Walk with me some. . .

A chronicle of one short woman's attempt to fight the fat.

My Profile

  • Name: Trillian
  • City: Woodstock
  • Region: Georgia
  • Country: United States

My Weight Loss

Height: 152.4cm
Start weight: 187.00lb
Current weight: 166.50lb
Goal weight: 155.00lb
Lost to date: 20.50lb
Remaining: 11.50lb

My Calendar

26
May '12
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My Photos

Before After

This is the day

Okay, so I have my big Microsoft certification exam today. I had eggs and grits for breakfast. You know what they say about a good breakfast, it starts the day out right. I'm taking my multivitamin now. I even had one serving of my healthy oils (canola this time) to go ahead and get that in. I added it to my scrambled eggs as they were scrambling. In addition to giving me 1/2 my healthy oil allotment for the day, it also made the eggs not stick to the pan. Yay.

I posted a question on the WW message boards asking if people count the points for their oils. Since I just use the etools, I don't really know all the rules so much. People said they do. I don't get them in very often as it is, I think I'll have it even less if it's going to take up 2 of my precious points for the day. I only get 22 points now, 21 after I lose 1 more pound. I don't think I'm going to count the oils. I get 35 flex points a week that I rarely use, so really it just lowers my flex points to 21. I know it's 6 of one, half dozen of another, but I think it will make me feel better doing it this way, rather than have to use flex points each day for the extra 2 points for oils. I dunno. I guess it doesn't matter as long as the total doesn't go over my allotment . I guess I'm just thinking out loud here.

I was 170.5 this morning. That's up .5 from yesterday. I didn't drink enough water. I'm not going to log that weight. I'll wait and see if it goes back down before carving it in stone. I don't want to drink TOO much water before the exam today. I don't want to be jumping up to pee during it. It lasts 90 minutes.

Good luck to everyone today!

Seems to be working

I got on the scale this morning and I was 170. Yippee! Half a pound from showing 169.5 on my scale. Hooray! My WW friend is already 168 so I have some catching up to do. I'm so excited though. This really motivates me to continue.

I have to go to Chicago July 23rd for some work stuff and I'd like to be in the low 160s by then. The last time they all saw me I was in the 180s. That would be sweet. Not that they really know me at all, but I just want to be my best for my new job. Sometimes I worry that people have stereotypes about fat people, like we're lazy or slow. I don't want to have to fight that right off the bat.

I talked to my sister last night. She said she and Mom had gone off weight watchers the last few weeks. I encouraged her to go back on plan. She said she would. It's so much nicer to have people to talk to about WW. I called her last night to tell her how excited I was that I might be in the 160s soon, but knowing that she's not on plan and not happy about her diet right now, I didn't know if she could be happy for me really or maybe it would make her feel bad. I know she and Mom can do it too. We'll all be thin and svelt together. *smile*

I think when we all lose weight (my sister and Mom and myself) all lose the weight, we should get a nice picture taken of us together. I told Jason the other night that when I lose all my weight I want to go get glamour shots. I know it seems kind of vain, but I want to have kids soon after getting down that low. I know it might be hard to lose it after having kids so I might never look that way again. I'd like to have them to show to my kids when they're adults. Then they can think that Mommy always looked like that. Haha. It makes me think of the Sex and the City episode where Sam got nude pictures of herself. She's a beautiful woman, she might as well capture that while she can, ya know? Makes sense to me. Of course, my pictures won't be nude, haha, but it's kind of the same reasoning.

I'd better get back to work. I have a Microsoft certification exam tomorrow that I need to study for. Good luck to everyone on your weight loss!

Finally

I've been stuck around 172-173 for the last couple of weeks and yesterday I finally hit 171. I'm more confident now about getting under 170 within the next week or so. I've been staying on plan a lot better. I'm very proud of myself. In fact, this morning the scale waivered between 170.5 and 171. Maybe I'll be 170 tomorrow. I need to go to the grocery store and buy more vegetables. I don't really eat a lot of fruits. I don't really like a lot of fruits. I'll have to find some other fruits to eat. Grapes are okay. Apples are okay I guess. Bananas I always end up buying and throwing away. I don't really like them very much.

