My brother made a surprise visit home the other day and we have all been eatting out way too much.  Tomorrow we are getting together but at our house with normal food. Everyone is feeling restaurant hung over. I have not lost any weight  but at least I have not gained. Tomorrow starts the  holiday weekend and it is packed with yard work , finishing the tile work in the master bathroom and a family picnic on Sunday. Of course  the usual cleaning shopping and laundry. Maybe we can fit in a movie. Popcorn  minus the 7 dollar diet cokes. Oh what the heck give me a large.   My husband likes to dump raisenets into the warm buttered popcorn. Gooey. Chewy.   Stop stop stop. Everything surrounds food and eatting. Why is that?  The dog is even overeatting.  

I love  Fall . I know technically its still Summer but the temperatures where I live have started to cool. The leaves are beginning to drop. Shadows are long and Fall is near.  Food tast good this time of year. And the harvest should be abundent. Unfortunatly this year we have had a tomato blight with poor production. Usually we'd be busy canning vegatables out of our large garden patch. However this year we will busy cleaning up lots of weeds and disposing of many tomato plants so we don't spread spores from the blight to contaminate next years crop.  I'm thinking the garden is now too large and too much work and I am starting to re-think how its layed out. Changes.

I thurned 49 this Summer and with it I seem more welcoming of changes. Garden changes. Job changes. Diet changes. Lifestyle changes. Health changes. Alot of now or never is happening. It feels good!  

I made homemade beef vegatable soup for dinner tonight. I made it lower  in sodium than usual and we didn't miss it a bit. We also had some of the Crunchy Apple Salad from the recipe earlier today. It was really good. My husband said "now what makes you so sure this is healthy? This is really good. I know it's for your lunches but its so good "  Well I said , the apples are good and have fiber. The carrots, cabbage and  celery are low in calories. The raisins, well don't over do them but they make it taste really good. The walnuts we know are good and I used low fat sugar free yogurt. Of course it's good. Pass the bowl.  

I am trying to plan ahead as lunches are such a challenge for me as my job involves driving all day in the car. well I do make frequent stops but you know what I mean. drive thrus  are mostly unhealthy and salads with lettuce dont always agree with me and I question how clean they are. I as a rule do not choose foods off of a salad bar.  So if i can pack my lunch and actually want to eat it I am ahead of the game.  here is one I made this morning and it is great. give it a try.

 

crunchy apple salad

 

5 crunchy apples peeled and cut into bite size peices. you pick what you like. I chose a sweet gala.

 

1 small bunch celery washed and cut into bite size chunks. about 2 cups.

 

approx 1 1/2 cups of walnuts

 

approx 1 cup large moist raisins

 

approx 1 cup shreded carrots. already done in the bag. in the salad isle.

 

approx 1 cup shreded red cabbage already done in the bag too.

 

1 tsp coarse salt. I used sea salt but you dont have to. this is to taste.  it brings out the flavors.

 

add and combine 1 container lemon flavor yogurt. I used sugar free but you choose what you like. the lemon brightens the flavors.

 

1 tablespoon low fat mayo combine

serve cold or at room temp. enjoy.

saturday morning again and the endless choices of how to fail at a diet. no no no. try again. saturday morning has arrive and there are endless choices of how to spend this weekend and none of them need to be centered around meals or food. of course one needs to eat. But not make the day revolve around food. I do need to shop for groceries today but being less tired as during the work week I will make better choces and plan ahead. I'm going to clean out the fridge today. I always do better if its organized and I can find something healthy to munch on prior to dinner when I get home from work. That's when I search for comfort foods. Or when I eat until I'm comfortable. My knee feels good today so i won't be afraid to be more active. Its now been  four full months that I had the Euflexxa injection series completed. It has made for a much better summer. The pain is still there but in no way comparable to last winters pain. I would recommend anyone to try Euflexxa who is trying to delay surgery. I know its coming down the rode but hopefully by then I will weigh less and better prepared for the recovery. I will be able to get another round this fall but I may not need it. Just will wait and see. After I finish my cup of tea I going to go out and weed my garden. Or not.

Just the other day I decided I would have a lap band. Feeling relived about my decision  I called my insurance to verify my benefits.  I found they will not cover any weight loss surgery. My plan busted. It actually scared me. Now I must depend on my own strength. I now don't  have an option.  At least I can admit its all about me. Finally all about me. Its now or never. I choose now. Today. Step by step. Big ones I doubt it. Smaller ones seem safer. More realistic.

 I"m  49 years old. 5' 6  274 lbs. Not the bggest i've been. I once weighed 290. This past year I experienced the beginning of knee pain and lost 18 lbs because the pain made me not to want to eat. I"ve had to work at keeping it off. But I have kept it off. Its no longer about what other people think about me. Its about how I feel. How I function. If I want to be here next year.

Today I take blood pressure medicine and something to help me sleep. My knee hurts constantly. It prevents me from activity. My weight prevents me from activity. I am actually so fat I can't exercise.

  I don't eat too unhealthy. At least not now.  Obviously I have in the past. I've  damaged my body.  I've got to figure this out. I'ts now or never. I choose now.

I am totally unsatisfied with how my life is turning out. I want to change.