Shrinking Butt, Expanding World

I want to finally put an end to the up and down yo-yo dieting.

My Profile

  • Name: stefinity
  • City: Spencer
  • Region: West Virginia
  • Country: United States

My Weight Loss

Height: 160.0cm
Start weight: 190.00lb
Current weight: 193.80lb
Goal weight: 140.00lb
Lost to date: -3.80lb
Remaining: 53.80lb

My Calendar

May '15
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My Photos

Before After

new again

I weighed 200 pounds this morning....2 years ago I started here on EP weighing in at 190 pounds... so why does my weight log say that I've LOST 10 pounds???  Hmmmmm....
Oh, Hi!  I'm Steph and I'm new here... again.
I never know what else to do when I realize I need to buckle down once again and start trying to lose a few pounds.  I have nowhere else to go... no place else where I am totally accepted for being a failure... so I come here. 
So here I am at 5'3 and 200 pounds....

what to say when you have nothing to say

This time around I am determined to come here to my blog and write even when I have nothing to say.  I think it's important to my process of change....
Often I think of this place as a blog to write FOR others and to INSPIRE others... and that's true, in part.  But I need this for ME as well.... I need to make myself come here and blog my feelings, .... my ups and downs... successes and failures... so if nothing else, I can have a record.  It will help me remember later what worked and what didn't.  It is a log of my success most of all... because no matter how many little set backs I have, I'm SO going in the right direction...
Anyway.... as I was saying... I have nothing to say today!  ha ha
Seriously I almost didnt' write this morning because I had a bit of a bad day yesterday.  I don't WANT to record negative stuff here... I want to be positive every day for everyone else!  I want you all to see how GREAT I'm doing...
But yesterday was a day of minor set-backs.... I snacked a bit much and ate a few things that were strictly forbidden (mmmm... FORBIDDEN FOOD!... haha)... Actually I shouldn't say they were forbidden, because my new way of looking at this is that nothing is forbidden... I just have to plan and allow for all that goes in my mouth.  THAT'S what I didnt' do yesterday.  I just ate and ate some major calories..... for the heck of it.
The good news is that I MADE myself go to the gym for a 30 min quick cardio session last night.  It was later than I like to go -- 7:30... but I went.  I hadn't been to the gym since Thursday of last week (seriously couldn't help it --- booked up with other obligations)... and I think the lack of exercise can be blamed for my waning motivation in the diet department as well.  Exercise is so important for not only physical well-being, but spiritual and mental as well! 
So here I am blogging this morning... admitting my failures for all to see.  Most importantly though... I'm admitting to myself. (because MYSELF knows that bingeing and hiding it does NOT do me any good whatsoever... we've been there and done that!)
Guilty as charged!...
Back on track this morning though.
Happy Humpday!


This is the BEST I've done for the longest period of time!
I'm sure MANY MANY people here on EP are yo-yo dieters.  I'm sure many have been successful at losing in the past.  If you're like me, you've lost the same weight over and over again. 
As you know I'm a part of a group of 16 others in my town who are taking part in a Biggest Loser challenge.  A few people in the group are veterans at weight loss (and gains!) as I am...... this is my 3rd attempt at Weight Watchers..... but some of the people are brand new to this.  We're not doing any "official" program or agenda, but we are basically meeting once a week to weigh-in, and we are supporting each other, going to the gym together, and having a fun competition that will hopefully help us lose weight!  At our weekly meetings, we share problems, concerns, questions, successes, and tips. 
What I'm finding out is that most of the people are cutting out food groups completely..... one person is eating only salads.  He says he cannot eat what he calls "trigger" foods at all.  These trigger foods include almost everything I consider good..... bread, sweets, pasta (even whole wheat), peanut butter, cereal, crackers (he named lots of stuff!)... Another person swears to never touch sweets for the rest of her life. 
I guess everyone is different, and I'm sure that there ARE trigger foods for some people.  But for me, I've found that I'm being successful THIS time by seriously thinking of food as FUEL for my body.  Since I've been working out so hard, my body needs to be refueled to work properly.  Even though a fat-free hotdog and baked chips and a WW snack cake may only be a few points for lunch, what good would it do my body?  NONE whatsoever.  In the past I would chow down on low fat processed "snacks."  THAT is what I am vowing to cut out.  I've been off that stuff for so long now, that the thought of eating a fat-free bologna sandwich is sickening to me. 
A typical day for me now consists of:
Breakfast:  Kashi Cinnamon Harvest cereal, skim milk, banana
Snack:  string cheese or Fiber One yogurt
Lunch:  Naturally More peanut butter with apple slices, cherry tomatoes, cheese, yogurt
Supper:  I always fix a healthy dinner including vegetables, and frequently beans.  We often have a mixture of pinto beans, black beans, garbanzo beans in a vegetarian chili.... and I almost always have something green... such as a fresh salad or cooked greens.  We frequently have lean meat or chicken for protein.  I have been very careful in my meal planning so that I have FILLING foods that will fuel my body.
It's working. 
WW weigh-in tonight.... I'll update later. 
Have a great day!

