blah. So, the daily goals/journalling thing isn't working. I just don't have time for it. I need to come up with something else. This last week I have lost all motivation! I don't like it!
I am not sure what I need to get me back on track, but I hope I find it soon. I really don't want to go down this route, as I had a really good month in April. I want that drive back!
I am going in tomorrow to talk with my JC consultant. Hopefully we can figure out what is going on. This week hasn't been too bad, but it certainly hasn't bee great either. I worked out on sunday for an hour - and I walked around the zoo for like 3 hours, so that is good. On Monday I went swimming with my daughter, but when I got home I caved for the T-Bone steak that I was craving. So, I had a steak, and a baked potato, and ceaser salad. It was delicious.
I have been eating my meals, but snacking periodically on a large amount of junkfood as well. I use to NOT eat my jenny craig, and then substitute it for some less than healthy other foods (pizza, chinese, etc)... but now I eat my jenny craig foods AND the junk food on top of it. That is very very bad.
I am working tomorrow day, and will likely stay late tomorrow night to work some overtime for extra cash. So, I will be eating all of my meals at work.
I didn't have enough energy today to pre-portion my food for the week, so I will wake up early tomorrow in order to get that done. Otherwise I may use it as an excuse to eat off menu, and that would be very bad!
My goals for tomorrow:
Drink LOTS of water!
Eat all of the food I bring with me, and don't eat anything when I get home. Just do my nails, or journal my thoughts, or read a book, or go to bed! Just do NOT eat!
Go to body flow tomorrow night after work
Even if I am tired, come on and write my thoughts and arrange my goals for Tuesday!
Well, today went pretty good I think. I went and did body pump this morning, and then we went and walked around at the zoo for 3 hours, so I got lots of exercise in! I ate my breakfast, my morning snack, and my lunch on menu - but when I finally got home that is when I caved. I ended up making some Nachos, and ate that for dinner instead of my meal. oops.
I drank all of the water I needed to, so that is good. It was easy to keep hydrated because it was beautiful out! Nice and sunny and warm. I had lots of fun with my daughter, and my day was great. But for some reason as soon as I came home I wasn't happy, and I was grumpy, and I have no idea why. I am hoping it is because my Ex is here, and he was getting on my nerves. I can't wait to move out!
Anyways, the day was ok considering. And I journalled! So most of my goals were achieved!
I don't have any huge plans for tomorrow. I would like to go to the gym in the morning (for at least 1 class), and I may end up going to Heritage park with my mom, my sister, and my daughter in the afternoon.
The only potential problem I see, is that my lunch for tomorrow requires a microwave, so I doubt I will be able to eat that if I go. If I do end up going I will switch my lunch from the chili to the tuna salad kit. Otherwise, my day is pretty much clear.
My goals for tomorrow:
Water, water, water! Drink at least 3-710ml bottles!
Exercise for at least 1 hour. That could be walking around heritage park, or going to a fitness class, or going to the gym and doing the eliptical.
So, I weighed in. I gained 1.7 pounds, but I can't say I am shocked. I am glad it wasn't more. I fell completely off plan this week. I was an eating monster, so I can't blame anything or anyone but myself. I do feel very guilty, and I am pretty angry with myself for this slip.
However, I am going to keep going. I am going to pick myself up and try again. This week I am going to make smaller goals for myself, and go day-by-day instead (as suggested - thanks!).
My goals for this week:
Make individual goals for myself every night for the following day, and stick to those goals.
I am a perfectionist. What's worse is that I am an organized perfectionist! If I do not accomplish what I set out to achieve perfectly - I have this persistant, nagging feeling of needing to 'redo' it. Start over, start again, start fresh.
For instance, this week. The perfectionist in my is ready to say "I haven't done any of the stuff that I set out to do", when in reality - I have stuck to my menu about 60%, and I have worked out once this week. However, I did eat some chips, and chocolate ice cream, and some vietnamese food. I have also missed a couple of exercise classes. Ok - so it isn't what I had hoped I would do, but certainly I have done some of it.
Yet I have this nagging feeling in me. Telling me this week is ruined. It can't be salvaged. I will need to wait until next week to start over. That is crap, but there is this feeling in me that won't let it go.
I know it is crazy, and it makes no sense. But it won't leave me alone! I just keep on wanting to 'start over' 'start fresh' 'start new' - NEXT week. Why can't I start again in the next meal? The next day even? Why does there have to be a next? Why can't I start over NOW???
It isn't in me to start now. I set these weekly goals, and if I didn't complete them perfectly I need to wait until next week to create new goals? That is silly!
I had such big plans for myself this week, and although they were well thought out and completely reasonable to achieve - for some reason I have not been able to execute them the way I had hoped
I am getting really down on myself, and I am starting to feel hopeless. I was doing so well, and I don't want to get into a slump again. Someone help pull me out of it! Please!
What can I do to get motivated? How can I make myself follow my own good advice? How do I make myself carry through with my plans?
Your support and advice would be so helpful right now!
So, I weighed in today - and fortunately I didn't gain! I am pretty much completely shocked. This week I wasn't able to stop myself as I had hoped. I lost a bit of control, and ate whatever I wanted to whenever I wanted to. I didn't exercise at all, which didn't help. And last night I drank like crazy, so i thought for sure I would pay for it today... BUT I still lost .3 of a pound, which is better than a gain!
Now I am ready to get back on track.
My goals for this week:
Exercise 3-4 times
Drink 2000ml of water every day
Stick to the menu 100%
Lose 3 pounds
Give an extra 15 mins every morning and every night to focus on myself and remember my goals.
Exercise plan for the week - 6 hours:
Sunday: Body pump: 9:30-10:30am, Body flow: 10:30-11:30am
Monday: RPM: 6-7am, Body flow: 7:30-8:30pm
Tuesday: Body pump: 6-7am
Wednesday: Body flow: 7:30-8:30pm
Emotional-motivation plan for the week:
Create a 'goal board' - put pictures, quotes, thoughts, goals on a board outlining who I want to be, and what I plan to achieve. Put it in a place I can see every day.
Take 15 mins every morning to 'enhance my beauty'
Journal every night before bed, focus on the positive!
Yesterday was pretty brutal. I woke up at 5am, and had to go to the hospital by 6. I had surgery booked for 8am, but I couldn't eat or drink anything before going. When I got there they got me prepared for the surgery, and then brought me in - I went to speak to the anesthesiologist and was informed that because of my history of asthma, and because of my weight it would be best that I don't be put to sleep during the procedure and get a local anesthetic instead.
This completely terrified me, but I went along with it. They gave me an epidural, and I couldn't feel from my waist down for about 6 hours. I had to wait in the day surgery unit until the anesthetic wore off, and that completely sucked.
I was finally released from the hospital at 3pm, and at this time I still hadn't had anything to eat (since 6 pm the last night). I was starving! So, needless to say - I went on a binge. I bought some vietnamese soup and spring rolls, chocolate ice cream, and salt and vineger chips (along with 2 movies). After eating all of that I proceeded to make mac & cheese for dinner. Not exactly the best food choice. But I didn't care!
I felt like I did after giving birth - no exageration. Because it was a cervical procedure, and because they gave me an epidural - by the end of it I was in the same pain as I was in after giving birth. The same soarness, the same bleeding, the same pain in my back (and the same massive bruise in spine). It sucked! So... I ate.
I really wish I hadn't, but I know it is because I was in 'starvation mode'. I had lost all self control and went after the first thing available.
So, I am hoping to get back on track today - and so far I have. I knew this was coming, but I just feel a little guilty about it. I am hoping I can salvage this week - even without being able to exercise.
