I did my strength training last night! And I didn't die of extreme displeasure! Hooray! I switched my 4-mile run to this morning because it was just too damn hot and humid yesterday. I had a pretty good run--still no problems with the Achilles tendon. I've got Pilates at noon, then a 10-mile run tomorrow morning, then strength training on Sunday.
I had a really good eating day yesterday--no binges, no drinking, no unhealthy snacking. I'm hoping for a repeat of that today, but it's going to be a little bit trickier. I'm meeting the girls from my book club around 7pm, and there are always lots of cocktails and lots of appetizers (think spinach dip, chips and guacamole, that kind of thing).
My plan for the day is to eat a sandwich for lunch around 11 (before Pilates), have a banana or a low-calorie bar around 3pm if I'm hungry, then eat a healthy dinner before meeting up with my friends.
We're going to a wedding tomorrow morning at 10:30, followed by a lunch reception. The good thing is that I will have run 10 miles, so I should be able to enjoy the lunch and have a piece of cake relatively guilt-free.
Here are my answers for the worksheet in my last post. I REALLY recommend this exercise. It's a real eye-opener...
Three excuses you are using to avoid making the changes you need to succeed. 1. I DESERVE A BREAK/TREAT. I have a lot of stress in my life and sometimes I just need to treat myself (indulge in food/drinks) in order to feel better. After a hard day, I’d rather do something mindless (eat, surf the Internet) than something that requires effort (exercise, cook, work on my writing). 2. I ALREADY WORK HARD ENOUGH. I’m very active, so I should get to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. I shouldn’t have to sit down at a computer to write after I’ve sat at a computer all day at work. 3. I SHOULD NEVER FEEL DISCOMFORT. Feeling even a little bit hungry is horrible. I should eat often so I won’t ever feel hungry. If I don’t feel like writing, I shouldn’t have to.
How have these excuses affected your life? What have the excuses stopped you from achieving? Write down 3 very important things that you have missed out on because you've allowed yourself to make excuses. 1. Achieving a healthy weight. 2. Running a marathon. 3. Writing a book.
Now how do you feel when you fall victim to one of your self-sabotaging excuses? I feel weak and lazy and horrible. I feel like I’ll never have the life I want because I don’t have what it takes to go for it. I feel like I’m selling myself short and giving up on myself.
What benefits do you get from the excuse? Is it simply that you get to remain in your comfort zone? That's a big one for me. If I can convince myself that I need to check my email, then I get to remain in my comfort zone and avoid the hard work and fear of failure that comes with writing an article. Or is it the fear of the unknown that is holding you back? Write down 3 ways you benefit from making excuses. 1. If I convince myself to do mindless things like surf the Internet or eat, then I don’t have to push myself and stretch my limits by writing. 2. If I don’t stick to my exercise plan, I won’t try to run a marathon—but at least if I don’t try, I won’t fail. 3. If I indulge whenever I feel like it, I won’t have to develop and exercise self-control. I’ll never have to learn moderation—I can keep being extreme.
So now we both know why we've created our excuses - to avoid something. All we need to do now is find a way to overcome these bad habits. I want you to write down 3 behaviors you want to stop. 1. I want to stop eating when I’m not physically hungry and stop overindulging in food/alcohol. 2. I want to stop skipping my strength training workouts. 3. I want to stop surfing the internet when I should be working on my writing.
Now write down why you end up doing it...were you bored, fearful,lazy, etc. 1. I end up eating when I’m not hungry or overindulging because I’m bored, lonely, anxious, or in a social situation where I either feel pressured to join in or where I feel resentful and deprived if I don’t join in. 2. I end up skipping my strength workouts because I’m lazy after work and want to sit on the couch and drink wine instead of work out. 3. I end up surfing the internet instead of writing because deep down, I’m afraid I can’t do it. I’m afraid that I don’t have what it takes to be a writer. It’s scary to try, so I take the easy way out and waste time on silly things. Then I claim that I don’t have time to write.
Now give yourself the permission to change. "Envision the rewards you will get when you make the change to your life and habits," Lee tells us. Give yourself a powerful list of reasons for fixing the habit. 1. I want to achieve my goal weight because I want to feel great about myself on my wedding day and not feel self-conscious about my body on my honeymoon. 2. I want to stay committed to my training plan—including strength training, because I want to be strong and toned and able to finish my marathon without getting injured. 3. I want to focus on my writing because if I stick with it, one day I’ll be able to quit my day job and write from home for a living.