17 years ago ......

Seventeen years ago today something amazing happened and my life would be forever changed......
I became a mother. 
I posted something very similar to this last year on this day.... and I just went back and read it with tears in my eyes.  What a difference a year makes.  Last year at this time he did not have his driver's license, and he did not know everything, and he still talked to me......
This year... well, at he's 17 going on 50 because he knows it all.  His friends are his world.  He forgets he has a mother .....
Oh how I love that child.  Kyle Thomas.... 
Seventeen years ago at this very moment I was lying in a hospital delivery room scared out of my mind and in PAIN... waiting for something truly remarkable to happen... waiting to become a mother.  It happened at 12:32 in the early afternoon.  I didnt' know what I was having, but for some reason I thought he was going to be a girl.... but he surprised me... a little boy.  7 lbs 3 oz, 21 inches long, beautiful and healthy, dark hair.  OMG this little baby would change my life forever and ever.
I remember just looking at him and marveling at his beauty... I couldn't believe I could do something so right, so perfect.  I used to hold him close to me and just smell him, breathe in his soft baby goodness.  I still remember what his little head felt like against my cheek. 
I've made a lot of mistakes over the years.....
He was a fierecely independent toddler and child, and I was thankful for that....
Now he's a fiercely independent teen, and I'm not sure I like that.
This is supposed to be a reflective post about my baby, so I won't go into the details about his father, who he chooses to live with because there are no rules and regulations.... I won't get into that.. I just want to remember this day 17 years ago and talk about how much I love him...
I did talk him into coming to my house this evening for cheeseburgers -- his favorite meal --- and birthday cake. 
He's so tall and dark haired... he's beautiful.... I love him so much.
I pray for his safety.... I pray he'll someday come back to me.
Happy Birthday Kyle Thomas from the person who loves you most in all the world. 

and the biggest loser is.....

drumroll please.... da .da..dadadadadada.......
Steph is the biggest loser!
I lost 4 pounds! 
And I was THE biggest loser at tonight's weigh-in!  I've lost 9 since we started the biggest loser contest four weeks ago!  And I've lost 18 pounds since I started WW.
 I feel good! 


No school again today.... this makes 16 snow days so far this year!... wow!  Three snow days this week, three last week, and one the week before that!
This has been a winter to remember... the kind of winters we used to have when I was a kid. 
Well, I'm down a pound since I last posted my weight... official weigh-in is Monday though.  Tonight IS my Biggest Loser weigh-in, however.  I definitely lost since last Thursday... hopefully I'm down 3.
I am glad I'm off work today ... have a big day on the agenda. 
Will post more after my weigh-in tonight.... get ready for GOOD news!

I'm losing it!!!!

ok... so my body is starting to work the way I think it should work!!  I'm down 4 pounds to 184.5!  I've been losing about 1/2 pound a day for the past few days!! 
After being at a complete stand-still with my weight for about 3 weeks, it's finally starting to happen! 
I've not changed anything... I've been fairly diligent about eating within my points allowance.  I've been working out usually 6 days a week.... my workouts consist of 30-45 minutes on the elliptical,....and 3 days a week I do a variety of strength training. 
What HAS changed is my lean muscle mass in my body.  I have added muscle in place of fat... so that even when I'm sitting at home doing nothing I'm burning calories at a faster rate.  Pretty nifty huh? 
I burning calories at a faster rate!!

an unexpected visitor....

