Well, I went in for my weigh in yesterday. I figured that I had gained weight especially with the food escapades I had last week. I was thinking probably 3-5 pounds... but to my pleasant suprise... I only gained 0.8 pound. THANK YOU GOD!! I was stressing about it. Today is a new day and a new week. I can lose the 0.8 plus some! I need to motivate myself. The rainy, blah weather we are having makes it hard for me to get motivated. We need the rain, but ohh how I hate it's affect on me.
My counselor taught me something yesterday. I have been skipping meals when I'm not hungry. I was thinking that if my tummy isn't growling then there is no need to consume extra calories, but I always ate when my body tells me that I am hungry. I thought I was doing myself a service.. but rather I was sabotaging myself and my weightloss efforts. Now, I will be eating every meal that I am suppose to eat whether I'm hungry or not so that my body doesn't go into starvation mode. She taught me to eat lighter when I'm not that hungry especially if I ate a heavy meal prior.
I start my job next week and worried about my meals. My JCC helped me to make a plan. Now, I'm not soo stressed over it. I'm still a little stressed because I have to set and stick to a new routine, but I feel more prepared to take on the challenge. Wish me luck!
I'm wondering what motivates people to work out, eat as planned every day. I'm motivated by the numbers on the scale dropping... pics of the way I used to look... visions of how I will look.... but these are more long term goals that motivate me. Is it good to set smaller/daily goals to motivate yourself? I'm just in search of something new to motivate me, I guess. Well, I suppose I should go ahead and get my exercise in before it gets too late.
So I really went off the plan this past week. *sigh* My brother's wedding was on Saturday and I really thought that I could control myself. I ate as I normally do on the plan BUT the food during the reception was too tempting. My mom made this Korean marinated beef dish called Bulgogi. Oh my... my mouth was watering and my tummy was growling. So, I caved in and got about a cup of it with a cup of white rice, and 1/4 cup of potato salad. I normally would have seconds even third servings... but after that one plate.. I told myself not to over-do it. Then the cake... I had to have some. I asked for a thin slice and enjoyed every bite of it. That evening I felt horrible of my Lack of self-control so I decided then and there that I needed to at least get on the treadmill for damage control.
I don't know what it is... Korean food is my weakness. The next day my mom made this turnip soup with beef and I had to have it. I also worked out more that day to compensate for the extra calories I consumed. This past week was all about compensating and damage control. I am exhausted from it. I can't wait to get back on the plan the way it's suppose to be. I think if I keep trying to compensate that I will burn myself out quickly.
I have been running more this past week. I ran 10 miles in 5 days and my shins are so sore. I think they're called shin splints. I always get these when I run/jog. I don't know what causes it or how to relieve it. It's hard for me to walk without them hurting. Is there a special padding for my shoes to help with this or a special cream to relieve me of pain? I do not plan to jog/run this week. Instead, I am going to head back to the pool and swim for 30 mins everyday.
So... I finally found some stuff that I do like about myself. With the help of fellow bloggers... Thanks by the way! Physically~ I like my brown eyes and hair. I like my nose and lips. I even like my smile. I like the fact that I'm a good mother and wife. Though I did not realize it at the time that I wrote my hate list... I am a strong person. Both physically and mentally. I am enduring separation from my husband while he's fighting insurgents in a foreign country. I am taking care of our household and my child. I am now taking care of myself (which was very much needed). I have accomplished quite a bit within the past 6 months. One accomplishment is obtaining a job that I am thrilled about and looking foward to making a career of. It took some time to figure out that I really do like my friendly personality. I am an easy person to talk to and befriend. I like my honesty especially now that I am honest with MYSELF! I like my sense of humor. It can be dry or raunchy at times.. but it's me. There are probably more but my final characteristic that I like about myself is my determination. I have never been this determined about losing weight as I am now. I'm not aftraid to admit that I may need some support and cheering on though. I can do this. I am doing this. I will continue to do it.
Thanks guys for all your support (and for reading my blog).
I went to my 4th Weigh In today and I am happy to report that I didn't do so badly. I lost 2.2 more pounds making it a total of 10.6 pounds! Yay!! I hit the 10 pound point. I also lost a total of 6 inches. I really can tell that I've lost around my mid section. So you can imagine my thrill.
10 pounds in one month... wow... now if I could keep losing 10 pounds per month. I will definitely hit my goal within 5 months... ahh! That would be wonderful, but probably unrealistic for me. Only time will tell.
I've thought about the things that I do like about myself. I had a really HARD time coming up with things. How pathetic is that? I am sooo unhappy with myself that I couldn't come up with anything except that I am a good wife and mother. So... I'm going to ponder this even more. Perhaps this is something I need to work on.. my own self-worth. I realize that it can not be fixed overnight and that it will take time to retrain my thinking. It's going to be hard especially with no help/support. ugh.
Off to bed....... I'm falling asleep sitting here. G'night all!
