoy a little and make sure I get on the Wii Fit tomorrow!  So with that, I'm off to hit 30 pounds...then I'll only have 40-50 pounds left!  Piece of cake...as long as it's chocolate!

I will be celebrating my first month on my journey to being healthy this week.  So far I have lost 19.5 pounds.  That's a lot, I know, but because I started with quite the extra baggage, it's hard to see a difference yet.  My clothes may feel a little looser, but that's about it.  I will be seeing my best friend this week and we haven't seen eachother since February.  I think she'll notice, after all, that's her job :)  I feel good, though.  I haven't been eating much at all.  That's a big deal for a food addict like me.  My dad took me and my sons to Dairy Queen last night.  I did get some ice cream.  I couldn't resist a Midnight Truffle Blizzard, but I got a small one and couldn't finish it.  That, my friends, is an accomplishment.  I need to get better at drinking water, though.  I'd rather not drink anything than water and I think I've been dehydrated the past few days.  I got some flavored water that isn't too bad and some carbonated water that my doctor said was okay so at least I'm trying!  I have to keep reminding myself that I live in the real world and things are going to come up and that it's okay to have ice cream or pizza once in a while, just not every day.  I'm getting there.  I know that I won't drop 20 every month, but I'm in it for the long haul.  My goal weight gift to myself is a hunting trip with my husband, so I hope to reach 180 my deer season!  Until then, one day at a time and one pound at a time to a healthier me.

So, I know you aren't supposed to reward yourself with food, but I am making an exception.  I've done really well over the last 10 days with the food part, but I have been sporadic at best with the working out.  SO...I made a deal with myself that I have to do at least 30 minutes on the Wii Fit EVERY DAY until next Friday and my husband and I can go to Chili's.  I LOVE Chili's with a passion, and I have a gift card.  I can do good there...but I am not bypassing the chips and salsa!

I hit the -10 pound mark today.  I am excited and proud.  However, I haven't been feeling great the past few days.  I am afraid I haven't been eating enough and my body is protesting.  I think I am going to have to review what I've been eating and try to tweak my diet this weekend so that I don't end up sick.  Now that the diet is actually working, I am afraid to eat!  I don't have a middle ground with food.  I either eat anything I want with no reservations - that's how I got up to 265 - or I watch every calorie, fat gram and carb.  I'm in no way giving up, I just have to make some minor adjustments!  A positive attitude goes a long way when it comes to weight loss!

I should feel great about my progress.  I've lost 8 pounds in a week.  I've stayed under 1000 calories and I've drastically cut back on sodas (two a week).  I've been working out every other day for about 30 minutes.  It's a start.  I've got about 72 more pounds to loose.  I did decide that at the -15 pound mark, I get the utensil caddy I've wanted for my kitchen.  I think that I'll work on redecorating my kitchen as I reward myself for weight loss.  I did get my husband to agree that if I get to 180, my goal weight, that I can get the tattoo I've wanted for a while.  I a little one already, and he's not a huge fan, but he's supportive!

Today I just feel crappy.  I really want a cheeseburger.  I think it's stress and hormones, but I still want a cheeseburger!  I was bad the other day and bought myself a cookie for after my weigh-in, but I gave it to my husband instead and just had a little taste.  I have noticed that small bites of things make me happy and I don't feel like I am totally going without.  So if anyone gets a burger today, I'll just take a little bite! Please??

Here we go, again.  I've never been this heavy.  I like to blame my two pregnancies, a husband who can eat anything and not gain a pound, and my job (I'm a teacher), but when reality sets in I see that I am lazy and I am killing myself.  I have battled with weight my whole life.  I was able to loose 35 pounds before my husband came back from tour in Iraq, but that was easily put back on by his love for meat and potatoes.  Now it's a whole new ball game.  I've got a plan, I have support from my friends and family, and I have a Wii Fit to help with the exercise part that I hate, so now the only thing that is stopping me is my love of food.  I guess I have to love myself more.  That's not an easy task.  I give all I am to my kids, my husband, my friends and students, so I justify the chocolate, fast food, and ice cream as my reward.  My REAL reward now has to be a healthy person, inside and out so that I am a better mom, wife, friend and teacher.  So here we go...ready for the change but scared to death of failure.