Sistah of Size

Musings of Sistah of Size

My Profile

  • Name: Sistahsunflower
  • City: New York
  • Region: New York
  • Country: United States

My Weight Loss

Height: 165.1cm
Start weight: 240.00lb
Current weight: 165.90lb
Goal weight: 135.00lb
Lost to date: 74.10lb
Remaining: 30.90lb

My Calendar

May '15
< May >
          1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30

My Photos

Before After

Body Image...transforming my mind along with my body.

I came across an interesting post today, where a member who is very close to her goal is struggling not with the number on the scale, but how she feels about the way her body looks. This isn't the first time I have heard people who have lost an extreme amount of weight express concern about their goals.  One person who responded quite aptly stated goal weight doesn't always equal ideal body.   So how does one become satisfied, and happy with their body, despite weight?

I had a freak out about 2 months ago over the same issue.  I googled all these pages about what happens with loose skin after weight loss, how to mitigate it, how to get rid of stretch marks, batwings...etc.  At one point I was actually considering stopping weight loss all together if  "the twin sisters" kept deflating!!  I am not big on plastic surgery or any procedure that causes pain or downtime, yet and still here I was, pricing tummy tucks.  I was needlessly scaring myself.

Eventually I calmed down and realized that I wasn’t done attaining my goal, and couldn’t judge yet how I was “going” to look.  In fact I hear that it takes about a year after maintaining goal weight for the skin to snap to, and firm up.  I acknowledged that I had to come to terms with the fact that yes, though I am healthier than I've ever been, and thinner than when I was in college, I also have stretch marks, extra skin, and gravity "issues".  The physical road map of my life was permanently etched on me, like tattoos, and they weren’t blemishes but marks of honor.   These ARE NOT FLAWS.  It is so important to understand that the idea that these should be hidden or faded is “sold” to us by a media that on a daily basis airbrushes, and photoshops reality into fantasy.   I am not an hourglass, and will never be. Yes I will never have a job modeling bikinis, (I didn’t want that job anyway).  I will however be the most awesome, attractive, healthy, intelligent, insightful, gorgeous, lean me I can possibly be.  Hey, I am most of those already!!!!

Everyday I am becoming more successful in conquering my body image issues.  I have been retraining my mind along with my body, because deep down I know MY weight issues were initially a result of low self-esteem. 

I have started bolstering my self esteem by taking small but effective steps:


1. Lately I’ve been taking a TON of photos and deleting the ones I dislike!! This is especially fun in a fitting room with outfits you can't afford -take a friend! Why buy magazines to look at photo-enhanced ideals of beauty that aren’t real.  Make your own style book with you as the model.


2. I have made it a point to purchase clothes that fit and look good on my body NOW.  I don't want to wear clothes that are too big. I might save a buck but I would look and feel awful about myself.


3. I glam it up with make-up EVERYDAY. I keep it natural and flattering, or bold if I’m in the mood.  This simple act reminds me that I'm worth the time it takes to put on lip color, eye shadow and mascara.  I look, feel and act gorgeous.


4. I am daily discovering things I like about my body, and not focusing on the pouch, the bat wings, or the thigh flab. I impress myself with the fact that I can do 20 push-ups without a break, and that I can run up 5 flights of stairs without losing breath. The fact that I can wear a tight dress or blouse (without spanx) and not have any "rolls" delights me to NO END! I giggle just thinking about it.


5. I am also learning how to recieve a compliment.  It was very hard at first because I never felt I deserved them, and I convinced myself that they were fake, empty words.  But now when I hear someone say, "wow you are so skinny!" (even when I feel I still am not) or "hey you look amazing!" I internalize it and hoard it like GOLD! Every head that turns, each compliment on your style, hair, shoes, clothes, maybe even a flirtatious smile sent your way is WELL EARNED.


I am not at my goal weight yet, but as I approach, my mind and body will eventually meet in the middle, and my” ideal body” will be one that I am just as happy and blessed in as I am right now.


OK so I HATE gimmicky stuff people are always trying to sell me.  YES I used to have a Thighmaster ( I think i was about 14). I even had that one diet plan with the aromatherapy pen that was supposed to curb your appetite (rolls eyes).  But I learned early in life not to jump on the bandwagon or buy everything that advertises itself as the Holy Grail.  I only want to use what works and what can fit into my lifestyle (and my tiny home).  So one day when I was given the opportunity to try Zumba (yes yes, hot Latin dance class,packed classes, sold out workshops all over the nation blah blah blah...) I couldn't pass that up.  And you know what?  I LOVE IT!