First of all... Thanks Tatumsmom for your comment in my previous blog. It really has me thinking. What do I LIKE about myself? I will be pondering this tonight and perhaps make yet another list.
I go in tomorrow for my 4 week weigh in. I believe that I will also be measured to see how many inches I've lost. I'm excited but NERVOUS! I lost weight last week even though it was that TOM. I'm hoping that I have lost even more this week since TOM has ended. I really hope that I will hit the 10 pound mark tomorrow. I've got my fingers crossed.
I see that people set up mini-goals. I'm thinking of doing it also. Perhaps make a 10 pound mini-goal for each month? Would that be unrealistic? I need to drink more water. I hate drinking water. No amount of lemon will ever get me to drink more water. I drink mainly Caffeine Free Diet Coke. I am craving a tall glass of ice cold, sweet tea (southern style). Nothing can substitute for it. ugh.
I have noticed that my slip-ups have been decreasing each week. I am making better choices AND watching portions when I do go out to eat. I went to Smokey Bones for lunch on Sunday and ordered the Garden Salad with dressing on the side. I let my daughter eat the crutons so I wouldn't eat it. Next time I will ask to have a plain grilled chicken breast sliced up and placed on top of the salad. YUM.
I've been getting better about working out. I have even started jogging at 5 mph (12 min mile). Yay!!! I haven't been able to do that in a long while! I'm thinking of getting an mp3 player or something to work out with. I'm tired of trying to flip stations while walking/jogging. Any suggestions? More importantly... what's on your music list? I want music that are upbeat and has that power to make you want to get up and dance! Don't laugh... but I love the song "Don't Cha" by Pussycat Dolls especially while I'm working out. What are your suggestions?
Looking foward to hearing some responses. Thanks!!!
I compiled a list of things that I hated about myself due to my being overweight. I wrote this list prior to starting JC. I wanted to post it here to remind myself of where I am at and where I could still be at if I hadn't took charge of my weight! Here goes:
I hate that my belly rests on my lap. I hate feeling the fat under my skin when I pinch my bicep/triceps. I hate having an acne problem. I hate my double/triple chin. I hate how fat my fingers look. I hate having 4 "love handles". I hate that my boobs are big and saggy. I hate how snug my glasses fit to my face, pushing into the sides of my face. I hate that my back aches and how the curvature of my spine is getting worse b/c of the excess belly weight pulling it foward. I hate that I can't run or jog more than a minute before I'm out of breath. I hate that my ankles hurt when I stand long periods or walk long distances. I hate that it's sooo much effort to bend over to tie my shoes. I hate not being able to wear "cute" clothes but rather have to buy clothes from the plus section. I hate that someone commented that my upper arm is as big as my mother's thigh! I hate the fact that I weigh almost as much as my husband!! I hate my low self-esteem. I hate my non-existant will power. I hate that I look totally different now than I did 10 yrs ago. I hate that I let myself go. I hate that I am never in pictures and that I hate being photographed. I hate how I allow my weight to dictate who sees me. I hate that I avoided trips to visit childhood friends because I'm fat. I hate that I'm following the path to heart disease.
Please God... help me!
I'm sure there are more to the list, but I'm having a hard time recalling. I realize that I have made changes since I wrote the above... and some of it no longer is a problem for me. But this is a reminder for me in the future when I look back at all this.
I have tried losing weight numerous time over the course of 10 years. I think I have taken almost all of the different over the counter diet pills. None of them worked for me because I did not change my eating. In 2004, I was on the Atkins diet and lost 20 pounds. I hated it. I love carbs and totally eliminating them from my menu was hard. It left me feeling resentful even though I did have success on it. I became pregnant later that year and of course gained it all back. January 2007, I signed up for Nutrisystem. I lost 15 pounds in 5 months. Not too shabby, but I ended up gaining it all back plus some when my hubby came home for his 2 week R&R in June. I thought about going back to it, but I found myself eating the same foods every week because there weren't many that I actually liked. So... I looked into other plans and finally decided on Jenny Craig after contemplating it for a good week.
I have finally found the plan that will change my life. I was initially turned off by the cost of the program, but as I am progressing... I am glad that I went through with it. The support has been great. The accountability keeps me motivated and the food is great! Jenny Craig meals are frozen, not freeze dried like that of Nutrisystem. Some JC meals are shelf stable and remind me of NS meals. So, I tend to stay away from those. Overall, I'm pleased with my experience. I had a rough start, but things are looking up and I'm seeing results. Not only on the scale, but in my thinking. I'm learning to appreciate exercise a little more and feel that I am in control of what I put into my body. Yay!
I think my next blog is going to be about the various aspects I hate about being overweight. A nice long list that I can refer back to when I need that extra push to keep chugging along. *sigh*
Thank you to everyone that commented my blogs! It's great to hear that I am not alone in my struggles.. and the words of encouragement are the best! Especially since I don't have a huge support system here at home. That is another blog I'll have to do in the near future. Hope your Saturday is going well.
