It's been a few days....

I'm back...I now realize that putting in extra hours during what would normally be the end of my day is no good for me. This week hasnt been a total disaster food wise, but I definitely had a major and moderate meltdowns in the food department.

On Tuesday night, what should have been a non-meal turned into a multi-slice pizza binge. On Monday night, my poison of choice were these really tasty little things called chicken bits. They are basically chopped up chunks of chicken covered in flour and seasoning then deep fried to perfection. I even had fries with them. I dont feel as bad about Monday though becasue I had only eaten one mean for the day up to that point.
Being out so late those night is alo why I wasnt blogging. By the time I got home and in bed by 3am, all I wanted to do was sleep so that I could get up for work in the morning.

Oh well, we fall down, but we get up. Hi-ho Silver, away!

Will Power

Friday
Breakfast: Oatmeal w/ a Banana
Lunch: Salad from Pockets
Snack: A couple of tortilla chips with some cheese
Dinner: none

Sunday
Breakfast : Oatmeal and a banana
Lunch: Turkey Sandwich on Wheat, Diet Lemonade, Doritos
Dinner: Baked Talipia w/ steamed brocoli and carrots, potatoe soup
Drinks: Patron Gimlet, Amaretto Sour, Corona

So tonight I went out to a club with some friends. We had a few drinks (as you can see) and stayed until the club closed. Afterwards we went to the White Palace Grill (a Chicago Landmark Restaurant).

Normally, I would love to make a food stop like this at 3am and enjot a nic big breakfast. However, today my will power took over. Despite the temptation, I only had water the entire time we were at the restaurant. I WILL reach my goal! In the meantime, thanks for the continued love and support.

Confessions...

Breakfast: Oatmeal & a Banana
Lunch. Swiss Burger w/ Fries
Dinner: 4oz Steak, Red Beans & rice
10 cups of water

So, I have a little confession. When I started this blog, one of the reasons I cited was for the purpose of accountability. As I said before, I am the type of person who really loves to help everyone else out with their problems, but I don't really like letting people in on my own. I can go into all the reasons why this is the case, but I don't feel as though that's important.

Anyway, after almost 3 weeks, I have yet to let anyone in my life know about whats been going on. That is, no one knows that I am actively working to reduce my caloric intake, begin an exercise routine, lower my blood pressure, or just improve my health in general. That is also to say that none of my friends in my non-internet life know anything about this blog which, in fact, defeats one of its primary intended purposes...letting them help me through this process.

I took the first step toward this end earlier tonight by confiding in one of my good friends about the existence of this blog and what I've been doing for the past three weeks. All that's left to do now is send him the actual link to the page, and repeat the process with other close friends. Here goes nothing...

Short and Sweet

Breakfast: Oatmeal & Banana
Lunch: Reb Beans & Rice, 1oz steak
Dinner: Chicken Fingers/Catfish nuggets, Fries
14 cups of water

Cravings...

Today was another pretty standard  day food wise. Oatmeal for breakfast, Chicken Pad Thai w/ Crab Rangoon for lunch and two small baked chicken wings and a slice of wheat bread for dinner. I also had some movie theatre popcorn with no extra butter or salt. Between lunch and dinner.

On to today's topic, the cravings. Most of the time I'm fine. I dont think about my favorites like fried chicken or pizza for example. However, when I'm around those foods, the cravings for them are almost unberable. Just smelling them makes me instantly crave them.

Today my mom had me go to a take out spot my family frequent to pick up something for her and my brother to eat. When I walked in, the smell hit me right away. The chicken and fries smelled sooo deliciouis. Fortunately, I had just finished eating the Pad Thai not an hour earlier, so not only was I not hungry, I could still feel the food in my stomach. Not too long ago, that would not have really mattered. I made it through though, and that made me happy. Four days to go until my next free day....

Feelings...

Food wise, today was a good day. I had my oatmeal this morning with a bananna, which tasted great! For lunch, I had a grilled burger with a slice of swiss and fries. Dinner consisted of a slice of wheat bread and 4 small baked chicken wings.

With that out of the way, what I'm really inclined to write about tonight are feelings. I'm curious, do you all think it's possible to control feelings? I mean, I know it's possible to some degree to control our physical reactions to the feelings in an attemp to not let others see how we are feeling inside, but is it really possible to consciously deside to feel or not to feel a certain way?

