thanks

I really appreciate the messages of support. You guys are right: I just need to stay with it and stay focused. Which is so hard to do! I haven't been doing well with either eating or exercise this week. How can I do this and not have it feel like added stress or deprivation (or both)?

I think I'm going to reshape my daily goals. I'm going to think of this instead as adding new habits. So my daily goal will just be to accomplish that habit for the day. I think if I can keep a new habit sustained daily for two months, I'll be ready to add a new habit on top of that. Sounds fairly reasonable.

So exercise is habit #1. I really need to do some kind of exercise daily. Tomorrow I will go for a walk in the morning before school.

I can do this!

ugh

Somehow this week I gained back the pound I had lost, plus almost a whole extra pound. Eek! I'm having a really hard time changing what I eat. I honestly had a hard time coming back on here after a few days away. I'm very frustrated with my lack of ability to stick with a plan for losing weight.

Even though I decided to go at this by trying not to change too many things at once, I think I still am. I set weight loss goals that are unrealistic, given that I'm not making huge changes in my life. So I'm ignoring those, and focusing on only one area: exercise. Well, I'm also going to focus on time-management with relation to school stuff, but that's not weight loss related.

So we'll see what I can accomplish along these two lines. Today I would like to:

1. Do some yoga or pilates.
2. Finish drafts of two poster presentations.

So there you have it.

first day of school!

Some how the start of a new semester just isn't that exciting anymore. :P Too many years of school I guess. But it will be nice to reconnect with people after the break. I'm taking one class and auditing another. My regular class starts today, the audited one starts next Tuesday.

Yesterday my goals were:

1. Try to communicate well with my advisor (we have a meeting today). - kind of. This one is hard to judge.
2. Make a healthy choice for lunch (eating out). - well... my sandwich had a feta yogurt sauce and melted cheese on it. I'm going to say no to this goal.
3. Turn off computer by 9pm. - yep!
4. Go for a walk. - no
5. Undecorate the Christmas tree. - no

Ok, so not a very successful day with the mini-goals. I think I need to keep it to four goals, with three of them related to weight loss. Today was supposed to be the deadline for my first mini weight loss goal of two pounds (so down to 170). But it's not a weigh in day. I did weigh myself, and was at about 171.6. Not good! I decided to move all my weight loss goal deadlines to Tuesdays, so they line up with my weigh in days. So the deadline for the two pounds is now next Tuesday. And I really need to get it in gear and stop expecting that just typing in this blog will make me lose weight!

Today my goals are:

1. Go for a walk.
2. Eat healthy for lunch.
3. No sugar.
4. Turn off the computer by 9pm.

The computer one was really hard again last night. I just don't know what to do with myself once it's off! I feel disconnected from the world when I'm logged off of gchat and facebook. But I realize that I need to have resources beyond my computer, so I'm sticking with this goal of reducing my computer usage.

Ok, I'm going to head out on my walk right now! Hope you all have a great day!

more goals

woohoo!

I lost 1.2 lbs over the last week! Yay! Not bad at all considering I haven't been making the greatest food decisions. I guess just adding in the little bit of exercise I have added has made a difference. Good to know!

Yesterday's goals were:

1. Finish draft of school project. - done!
2. Go for a walk. - yep!
3. Make healthy food choices. - well... mostly. except that bag of nacho chips.
4. Talk to B about communication. - YES. DONE. YAY!!

That last one ended up being an emotional conversation not just about needing to communicate more, but also actually about our relationship and where we see it going. The bottom line right now is, I want long-term, and B isn't sure. He just ended a pretty crappy marriage a couple years ago, and is still recovering. I'm willing to give us more time and see what happens, so I do hope we end up wanting the same thing.

Anyway, I felt pretty good about what I ate yesterday (plain yogurt with honey for breakfast, veggie stir fry and rice for lunch, leftover dairy-free beef stroganoff for dinner). But... I got hungry in the afternoon and ate most of a bag of nacho chips. Oops.

