Why?
Do you talk about things when you dont know if that's what you really want anyway?
On our holiday I kept bringing up marriage with the boy. Now, i love him to bits and still get flutterbies in my belly everytime i see him even though we've been together for 2 1/2 years. But i'm 22, and the idea of me being engaged at 22 bloody scares me.
So, why do i keep bringing up the topic with him? why do i always talk about our wedding, or basically ASK HIM why he hasnt proposed to me yet? We were sitting in Nandos (of all places) on our holiday, and i was grumpy for some reason. And i basically straight out asked him why he hasnt popped the question. Me rambling on about how i know he's the one for me and i wanna be with him forever, and blah blah blah.... and me not understanding why you wouldnt marry someone when you know for sure you want to be with them (as he says he does). Like, what stops you?
He told me that money was an issue ... wanting to buy me a nice ring and stuff. I straight out told him that was a cop out - and i kind of think it is, but i said it a bit harshly. I said to him that i wouldnt care if he popped the question with a $2 ring from a vending machine.
But, why do i hassle/ask/talk about marriage, if i dont even know thats what i want to do right now? I want to travel and have fun. We live together anyway, so it's not like i dont get to see him.... I just dont get it. I dont understand why i always bring it up. GRRRRRRRRR.
Maybe it's a security thing. I've also never been self concious or insecure until this relationship. It has nothing to do with him, he's sweet and lovely and beautiful and i trust him completely. It's a me thing. But still... maybe it's a me thinking that he'll never run away if i get a ring, which i know on the thinking part of my brain is utter crap. Hello? look at the divorce rate.
Anyone offer any advice?
Went to the gym yesterday which was great. Had fun - my knee was a bit sore though, think from all the impact of netball on Sunday. Might take a bit of a break from the high impact for a bit. I was going to go for a run at the gym tonight (well, actually really WANTED to), but i think i'll get my tax done instead - fingers crossed the government will give me lots of money back!
Oh, and my new food discovery - steam fresh vegies. I've always been a bit anti frozen vegies because i dont feel like they're as fresh. I was wasting a lot of vegies in my fridge though. I thought i'd buy a packet of the steam fresh to give it a go. OHMYGOD they taste just like real vegies. And, for a timepoor me, it means i dont have th chop them up, the sachets are already portioned out... i just whack them in the microwave for 3 1/2 minutes. Loveit, definitely going to be part of my weekly staples.
I ate pretty well yesterday - fat was around 47.2 grams and i'm meant to be around 44 - so about 3 grams over. I ate about 100 calories under my reccomended intake, but i wont die from that.
I ate:
- Fibre plus ceral (158) Banana (80) Skinny milk (78)
- Ravioli (209 Alfredo sauce (132)
- Steamed fresh vegies - cauliflower, carrots, beans (35)
- Butternut pumpkin (9)
- 100g chicken drumsticks (240)
- Carmans muesli bar (197)
- Ski Yoghurt (186)
- Real McCoy Popcorn (101
- Total: 1426