What made me think of all is was a blog post from a girl I went to high school with. In high school, I probably had a crush on nearly every cute girl in my class at one time or another. Most of these crushes were fleeting, and I can't really say that this wasn't the case for this crush in particular.

 However, due to the wonders of the internet and myspace, I have reconnected with this girl and come to find out through her blogging and our online discussions that she is so much more than a pretty face. She is a really good woman. The type of woman that I would love to have a serious relationship with. The problem is that everytime I think that, I almost instantly feel the way I felt back then...inadequate. It's very humbling.

It's so wierd. High school was almost 10 years ago for me, and while I changed so much since then, sometimes it feels like I haven't changed at all. When I'm around people who were in the incrowd back then, I always feel a little out of place...like, at any second I'm going to be the butt of a joke, or on the receiving end of the cold shoulder. In otherwords, I still feel out classed.

Despite all that I have accomplished so far in life, deep down I still feel inadequate.  Sometimes I wish I could just...not feel this way anymore.

Another one bites the dust...

Hello all!

It's been a few days. Friday was a pretty standard day. I had oatmeal for breakfast. 1/2 Beef Egg Fu Young for lunch, and Salmon with plantains and red beans/rice for dinner.

Saturday was my free day and so I treated myself (as I did last week) to end a  second week of more diciplined eating.  Sunday was a good day as well. I had Oatmeal for breakfast & 3 baked chicken wings with crowder peas for lunch. Dinner was an unusual one, but I feel good about it all the same. 

Some friends and I decided to venture to the south east side of Chicago to eat at this place known as Soul Vegetarian. None of us are vegetarians, but we had all heard great things about this vegan restaurant and wanted to check it out. The food, as you can imagine, was basically vegetarian soul food, and it was great! Dinner consisted of  a salad w/ garlic dressing on the side, sweet potatoes, wasabi brussle sprouts, greens, and some thing that was covered in gravy. Im not quite sure what it was but it tasted great. It even came with a whole wheat dinner roll. I had a tropical smoothie to drink, and a small piece of vegan lemon crumb cake to cap the meal off. With eats like that, who needs meat?

Until next time...

Short and sweet

I'm very tired tonight and therefor this entry will be short and to the point. I had oatmeal for breakfast at around 9am. I had an au bon pain steak sandwich with chips for lunch around 3:30pm, and I had two chicken fingers for dinner around 10pm. I also started my second bottle of the sample blood pressure medication my doctor gave me a week ago. Hopefully it's working. We shall see. Until then...

Celebrity

Greetings!

Another day, another dollar! I actually started the day off too busy to make my oatmeal, so I did not eat my first meal until 3:00pm/ It was a slice of pizza and some fries with a 20oz diet lemonade.
   
Fast forward eight hours, and I'm out at this place called Celebrity where I would end up having my next meal. (Not before I had my favorite drink, the Patron Gimlet) Their menu consisted of typical bar food like wings, and quesedillas among other things.

I opted for the grilled cheese sandwich w/ tomato soup. When it came out, the sandwich had been cut into 4 triangles arranged at each corner of the square plate with a 4oz bowl of tomato soup in the middle for dipping. I tasted pretty good.

When I got home around 12:15am, I found my mom had made spahgetti. I sampled some of that, ate a bannana, and called it a night.

Tomorrow, oatmeal for breakfast, salad for lunch! Until then....

Ho hum day

Hello lovely people. Today was pretty unextraordinary. I had my oatmeal breakfast as usual, cheese burger with onion rings for lunch, and a few bites of Egg Fu Yung for dinner.

I know this does not sound at all like diet food but, I honestly feel that whatever I do to lose this weight has to be sustainable, otherwise it will all come back as it has before. I probably used to take in 2500-3000 calories a day, whith a nice chunk of them being right before bed.

At this point, It seems like I'm having trouble clearing 2000. I mean, the oatmeal in the morning is about 350 (including a tablespoon of sugar and a half tablespoon of margarine. And lets just say that a burger with fries is 750. That still leaves me with 900 calories to play with, and I'm probably only using about half of them.

Does this "eat what you want, just watch the amount" logic make sense to anyone else? Have any of you found it to be effective over the long haul? Im interested in hearing your feedback. Until then...