I'm going to make it this time..

Too pumped up to fail!

My Profile

  • Name: Rikkielle
  • City: Springfield
  • Region: Massachusetts
  • Country: United States

My Weight Loss

Height: 157.5cm
Start weight: 206.80lb
Current weight: 201.60lb
Goal weight: 115.00lb
Lost to date: 5.20lb
Remaining: 86.60lb

My Calendar

26
May '12
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My Photos

Before After

Update.....

Just did a 6 MILE WALK with my husband.  Excuse my language, but FUCK YEAH! I'm so proud of myself and it cleared my head so much.  I love my husband so much for being willing to do it right alongside me!  It was actually a nice relaxed walk and I burnt like 750 calories!!!!

This week is going to be much MUCH better!!!!

Today...

Today is a gorgeous day considering it's December.  It's in the 50's and a perfect day for walking.  Even though I still don't feel great, I am determined to get cardio in. 

I did a great job on counting my calories yesterday and haven't missed a beat yet today.  I have no idea what I'll make for dinner tonight, but I'll probably just throw something in the crockpot. 

Getting back on track

I'm sorry I haven't posted in like a week! I feel guilty! I kind of let the holidays and my birthday and now being sick get the best of me.  I know, I'm making excuses and that's not good.  However, I'm ready to jump back on board.  I made sure to really track my calories today and even though I'm still sniffly and have a headache I am going to go for a walk today! The fresh air may do me some good.  Then, I am going to make a homemade low calorie fritata for dinner. Then I'm going to clean our bedroom and then possibly do some JM.  Hopefully I'll be well enough to do this.  I'll let you ladies know how it went in the morning. 

xoxo

tough week

So I think I'm going to go crazy....

I know I said it would be a better week but it's going to be SOOO difficult.  Of course Thanksgiving is Thursday and then Sunday is my birthday and to top it all off, Dad made his press release today that he is being deployed to Afghanistan.  We've known for a year, but it makes it real now that the county knows that they're losing their sheriff.  I'm going to have to try really hard to be a good girl.

I'm going to have to do a lot of JM 30 Day Shred......Oh am I going to be hurting...

Not such a good week

Very rough week....

Tom visited so my weight went up....damnit....oh well....small set back.  Had problems with my gym membership payment. For some reason it wasn't taken out of my account.  On top of that EP wasn't working for two days....(don't know if that affected anyone other than me) 

This week will be better!

meh...

It's been kind of a dull week.  Nothing's been really happening.  I started a new job and it has been difficult to count calories and manage what I'm eating, but have no fear, I am getting by and staying on track. 

The gym has been mediocre, but I'm going to put more effort into it tonight. 

4 lbs Down! A great start!

4 lbs. down!

 I would consider this a fabulous week.  I just need to keep doing what I'm doing, so I can continue to shed the pounds! I'm very happy about this and it has definitely made me even MORE positive about the journey to a better me.  I am proud of myself for sticking with it.  The motivation is definitely there! I'm going to do this!!!!!

I would say that it is going to be an amazing day.  I've lost 4 pounds, and I'm about to start a new job in about an hour and a half. 

Bridesmaid to be...

I just want to reiterate the fact that my miserable sex life is not the soul reason I'm losing weight or the most important, quite the contrary actually.  I'm doing it for me.  Because I deserve to be healthy and I deserve to look the way I've always wanted to look.  I just needed to make sure that you all know I'm doing it for me and no one else.  Every part of me feel positive that I will succeed at this.

So, I have short goals set up for my weight loss, but one of the longer ones just came about last night.  One of my two best friends that I had in high school is getting married in August and has asked me to be a bridesmaid.  Of course I was honored that she asked.  I had felt bad though because I had been ignoring her phone call (been too busy) and hadn't called her back.  I had no idea that she was blowing up my phone trying to tell me she was getting married (to one of my very good guy friends). So, it'll be wonderful to stand up there with her and not feel like I'm the one filling the pictures.  God, I'll actually be comfortable with pictures. 

Dear Abby....

So, I have a very personal topic I would like to discuss in my blog this morning....if you don't want to read this that's fine but if you do I would truly love some words of advice if you have any. 

I refused sex with my husband again! Neither one of us can even remember the last time we had sex at all.  This is horrifying!  I had to stress to him last night that it's not him.  I'm extremely attracted to him, I'm just not attracted myself I guess.  I can't stomach the idea of being naked in front of him.....in front of the man who loves me unconditionally, fat or thin.  What's wrong with me?  I actually rolled over and verbally said, "I can't do this."  I've never done that. I just couldn't lay there and allow him to struggle for an hour to get me turned on.  That's not fair to him.  This is an ongoing problem now, and it's just getting worse.  We've had an amazing chemistry in the past and even on the rare occasions that we do have sex now, the heat and passion is still there. 

I mean, I know I'm not a machine and I can't possibly be expected to turn on like a light every SINGLE time he tries, but at least 3/4 of the time would be nice. I would also really love to initiate things once in awhile. Come on Ladies, admit it, men are not the only ones who crave sex, or who need it.

I'm just stuck.  We've tried everything from massages, to porn to get me in the mood.....nothing is working!

S.O.S


Better than all the rest...

Same workout as yesterday.....

Anyway, I've realized how different this time is from all the other attempts at losing weight.  I really don't want to quit this.  No matter what obstacles are thrown my way I am prepared to face them and move on, stronger for it.  It's really nice to have EP because I have tons of support from people who are going through the same thing and believe in me.  So thank you, friends!

TGIF!! I'm ready to go shower and watch a nice romantic movie with Joseph and have a relaxed night. 

Goodnight ladies!!

xoxo

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