 I really needed to reinvigorate my exercise program and the Zumba DVD's gave me the push I needed.  So far staying OP and Zumba about 45 min to 1 hour a day (way early in the morning when the kids and DH are still sleeping) have changed my whole outlook on what I CAN accomplish in a busy day.  I have so much more energy, I make myself get in bed earlier just so I can get up and have my morning dance party!  I just have to keep moving.

I think I have the hang of this!

Ok, so I finally see a significant loss. I lost 4 lbs this week  and I feel like I'm making the plan MINE.   I attribute this to 3 things I have done differently than the 4 weeks prior.
  • I ate WAY more fiber, and a bit less sugar.  Sorry, I can't give up the sweet stuff completely.
  • I did not eat all my weekly plus points points.  In fact, I followed several members' advice and only used about half of the points and had at least 20 activity points to match.
  • I only allowed myself one indulgent snack a day the rest was either fruit or almonds.
  • I don't know if this will help anyone else get out of a slump but I think it will, my sister did the same thing based on the advice we'd received and she lost 3 pounds. YAY!

    I'm wondering if i should also convert how I'm eating on plan to calories.  I track my menu daily without fail, but it still feels funny counting points and not calories.  Thanks for the words of encouragement all!

    gonna dust myself off...

    Yesterday was weigh in day, and I wasn't smiling. I gained 0.4 lb and even though I stayed on plan, my choices each individual day could have been healthier.  For example, I totally justified eating 3 of those yummy 2 point cakes (yep THAT plan) one day last week because it was within my point range, but I know it wasn't the best use of my points.  I mean seriously, if that Kansas State University professor could lose weight eating junk food, couldn't I indulge a bit....especially if I stayed withing my allotted points? The answer plain and simple...NO!  Everyone's body is different and mine does not handle sugar and gluten well.  I need complex carbs and this past week I was really missing them.  In fact I realized that this week I'd eaten way less fiber then on a successful loss week. It's not the end of the world,  even though it disappoints me. I realize that it's a process and I have to focus on what works.  I need to increase my intake of healthy foods and at the same time reserve some points for some moderate snackage!!! Lesson learned.
    By the way, that Professor Mark Haub only ate about 1600 calories a day, and most of it was junk food.  As a full grown man he should have been eating around 2000 to maintain a healthy weight for his frame.  No wonder he lost 27 lbs in 2 months.  I wonder what will happen to him when he returns to his normal eating habits.  Here's his story:

    Back and better than before!

        Welcome to my little corner of the internet.  I suppose you're here because, like me you have had enough, and you are ready to put in the effort to transition your life.   I'm also willing to bet that its not your first time around the block.  Mine either.  But when we sit back and think about what has worked for us in the past and what hasn't, I bet we can come up with some pretty compelling reasons why this time will be a success. 
         In 2006 I WAS  successful at taking off 45 pounds (starting weight 240lbs) . Thanks to  Extrapounds, and various other techniques.  I worked out daily, blogged faithfully , and counted every single calorie without fail.  But my "military" style boot camp got old really fast.  Even after reaching one-derland (195lbs) my second child, and transition in the work world quickly knocked down my fortress of cards.  5 years later I have not gained it all back, (211 as of the start of the plan) thank God, but my goal seems even further away then before if that's even possible. 
    I find myself mourning the time that has passed knowing I could have already been at goal and maintaining a healthy weight for the passed 3 years.  But at the same time I am resolute in my decision to begin again.  So far I'm in Week 4  of WW new Points Plus Plan and happy to report 5 pounds down. I am creating new versions of my favorites and playing WW test kitchen every chance I get.  Got any recipes you want me to put a spin on or try out?  Post them for me here and I will give them a try and a review!

         My new favorite dessert has been Coconut Rice Crispy Treats.  They taste so decadent to me that I don't feel like I'm eating to lose poundage.  I feel like I finally am getting the hang of indulging in a sensible way.  Here is my  recipe that was inspired by a short term obsession with coconut.

    PlusPoints - 4
    about 15 minutes to make (if your kitchen is organized )
    1 Tbsp canned cream of coconut
    (Coco Lopez is also available in light but I used the regular)
    3 Tbsp regular butter, Melted in Pan
    5 cup(s) Jet-Puffed Confections Miniature marshmallows, mix into melted fats

    5 1/2 cup(s) crispy rice cereal
    1/2 cup(s) sweetened coconut flakes, blended fine, reserve some for topping

    1. In a blender or food processor, chop 1/4 cup of the coconut flakes more finely. Reserve the unchopped portion for topping the treats.