I found a great resource online about breaking bad habits. I put the blank form up to make it easier for people to copy/paste, and I'll post again later with my filled-in version.
How to Break Bad Habits Written by Craig Ballantyne, CSCS, MS
Write down 3 excuses you are using to avoid making the changes you need to succeed.
How have these excuses affected your life? What have the excuses stopped you from achieving? Write down 3 very important things that you have missed out on because you've allowed yourself to make excuses.
Now how do you feel when you fall victim to one of your self-sabotaging excuses? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________
What benefits do you get from the excuse? Is it simply that you get to remain in your comfort zone? That's a big one for me. If I can convince myself that I need to check my email, then I get to remain in my comfort zone and avoid the hard work and fear of failure that comes with writing an article. Or is it the fear of the unknown that is holding you back? Write down 3 ways you benefit from making excuses.
So now we both know why we've created our excuses - to avoid something. All we need to do now is find a way to overcome these bad habits. I want you to write down 3 behaviors you want to stop.
Now give yourself the permission to change. "Envision the rewards you will get when you make the change to your life and habits," Lee tells us. Give yourself a powerful list of reasons for fixing the habit.
Working on bad habits everyday will give you an incredible boost in self-esteem and confidence. With each small successful improvement you'll build confidence to take on the bigger, badder habits that are holding you back.
Have you ever made this mistake? I was feeling pretty good about myself weight-wise, so I decided to wear a pair of pants that I haven't been able to fit into for quite some time. At home, they looked a little snug, but not ridiculous. I just went to the bathroom at work and I feel HORRIBLE. My thighs look like sausages, my butt looks ginormous, and I have a muffin-top.
Sigh... so much for the old self-esteem.
I didn't do too bad yesterday--I ran six miles and walked one. I had a pretty healthy breakfast and lunch, a normal sized (but probably pretty high-calorie) dinner with my friends, and a few glasses of wine. I'm sure the salt and the alcohol have me holding some water, so I'm refusing to consult the scale.
I'm going to try and run 4 miles tonight, but it's SO DAMN HOT outside. If it's just too miserable, I'll do my strength training workout (for real this time) tonight and run in the morning.
Basically, with the breast cancer genes I inherited from my mother and the fact that I've been taking high-estrogen birth control for 14 years, I have a 60% chance of getting breast cancer by the time I'm 35 (I'm 29 now) and an 80% chance by the time I'm 40. The oncologist wants me to get a double masectomy as soon as possible, then get my ovaries removed as soon as I'm done having kids. (The gene also increases your chance of ovarian cancer.) He said that if I don't have the surgery, there's a pretty good chance I'll develop cancer and need chemo and radiation, which could destroy my fertility.
Yeah.
I didn't take it very well. Thankfully my fiance was there with me, but still... I was a mess. He took me home, where I proceeded to eat too much and drink too much. I skipped my Pilates appointment and I (of course) didn't do my weight workout. I'm still pretty bummed about the prospect of this insane surgery, but I got up and ran 6 miles this morning and I feel much better today.
The good news is that I woke up this morning at 145.0. I'm dying to break through to the 144s, and I'm so close! Tonight is going to be a challenge because we're having dinner with friends at one of my favorite restaurants. I'm hoping to hold it together and maintain or--dare I hope?--lose, but we'll see what happens.
This has been a tough week--I'm so glad it's Hump Day!
I feel like eating everything. Seriously. I know it's nerves about this stupid appointment and I'm trying my hardest not to give in, but it's all I can do not to get up and go get a Kit Kat from the vending machine.
Why? What will eating junk food do except make me feel like crap about myself? Nothing. So why do I want to do it so badly? Sigh...
Here's what I've had to eat so far today:
Banana & English muffin with light cream cheese
Fruit & Nut granola bar (140 calories)
Salad (spinach, mushrooms, sunflower seeds, dried cranberries, baby carrots, garbanzo beans, very small amount of balsamic dressing)
That's pretty good, right? So there's no sense in me undoing all the hard work of running and eating well just because I feel nervous about going to the doctor.
Today is the big day--I have an appointment with an oncologist to talk about breast cancer prevention. (I have a HUGE family history of breast cancer, and I inherited the breast cancer gene from my mom.) My fiance is going with me, so hopefully I won't be as emotional and angsty about it as usual.