There are soooo many things that motivate me. However, the most motivating thing for me is to suprise my husband with a new ME!
My husband is in the Army and is currently on his 2nd deployment to Iraq. He comes home early March and I want to shock him. I haven't told him of my weight loss efforts. I have gone through great pain keeping everything to myself. I want to show him that I CAN do it. I CAN LOSE WEIGHT! I want to be the girl he fell in love with 12 years ago. So, hopefully, I can lose enough weight by March to cause the "jaw dropping" look of awe and shock. It makes me really happy and excited just thinking about it. I think of that moment every time I get on the treadmill . *SIGH*
I am also motivated to lose weight because I want to be healthy. I want to be able to run around chasing my daughter without losing my breath. I want to be confident again. I want to look people in the eyes and not worry that they think I'm fat or ugly. My self-esteem and self-worth is non-existent!
My body image is severely distorted. I look in the mirror and think that I look alright. I don't see the roll after roll after roll of fat I'm carrying around. I don't see that my biceps are almost the size of a thigh! Or the double sometimes triple chin I have. My face is round because of fat... no shape/contour what so ever. I look at pictures of me with disbelief. Is that really me? Am I really that big? I just can't believe it.... I see myself in "rose-colored glasses." I finally realized... YES, I AM THAT BIG! That's how people see me!! What a wake up call?! Reality has finally set in. I'm obese and I'm extremely embarrassed.
I had a CT scan done a few months ago and was told that I have a Fatty Liver. I thought... Oh great. I've got a fat liver too? Then I looked into it and discovered that Fatty Liver can cause death! What a scare that was. It was yet another influential factor in my decision to lose weight once and for all.
Being a military family... we have friends throughout the US. I've been invited numerous times to visit, but each time I would come up with an excuse so I wouldn't have to. The real reason I didn't want to go is because I'm ashamed of how big I am and I don't want them to see me this big! I would send pictures, but I had control of how much of me I allowed them to see. My weight kept me from seeing people whom I love and would love to visit and spend time with. I don't want to do this anymore. Our time is ticking away and before long we will be either too old and feeble or dead. I don't want that regret on my shoulders.
And finally... I want to LOOK GOOD!! I want people to notice me because I'm attractive. I want the positive attention. I don't care what anyone says.... thin people are treated better than fat people! I'm tired of being a doormat. I am still young and want to feel young! I turn 30 in April and I want to welcome that milestone with open arms. Wish me luck!
PS~ I would love to make new friends whom I can share my experiences and seek support in times of need so please feel free to add me as a friend. (I'm assuming that's how it's done).
I really did not have a problem with my weight until after high school. I was an active kid growing up and maintained an average weight for my height. A failed pregnancy at the age of 18 led to depression and weight gain. Other factors include lack of exercise/activity to burn all the extra calories I was consuming! I was continually eating the same amount of food as I did in high school, but wasn't compensating with exercise. I settled down to a full time job and marriage which aid in my weight gain. The foods I cooked were high in calories because I made fast, easy meals. I like vegetables, but mainly the starchy ones. I hated salads. I always believed that because I'm half Korean that I would always remain slender because I thought, "How many fat Asians do you see?" Looking at me, you wouldn't even think that I was half Asian (Amerasian).
The highest I ever weighed... 205 when I was pregnant with my daughter in 2004 ((GASP))! How embarassing. I can't believe I let myself get that big! I gained 50 pounds during that pregnancy. I lost 40 of it by nursing, but I was eating for 3 people and continued to do so after I finished nursing! So you can imagine how easily I was able to balloon up to 182.
I've tried numerous diet pills and a couple diets, but I think I have finally found the plan that will forever change me. I joined Jenny Craig on September 21, 2007. What a great day it was. I am sick of failing and failing with each weight loss attempt. Jenny Craig's plan has given me hope that I CAN lose weight!! I was turned off by the cost of the program, but I am seeing results and it makes up for the cost. Finally a plan that I can stick to and one that works and provides results. No more looking for a new diet.
As you can see from my weight loss graph. I am almost at the 10 pound mark. I am looking foward to reaching it and surpassing it. *SIGH* I just wanted to post something on here. My next blog will list my motivations to lose weight. I have so many things running thru my mind. I need to sit down and organize it all before posting it in a blog. I'm just really excited.
It took some time to figure out that I really do like my friendly personality. I am an easy person to talk to and befriend. I like my honesty especially now that I am honest with MYSELF! I like my sense of humor. It can be dry or raunchy at times.. but it's me. There are probably more but my final characteristic that I like about myself is my determination. I have never been this determined about losing weight as I am now. I'm not aftraid to admit that I may need some support and cheering on though. I can do this. I am doing this. I will continue to do it. 
one week at a time....