Suggestions, anyone?

I am trying to think of some good ways to reward myself for my achievements that don't involve food. They need to be fairly inexpensive, as I am trying to save up for other things as well.

I always say to myself "if I meet my goal this week I will ____ ", but then when I do meet my goal I don't follow through with giving myself the reward. I start thinking "oh, I can't afford it", or "I don't have time to do that this week".

Any ideas on rewards, and on how to actually follow through on rewarding myself?

Celebration

Yesterday I got a promotion! I am very excited about it! I have been working as an auto adjuster for property damage for about 1.5 years now, and as of June 15th I will be starting in the casualty department as a bodily injury adjuster!

The problem is that I wanted to celebrate. Now, I know this shouldn't be an issue. It is completely normal to want to celebrate good news like this. But the reason it is a problem is because I wanted to celebrate with food. I wanted to binge. I wanted to use this promotion as an excuse to let myself order pizza, buy chips, eat chocolate. "I deserve to eat everything I want because I just got a promotion!"

No. I just don't get why I would do this to myself. Why would I sabotage my weightloss efforts through something positive happening in my life? Why would I want to celebrate with food? Why would food be the first thing that came to my mind? Is there no better way that I could celebrate this good news?

Maybe it is because I don't have anyone to celebrate with. Come to think of it, the first thing I thought of was really who I could tell this good news to, and only 2 people came to mind. My mom, and my daughter. I guess all of the good things in life just don't seem as good if you have no one to share them with, and I pushed away all of the people in my life because I was embarrassed about my weight. I didn't want people to see me like this, so I pushed them away to save myself the embarrassment. I guess food became my only friend, so of course that is what I turned to in times of celebration.

I guess I wanted to binge because I didn't have anyone to celebrate with. I couldn't think of anyone to tell my good news to who would care. The only person I have told is my daughter, and she is only 2 and a half. lol. Well, and I guess whoever is reading this now knows too. Maybe I just needed to find someone else to celebrate with, and when I couldn't find anyone I was left with an empty feeling so I wanted to eat instead.

Well, I didn't end up ordering pizza, and I didn't buy chips. I did, however, eat some of my daughter's left over easter chocolate. Though, I guess it could have been worse.

I am not going to be hard on myself here. I think this is an important realization, and even if I did eat a couple of chocolate eggs.. I can at least identify this in the future to prevent it from happening again. I guess I am going to need to go out and try to make some new friends that I can celebrate the good things with in the future.

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When you place the blame on something outside of yourself you take away your power to change it.

Reminder!

Always bring your MP3 player when you go to the gym!

So, I get up bright and early. Get all psyched to go to my cycling class and burn some calories. Get there, get ready... wait... Nope, no instructor shows up! Crap!

I figure that I will need to find something to do while I am there, would hate to waste that drive! I try the treadmill... walking, walking, walking - BORING! I try the elliptical, round and round and round we go - BORING! I didn't last 5 minutes without my music. *sigh*

My lesson for the day: Music makes the world go round, always bring my MP3 player even if I don't plan to use it!

Well, I guess I am going to have to go to the class tonight instead. Bodyflow baby, yeah!

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Perfection is not required, all you need is Persistance!

The new beginning

I started my weight loss journey on Nov 18, 06. I was at the heaviest point I have ever been: 309 pounds, and I knew that it was time for me to change my life.

I have been on Jenny Craig now for the last couple of months, and I have lost 24 pounds so far. I am very proud of myself for getting this far because the most I have ever lost (and then regained) was 20 pounds.

I have come across some very difficult times. My life is completely changing now, and I am finding it challenging to keep on track. I am hoping that blogging will help me to stay accountable for my weight loss, and keep me on track by reminding me of my goals.

Everything helps right? So, I will try to dedicate 10 minutes every day to myself and my weight loss. Through this site, my journal, and the other tools I have identified.

It is time for my transformation, I deserve it!