Of course, I did not wind up doing my weight workout last night. I don't know what it is about strength training, but I blow it off all the time. Don't I want to replace fat with muscle? Oh yeah... I do. So maybe I should grow up and do my stupid weight workout TONIGHT. I ran 4 miles this morning and have Pilates this afternoon, so that's a lot of exercise in one day, but seriously--I can't keep letting myself get away with this!
Work is going well--it's been very busy lately, but I'm coping. Wedding planning is OK. Social life is a little overactive. Overall, life is good!
I keep bouncing back and forth between the 145s and the 146s. My goal for the week: break the 145 barrier and get into the 144s.
I was able to run with no problems and no pain Saturday and yesterday--HOORAY! I'm sleeping so much better already. I'm going to do weight training today (seriously, I promise) and give my legs a break, then run and do Pilates tomorrow. It feels good to be back on my running schedule.
I can definitely tell a difference in how my body looks--especially through my midsection. I haven't seen much of a change in my body fat though (at least according to my scale)--probably because I cheat on my eating plan all the time!
I'm very motivated to lose weight for my running. Last week, when I did 10 miles, I wore a Camelback water carrier that weighs 4 pounds when full. I could NOT believe how huge of a difference that 4 pounds made in my running. I felt sluggish and... HEAVY. Imagine if I lost 11 pounds and got to my goal weight of 135! That could really improve my speed/endurance!
I woke up this morning powerfully craving my favorite breakfast--everything bagel with egg and cheese. I waffled for a while between sticking to my eating plan and giving in, and I decided--what the hell, it's Friday and it's been a long week, and one bagel won't kill me.
It was sooooooo good!
I'll get back on track for lunch, and am planning strategies to get me through dinner/drinking with friends tonight. I checked the restaurant's website, and I think I'm going to have this for dinner: "Ahi Salad: Tuna, blackened and seared rare, with Märzen Vinaigrette and Cajun Remoulade". If I get it with dressing on the side, it shouldn't be too bad right? I mean, there's no cheese, creamy dressing, nuts, or other fatty stuff. The place we're going is a brewery, so there's no Light Beer--only full-calorie, high carb stuff. I'll stick with wine (and lots of WATER) and I should be OK.
I can do this, right? I don't know why I'm so freakin' angsty about it.
I'm doing Pilates at lunch today, so I'll get some exercise. Oh, and I didn't wind up doing my weight training last night. I know. I always find an excuse not to do it. I'm hoping that I can get home from work early enough to do it before going out. If not, I'll do it tomorrow. Speaking of which, tomorrow is RUNNING DAY! Hooray! I'm so excited! Everyone keep your fingers crossed and send me good vibrations, postive energy, prayers, or whatever you can offer!
I've been sleeping like absolute CRAP since I haven't been running. I guess my body is just used to getting lots of exercise and it has all kinds of extra energy that is KEEPING ME AWAKE ALL NIGHT. Seriously... I am exhausted.
I've been such a good girl, though, and haven't broken my promise not to run until Saturday. My plan for tonight is to do my strength training and go for a walk. Hopefully that will be enough to get me sleepy! Then tomorrow is Pilates and Saturday will be running.
An exercise in positive thinking: I caught the strained Achilles tendon when it was very very mild. I did the right things--ice, anti-inflammatories, rest, compression--so it's going to be 100% healed by Saturday, and I'll be able to ease back into my running schedule. I am CONFIDENT that it will be better.
The eating plan is still going well. I was very, very good yesterday--still didn't manage to eat all the veggies, but I gave it the old college try. The only two things I'm struggling with are SALT and CAFFEINE, neither of which I want to give up. But the eating plan says that too much salt makes you retain water and feel sluggish and bloated, and caffeine throws your body off because it lifts you up then lets you crash. I'm not willing to cut either out entirely at this point... baby steps, right?
I've got a big night out with my friends tomorrow, at which I will be expected to eat dinner and drink... a lot. I've been doing so well--I really don't want to blow it all on one stupid night that I'll only feel guilty about the next morning, do I? No... I don't. So why is it so hard to imagine going out and having a salad (dressing on the side, please) while everyone else eats chicken wings, and sipping a glass of chardonnay while everyone else tosses back fruity mixed drinks and Belgian beer? (beaang, I think you feel me on this...)