Today I will:

1. Go for a walk (since it's working!)
2. Do schoolwork for at least three hours.
3. Undecorate the Christmas tree.
4. Spend at least half an hour cleaning the house.
5. Turn off the computer by 9pm.

I tend to sit down in front of my computer and feed it hours of my time. I don't do anything productive on there, but just play games and read facebook. So I need to start scaling that back. I want to start by turning it off at least an hour before bed and reading instead.

So there you have it! I'm going to go change into walking clothes and wander around the neighborhood listening to an audiobook for half an hour. :)

Have a great day everyone!

Is it really 2012??

Wow. I feel like the last year really flew by. It's hard to believe that it's January again. Time to get ready for yet another semester of grad school, with all the crazy work that requires. Almost at the one year mark with B. Wow.

Anyway, back on the subject of food and weight loss and all that.

Yesterday's goals were:

1. Finish draft of school project. - nope. Did 1/4 of it. Gotta finish the rest today.
2. Go grocery shopping. - yep! yay for groceries
3. Go for a walk (ok if it's just a short stroll around the neighborhood). - nope :(
4. Talk to B about communication (I'm going to keep writing this til I actually do!). - nope

So not a very successful day, in terms of my mini-goals. I've also been making kinda crappy food choices. And I ate too much at dinner last night. Relatively healthy food (dairy free beef stroganoff), but still.

Today I will:
1. Finish draft of school project.
2. Go for a walk.
3. Make healthy food choices.
4. Talk to B about communication.

I'm really getting tired of writing in that last goal. Maybe it's time to actually do it. :P

Ok, even though I got up early with B when he left for work, I'm getting a late start on the day. I got sucked into the world of facebook and online computer games. Ugh! Now it's time to eat some lunch and head to a cafe to do my school work.

Have a happy Monday everyone!

Happy New Year!

Whew. Didn't get a chance to post yesterday, as I was helping my boyfriend move. So my goals for Friday were:

1. Go for a walk. - yep
2. Do at least two hours of school work. - yep
3. No overeating. - hmm. I wasn't being very mindful, so not sure if I accomplished this or not.
4. Talk to the boyfriend about communication. - kind of. had about half of the needed conversation.

I didn't set mini-goals for Saturday, but definitely got a lot of exercise. My boyfriend moved out of one second floor apartment to another second floor apartment. Lots of walking up and down stairs and lots of carrying boxes and heavy furniture. Little bit sore today!

On Friday we kind of talked about communication, but more in general, not so specific to our relationship. It was good though. I felt like it got the ball rolling a little more.

We planned to go out for New Years Eve, but we were exhausted after moving and B (my boyfriend) was having a major allergy attack. We ended up just hanging out at home, which was totally fine.

Today my goals are:

1. Finish draft of school project.
2. Go grocery shopping.
3. Go for a walk (ok if it's just a short stroll around the neighborhood).
4. Talk to B about communication (I'm going to keep writing this til I actually do!).

I hope everyone had a wonderful New Years! Yay for 2012!

feeling better

Hi everyone,

My mood yesterday ended up being way better than earlier in the week. Yay! I actually got a lot done. My goals were:

1. Don't order a panini for lunch; get something NOT grilled in butter. - Yup! I had a veggie & hummus sandwich
2. Do some kind of exercise for half an hour (either a walk or a yoga/pilates video). - Accomplished! Went for a walk when I got home from the coffeeshop.
3. Do at least two hours of schoolwork. - Did three hours!
4. Play flute. - Done. :)
5. Talk to the boyfriend about communication. - And.... nope. :(

I felt really good about getting a walk in yesterday. Often, if I don't exercise in the morning, I don't exercise at all. But yesterday I went for a walk in the evening, around 5pm, and it was lovely. I live on the edge of an historic neighborhood, with some beautiful houses. The sun was setting while I walked, and people were turning on their Christmas lights. So pretty!

I also got quite a bit of school work done, which was nice, and I'm scheduled to meet with a couple fellow students today to get more work done.

