galoob galoob.

Somehow, some strange how, I am down another 2 pounds. This is very strange indeed. I've basically stopped caring, and the weight comes off. Haha.

Babes went back to Paris last night, as he had teaching to do tomorrow, so the cheese stands alone again. I am ok though, I have a lot of work to do on this new and final project, so have to get some work done. I can't seem to focus though, the project isn't really speaking to me. Maybe I should just re-format it. It's sort of becoming really annoying.

Buh anyway. My jeans are still making a muffin top, which is problematic, but I intend to not think about it and hope the weight just comes off of its own accord. One can hope...

I have so much to do, that I don't know where to start. Gahhhhhh.

bride-to-be blues

also, i did some maths. in order to lose the 40 pounds i want by the wedding next summer, its 3 pounds a month to lose. steadily. so i think this is TOTALLY do-able. this has helped relieve my funk today a little.

whew.

mama cherri's soulfood shack, mo'fecka!

Well. SO much for weight loss. I am FINDING it everywhere. We went to Brighton yesterday and I ate the world. Roly's fudge shop? Lemon merengue fudge you say? CHOMP. Mama Sherri's soulfood shack for dinner? Mac and cheese? Lets do it. CHOMP. Choc raisins? CHOMP. Cheddar Cheesecake? CHOMP! Muffins and Gingerbread men? CHOMP. Basically if it was for sale and edible in Brighton, I got it and chomped it.

BUT. Today I am being good. Babes is on the way, in a taxi, and FREE from the tyrannical beaureaucracy (spelling, ha) of Iran and headed towards ME. And a SHOWER. and a CLEAN WARM bed. Poor thing. So since he is here I will not be chomping the world, trying to EAT my emotions.

Also I intend to begin power yoga with Hannah in the evenings. Fun!

I must drink my tea and try not to feel so guilty about yesterday now. Siiigh.

damn it to hell.

DF got held up in transit and was supposed to be here. Now he MIGHT be here on Sunday morning. I therefore scoffed a family sized cadbury's dairy milk with crunchie in it and watched extras and felt like shit after. and i scoffed pick a mix., and like, a whole loaf of bread pratically. god, what is wrong with me??

sooo upon his POSSIBLE arrival on sunday, he will find a bloated pig fiance waiting for him. sigh. i think i might just eat myself to oblivion. OR. try not to obsess about it, and start being really awesomely good and exercising every day and maybe get a personal trainer once school is over (2 months, thank FUCK).

god i just want it OVER. I hate my field, I hate my last project, I hate everyone I go to school with, and I hate my tutors. It's pretty rubbish. I also am sick to death of living in London, but not ever being IN London. I'm sure this city rocks when you have the time to actually ENJOY it, not just rush through it on the way to spend exorbitant amounts on paper for a project that, because the tutor dislikes you, will nt affect your 2.2 grade you feel certain she will give you. Sigh.

Today I am going to Brighton. Will take loads of photos. Lets hope the damn snow holds off for a day.

transexual makeup and roly polys

hewwwww hello there. today is thursday, and i have just blitzed the entire flat ready for babygenius's arrival tomorrow night. i'm about to go out in the garden and light a hig fuckoff fire and burn all the dead leaves and rubbish that the neighbours have let accumulate around the prop. gross. but fun. also maybe i will try not to step on a rake this time. honestly. last time i was out in the garden i did this, whapped myself in the shin, and felt a royal fool.

anyway, jogged this morning, cleaned the house, am going out in the garden. hopefully by staying busy and avoiding food i can get some weight off.

last night han and i went to the park to play frisbee, and ended up PLAYING. actual playing! we were both scared to do a roly poly, but i eventually went for it and realised how FUN they are. so i did five in a row, legs akimbo, covered in mud and grass, and convinced hannah (finally) to do one. then we played around, trying to do cartwheels and handstands in the park, with some chavvy teens looking on from their perch on a nearby bench, and stayed out until it was almost dark. it was so funny, i'm 27 years old, flapping about in the park like a spaz. it reminded me of being little, when we were told to be home before dark, so you would stay out until the laaaast tiny bit of light was available and then scuttle home to get in before your mum got mad. it was lovely!

i'm going to drag a comb through my barnet and get to the green patch of decrepit and neglected earth that we jokingly refer to as a garden.

before i go, hannah and i did tranny makeup last night. look at that fake glow!

egg laying and chili scoffin'

burrrrrrp. i just scoffed a bowl of awesome chili and some cornbread. yum! a well-deserved treat after running this morning, and then cycling to bromley and back, which is like, the hilliest route you could ever ask for. i snuck a peek at the scales this morn, and was chuffed to see i was about 2 pounds down, which i wont count as official but use to spur me on. i ate pretty well today, apart from half a muffin shared with han at starbutts and a caramel iced light latte thing. pff who cared. as long as i am not binging on junk.

in other news, monkey is in iran for his grandad's funeral, and he was detained at the airport for 3 hours. since he is up near the caspian sea at the moment, telephone connection is weak to nonexistant, so i cant get to him with my phone nor he with his to me (is that english?) so news updates are sparse. he should be home tomorrow morning though, hopefully he is safe and can leave the country with no problems. poor guy. i miss him loads. i think on saturday we'll go down to brighton to see mama sharitas soul food shack, this place we saw on gordon ramsey who does catfish goujons. jesus yum. so i have to be good the rest of the week and then scoff there.

been drinking my magical green tea all day, hopefully hydrating more will help shift the weight.

i bought a lovely dress for spain today, so cute. and one with birds on it. for brighton. size 44. yes bebeh. amazing.

can't stop scoffing food...

jesus cripes all bloody mighty. i cannot stop eating, i'm just grazing grazing grazing all day. yuck. i jogged this morning, then blew it by  scoffing dolly mix and bread and loads of japanese candy.

i am jogging tomorrow. this has to stop. GAH what is wrong with me.

day one of jogging in the park

ow.

ow.

ow.

my diaphragm hurts. seriously how is that possible? i was able to do one lap, barely, and then walked the second. how is it i ran a 12 minute mile on the treadmill at home, but when faced with outdoor situation i crumbled. maybe its psychological? or i am just horrendously out of shape. anyway it was ok, apart from the actual physical exertion part, but hopefully in a week it will begin to hurt less.

sigh.

in other news, i tried on several swimsuits at home last night. as you can see, not one fit nicely. god i am hot. this photo has motivated me to carry on losing weight. sorry about it being sideways, i rotated it and apparently my computer is retarded and didn't realise.

it snowed today! in london!

and i frolicked, as you can see:

Ha, a rear view shot. Thanks Hannah. Thunder thighs!

ladies and gentlemen: my babygenius

could he BE any cuter?

Try not to puke at how cute we are. Hahah. Yay!