He showed up unexpectedly... from out of nowhere.  We knew he'd show up sometime... he always does.  But we didn't expect him to come so early.... and we certainly didn't expect him to stay.  He just hangs around, day after day, like he loves it here!  I'm wondering when he's going home?  Where is his home, you ask?  The North Pole!...
No, our visitor is not Santa... it's Old Man Winter himself... in the flesh.
When he first showed up in November, we were all like, "Cool!... Winter's early!"  He popped in for a quick visit, and then left, and we seriously thought that would be the end of it for awhile....
but he decided to show up again right before Christmas....
He stayed for so long that he ruined all our Christmas plans.  All the churches had to have their Christmas programs in the middle of January, and that was VERY strange!  Christmas Break for the school children was extended... no it was E...X....T...E....N....D....E....D......... the break lasted for an extra week and a half.  It was so long that families were having visions of "bad" things happening to other famiy members....   Brothers wanted to kick sisters... sisters wanted to bite brothers... moms wanted to ship dads off to the China Sea... and dads wanted to be shipped off to the China Sea!!!!
Old Winter liked WV soooo much!  He loved it here!  He loved to freeze all the creeks so the cows couldn't drink and he laughed when the farmers had to break the ice with a hoe.  He loved to blow his frigid breath so the people's chins and noses turned red and raw.  One of his most favorite pastime was freezing and thawing and refreezing so that he created black ice.  He loved watching the people slipping and sliding.  He especially got a kick when people fell in a pile of snow with their good clothes on!!
The school children almost never went to school!  The mothers threatened to send their children to school even when it was closed.  The teachers slept in every day and got lazier and lazier. 
Now the people are wondering when the old visitor would leave.  They wondered WHY he chose to stay.  Would he leave in time for spring break?  Easter?  Memorial Day?  "What about our gardens?" they asked.  "What about our flowers and trees?... What about our family vacations?" 
Old Man Winter blew his friged breath and laughed and laughed until the snow poured from him.  Mothers and children and even the teachers decided to just invite him in and make the best of it.  They drank hot chocolate... with snowman shaped marshmallows, they built snowmen and snow women. They played board games at the kitchen table.  They fixed hot home cooked meals.  They sat by the fire and ... watched it snow.  They watched and watched and watched....
The people decided that as long as Old Man Winter stayed OUTSIDE, he wasn't all that bad.  He could even be quite beautiful. 
The people watched him from the warm houses..... and dreamed of summer....

celebrating Valentines

Dinner and a movie tonight with my sweetie
Early valentine's tonight... just the two of us
Tomorrow we are going to Baltimore to see my step son who is leaving for Iraq on Monday.  So we decided to have a date night tonight.
The best part is ... no kids! 
I will moderately watch the diet.  No bread at dinner, and no popcorn or snacks at the movie.  Our little town theatre runs a little behind on the shows sometimes, so we're watching It's Complicated... I heard it's really good!
Today I am thankful for:
my husband ... I'm sooooo lucky to have found him.  We have the best relationship in the world.  He is handsome, generous, kind, loving, smart, loyal, trustworthy, honest, faithful, witty, true, down-to-earth, cuddly, kissable, snuggly, sexy, sweet. 
I love you Steve Happy Valentine's Day Sweetie

down a pound

Tonight was a hometown Biggest Loser meeting and I was down a pound since last Thursday! ...
Yeah, that's great and everything... a pound lost is a pound lost... but it still seems like I should be doing a little better on my weight loss.  I've lost a pound in 2 weeks, and I've been working out like CRAZY!
Today I did the elliptical for 60 minutes!.. yesterday I did the the elliptical for 45 mintues and did an hour of strength training.  I'm eating within my points range, and I'm NOT losing weight!  I KNOW that muscle is denser than fat, and that muscle takes up less space than fat, so I'm trying to be patient. 
Well, that's all I have for tonight, as I have a major headache... signing off.