I feel a little more motivated than I have in the last couple of weeks. I hope I can keep it up.

Part of it might be that the friend I met on the WW site is doing better than I am. She has gone below the 170s already (so I owe her lunch!). I can do it too.

No Changes *sigh*

So I haven't lost any weight in the last 2 weeks. Honestly, I haven't been on plan for the last 2 weeks. I was sick and then out of town a lot. Excuses, I know, but I started being "good" again on Monday. I had gone up to 173.5 and, as of this morning, I am back to 172.

I lost my contest with my friend to see who would get to the 160s first. She is 169.4 or something like that and I'm still in the 170s. She has been so good though, she deserves it. She's so gung-ho about exercising. I just can't get excited about exercise. It's torture for me. I'd rather do just about anything else. I enjoyed when we were playing tennis together because I enjoy tennis and it doesn't feel like "exercise," but just walking as fast as we can for an hour. . . well, it just sucks. I have a treadmill at home and that sucks too. When we played tennis though, she was really sore, thought she had shin splints. I felt bad like I pushed her too hard and she got injured. Now I'm afraid to suggest we play again, but walking is not my thing. We went walking yesterday and she wanted to walk faster and I just couldn't. I felt bad like I was holding her back. She's super motivated and I'm just . . . not. I'm not sure what I should do about that.

I haven't been eating all my points this week either. I'm going to try to eat more points today. Yesterday I was left with 4 points at the end of the day. I had cereal this morning instead of oatmeal, 5 points instead of 3. That should help.

Last night I made some chicken and rice for dinner. My husband doesn't like brown rice so I made brown rice for me and white rice for him. What a pain. I did it though. I wish he would go for walks with me. I wish he would eat the whole grain pasta and brown rice. Instead he just tells me how beautiful I am and how I'm not fat. I guess that's okay. It could be worse. I'm glad I have a husband that makes me feel good about myself. It just means I have to do this for me. I have to learn to be self-disciplined all on my own. I know I can do it.

Air conditioning and trip

So the HVAC repairman is here now. My thermostat is blown, so I need another one of those - $125. Apparently it's a bad fan board that caused this overcurrent that destroyed the thermostat. I'm waiting to hear how much a new fan board costs. Oh, and he doesn't have any of these items with him, so he'll have to come by some time this weekend (when I'm out of town) to replace it. I love my DH, but he really doesn't like to handle these sorts of things. We won't have air conditioning until he can fix it. Okay for me, since I'll be in North Carolina, but big bummer for my husband and dogs which will have to suffer here until it can be fixed. Fortunately, today was a decent day and we didn't suffer TOO much. I'll have to look at the weather and pray that this will be a cool weekend. I guess I'll leave a signed check for DH to pay for the repairs. What a pain. I hope this is it for a/c repairs for a while. We paid $450 last year to replace some enormous thing in the furnace that looked like a small jet engine - and probably costs the same per square inch. Wish us luck.

I'm going to North Carolina this weekend for my niece's 6th birthday party. There will be pizza and cake. I have already decided 1 piece of pizza is okay and I will get a very small piece of cake and only have a couple of bites. Mom and sister and I decided we would make sure we had something to eat beforehand. We're all on weight watchers so we're in this together. My brother told me we're BBQing for dinner, which sounds like hot dogs and hamburgers and maybe (I pray) some chicken. Then there will be chips and beans and corn maybe. If there is no chicken I will have a cheeseburger with no top bun. If there is chicken, I'll have that, no skin. I will eat veggies that are available and if there aren't any veggie sides, I'll have to swipe some hamburger fixings and make myself a makeshift salad. I'm going to do well and not ruin my diet this weekend! We can do it!

Oh, I forgot to add that we're having Lasagna on Sunday. Hmmm, maybe I can head home before we eat that, or have a small piece and look for more salad fixins. I don't want to splurge, it's her birthday, not mine! I was 172 this morning. I really want to be 169 by the end of next week. Yay!