    2. Spray a 9x 13 baking pan with nonstick spray.

    2. Melt the butter and cream of coconut in a large pot or frying pan .

    3. Slowly add the marshmallows with a silicone spatula .

    4. Mix until the marshmallows have completely melted.

    5. Add the rice cereal and the chopped coconut flakes slowly and mix until completely coated.

    6. Press the mixture into the baking pan.

    7. Quickly top the treats evenly with the remaining coconut and press gently for adhesion.

    8. Cut into 16 bars when cooled and seperate into plastic sandwich or snack bags.

    9. Do step 8 or else...Seriously its the only thing that stops me from eating all the bars.

    10. SHARE - also helps you from not eating them in one sitting (Thank God for Weekly Points)

    Just visiting

    I want to apologize for not visiting everyones blogs in the last several  months...with my baby on the way and my focus on eating for his development, i have to admit a bit of disappointment in not being able to continue with my eating plan.

    As a result i have been avoiding all things diet related so that my focus is a happy healthy baby rather than the progress i would have made if it weren't due to this blessed
    Ive done a good job of not over doing it..though i must admit some worries about my thoughts on food.  I lost 15-20 pounds during the first trimester, i think that not only was it because i was dieting in the beginning of the pregnancy, i think my lack of appetite was directly a result of denial, and the desire to continue to lose weight.  I had to remove any desire and motivation to lose weight, as not endanger the baby, so i left the blogs and tracker alone...

    Ill be back in about 2 months the baby is due April 1, and im planning to jump back into dieting full steam ahead.  As of right now ive gained back the weight i lost in the beginning of the pregnancy and then some( i believe im somewhere in the neighborhood of 230) to be expected...but i still feel as tho ive gone a bit backwards in my weight loss efforts.  Hope to talk to many of u again soon and congrats to all of u who are sticking to it!!


    Now ive gone and done it

    LOL oh wow so after 2 months on Jenny Craig and over 20 pounds lost i go and get pregnant...  Ill be taking a break from Jenny till after the baby but ill still be sticking to healthful eating, in fact probably more healthful than ever. 

    I kinda have mixed emotions about it all right now, and ill come back to comment on all your blogs tommorow after ive processed all this. *smiles*

    Where has the time gone?

    I feel so guilty not logging in and blogging for so long but for a while there i was so unmotivated to stay on my diet and excersise.  I almost tanked with a binge on some tortilla chips but im back on track now with a loss instead of a gain. (was a close thing though i went up a pound then came down 3lbs  that next week..whew)  I am not sure what got into me but i know what i have to do to shake the blues next time....and no i dont mean binge again :P

    ive missed  those of you who have been so faithful in responding to my posts and im sorry i haven been here for ya.  Seems each day my daughter grows i need to spen so much more time with her while shes this little...and the hubby was complaining that i was online too i cut back big the point of not being on..hmm..between that and the blues i totally tanked, but i have forgiven myself and moved on and am looking forward to a new challenge as i attend a wedding this weekend, where i know all the food is going to be way to count calories frightens me big time but i will be saving calories all week to prepare.  God please let me be able to resist my trigger foods.

    *hugs* to all... be well!

    Yay im back

    Hope you all had a good week, ill be doing my posting rounds in a little bit ^_^  I missed everyone soo much while i was offline.  I was actually having support withdrawl and feeling a bit out of control...musnt stay away so long again :P

     i didnt do too badly with my eating this past week/weekend i confess i ate like 10 calories in baby snacks again (ugh).  and i went out with my hubby on a real date *gives a virtual hug to mom*  I did a baaaad thing and had baby back ribs, what was i thinking?  It ws 5 ribs and i saved calories for it but man did they make me sick after...they didnt even taste that wasnt worth the cheat.  I dont remember whos blog said this..i really want to do you the honor of the quote but its my new motto.."Nothing taste as great as being thin" 

    Im truly pleased to say that im gaining more healthy attitudes about food.  Im not feeling so lost when i have a craving or so guilty when i go 100 calories off plan...I increase my activity lvl and dont allow myself any more slips that week.  Ive learned to be just forgiving enough to myself...not lax enough to slip back into old habits, but finding a healthy balance so i can live with this lifestyle change, and not struggle with deprivation.

    I just want to thank you all so much who have commented, you truly encourage and inspire me and i KNOW we can do this.

    Wow where has the week gone?

    OK sorry i havent blogged lately, ive been busy with soo much. My cousin just had a baby, I just got some summer work tutoring students, and im preparing for my trip to Florida.  Ive stayed pretty much on track with eating (ok this means i ate some of the baby's food again but it was only a few cookies) and ive increased my intake of water to 120 oz.  Ive been reading your suppose to drink 1/2 oz every pound of body weight so lets see if this makes a big difference in how much weight i lose this next month :)

    As soon as this really intensly busy time is passed ill hop on and respond to everyones entries

     ^_^ thx for understanding