One of my good friends from college was in town this week with her boyfriend, so my boyfriend and I went out to dinner with them last night. I don't often get to see my friends from California, so that was really nice. (Did I mention that I don't live in the bay area anymore? I'm now in grad school in Phoenix, AZ).

Still no conversation about communication. How do you guys get around the "now's not a good time to talk about this" excuse that you give yourselves? I always think, oh I could bring it up now, but... we're going out to dinner/it's bedtime/we have homework to do/I'd rather watch a movie..... the list is endless. Sigh. Relationships are really hard work!

Anyway, my goals for today are:

1. Go for a walk.
2. Do at least two hours of school work.
3. No overeating.
4. Talk to the boyfriend about communication.

For some reason I'm having trouble coming up with mini-goals for today! I do want to keep it simple for now though, and not try to change too many things at once. The changes I'm making in my life need to be sustainable. Have a great day everyone!

whew

Ok, yesterdays goals were:

1. Go for a walk - accomplished
2. Cook something with those greens for lunch - accomplished! ate it for dinner too. :)
3. Do at least two hours of schoolwork - well... I think I managed one hour
4. Have a conversation with the boyfriend about communication - nope. totally failed on this one.

Yesterday I felt alternately pissed off and sad pretty much all day. I did go over to my boyfriends for the evening/night, and totally had an emotional breakdown. I had intended to talk with him about communication, but instead just sobbed for a while. He's a sweetie and just hugged me and then gave me pie. So I guess the communication conversation is a really hard mini-goal for me. So let me make into something slightly different. Call it a pre-New Years resolution. I will have this conversation before the new year. I'll keep listing it as a mini-goal each day to remind myself and keep accountability.

Anyway, I cooked up a big stir fry type thing for lunch yesterday and had it over rice. And then had it again for dinner, and fed some to the boyfriend. It was pretty tasty.

Today I'm hanging out at a coffee shop/cafe doing school work. I have several projects to work on, despite the fact that it's winter break.

My goals for today are:

1. Don't order a panini for lunch; get something NOT grilled in butter.
2. Do some kind of exercise for half an hour (either a walk or a yoga/pilates video).
3. Do at least two hours of schoolwork.
4. Play flute.
5. Talk to the boyfriend about communication.

Thanks everyone for the welcome messages. It's great to be back on here.

rough day

Hi everyone,

Yesterday was a bit of a roller coaster for me. In the morning I felt great, and accomplished some of my goals. Then I started feeling sad and cranky in the afternoon/evening. I'm still feeling kind of down this morning.

So yesterday's goals were:

1. Go for a walk (at least 30 minutes) - accomplished!
2. Cook at least one dish with greens - kind of accomplished... I made a huge salad for lunch, but didn't cook any of the kale or bok choy I wanted to use
3. Play flute - yep!
4. No online computer games. - this one was hard, but I did it!

So I'm feeling pretty good about meeting those mini-goals. Today I will:

1. Go for a walk
2. Cook something with those greens for lunch
3. Do at least two hours of schoolwork
4. Have a conversation with the boyfriend about communication

That last one will be hardest for me, and I've been avoiding it for ages, which is why I think it's a worthwhile mini-goal. I'm not very good at communication in relationships, partly because I'm always afraid that saying the wrong thing will chase someone away. But I know that lack of communication is pretty much guaranteed to end a relationship, so I'm trying hard to be more open (but not doing a very good job). One of the reasons I'm feeling kind of sad and down is that I'm worried about the lack of communication over important topics with my boyfriend. So I'm going to try to bring it up when I see him tonight. No. I *am* going to bring it up tonight.

Anyway, I felt like my eating yesterday was up and down as well. I did have a salad for lunch, which was great, but then I was too cranky to cook dinner, so I had a couple small reheated baked potatoes and toast with jam. Not exactly a complete meal.

Ok, I'm going to sign off now, have some breakfast, and go for my walk. Lately I've been listening to audio books on my ipod while I drive (hooked into my car stereo) and I listened yesterday during my walk as well, which was fun. I'll be doing that again today.

Have a wonderful day everyone!