I got sick

My husband got sick last Sunday and I was doing good not getting it, until last Friday. I finally caught his bug. I stayed in bed most of the weekend. Yesterday I weighed 171, I hadn't eaten or had much to drink. This morning I was 172.5. I was really hoping to be in the 160s before this weekend. I'm not sure that's going to happen. Oh well, I'm going to concentrate on getting better. I have some shrimp and salmon to eat for lunch. I think I'll take some DayQuil too.

Feeling better

It seems like I have this roller coaster of being motivated and unmotivated. So the key, for me, seems to be to not ruin all the weight loss I had in the motivated times during the unmotivated times. I feel motivated again! Yay! My weight loss has been pretty stagnant the last couple of weeks. I've been hovering around 173/174. I met another woman on the WW message boards that lives right up the road and whose stats are exactly the same as mine. She is the same age/height/weight as me. Her goal is less than mine but I think that's because she weighed 102 lbs in high school so she knows she can get down that low. I was in the 150s in high school so 128 (my goal) sounds pretty low to me! Anyway, it's nice to talk to someone who is going through the same thing that I am. We met at the park yesterday and played tennis. It was great. I'm hoping we can do that a few times a week. We even came up with a mini competition between ourselves. We've both had trouble getting into the 160s so the first person to get there gets a free lunch from the other person. A little healthy competition never hurt, right?

I stayed on track with my points yesterday and ate lots of fruits and veggies. I earned 3 activity points playing tennis too. I'm very hopeful for this week.

Sidetracked

I get off track so easily. The first 10 lbs came off so quickly. I'm sure it was mostly water weight, but I guess I got a little disappointed that it didn't continue to be easy. I didn't do very well this weekend. I just kind of ate what I wanted and didn't journal at all. I'm going to start journaling again today. My niece's birthday party is the weekend of the 19th, that's just a couple of weeks away. I really wanted to be in the 160s by then. I'm going to commit to exercising at least 3 times a week and stay within my points, no matter what. Hopefully, this will get me to my goal.

Lovely potatoes

Potatoes are, by far, my favorite veggie. I know it's certainly not the best one for you, but I think I'm addicted. Chocolate and potatoes, definitely addicted to both of those. Yesterday I had potato soup for lunch and pierogies (potato filled pasta pockets) for dinner. I went to Ireland once in college. They ate SO many potatoes. It was awesome. Sometimes we'd have two servings of potatoes in one meal. It would be incorporated into the appetizer and entree. It was most excellent.

Good news though. I stayed within my points and they DO count as vegetables (I think anyway), and the scale was down a little today so I don't think I did any real harm.

I hate that so much of my life is consumed with my food choices. When I wake up, I think of what I'm going to have for breakfast. After breakfast, I look at the clock and try to guess what time I'm going to want to eat again. Then I think about what there is to eat in the house and how many points everything is and then I stop thinking about it because it's too early to make any decisions about that when I'm not going to eat just yet. So I try to concentrate on work and end up on the weightwatchers website, reading the message boards about how much water you should drink and where to buy tasty low point foods. Then I think about how much water I've had and realize I should go fill my water bottle to make sure I get my 6 glasses in for the day. It really goes on and on all day just like that. I didn't think about food at all on my road to obesity. I just ate what I wanted, when I wanted. There should be a happy medium. I hope I get there someday.

I think some people don't understand this frame of mind. I think about my thin friends and wonder how they feel about food, how they think about food. Is it so much different from me? How did I end up this way and they ended up that way?

Blogging Day Two

I was one pound heavier on my scale this morning. Realistically, I know that weight fluctuates and that really doesn't mean anything. Emotionally though, it's depressing. The lowest I have seen on the scale lately was 172.5 last Sunday morning. That was before we ordered pizza. I love pizza. It's really sad to think that eating pizza once would make me gain weight. Why is it so hard to maintain your weight, much less lose it? I'm sure my metabolism is all messed up. I need more muscle and less fat, I know. I need to get out and exercise. I need to eat many small meals a day to encourage my metabolism to keep going all day. All easier said than done. I'm working on it though, and I'm going to continue to work on it, til it's done. Then even when it's done, I have a feeling it won't be the end of the struggle.

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