07/29/2010 12:51
I get knocked down, but I get up again.
So I went to WI and it was bad! I did not even look all I know there was a + sign of 3 or 4. I didn't even care. I had such a crappy day and made myself go to the meeting. I am glad I went. I sat with some women that were very inspirational and excited to be OP.
I sometimes wonder if everything will ever calm down in my life. I feel like since I can recall nothing can go smoothly something always has to happen. Perhaps that IS life I don't know. I was told God does not give us more than we can handle but this is craziness.
So a new day a new try at this. A new outlook and a positive thought: I woke up breathing. Sorry, it is all I got today.
07/27/2010 13:30
Want the good news or bad news first??
Good news: My daughters party went well. Everyone had a blast even though it poured in the middle of it. She has a very generous family and may not have to take out a loan for the remainder of what we owe!
Bad news: It started with a piece of pizza...and ended yesterday (being Monday)
The thing is I know it is just life and it happens and now the important thing is that I get back up and start again. Going out to Chinese tonight to say gbye to my inlaws they will be missed for sure and I already cannot wait til they come back! I have WI tomorrow and the old me would say screw it I will eat up until weigh in. The improved me says I will figure out low points and stick to it.
It is funny how I have been avoiding posting to the blog because I have not been OP. Silly girl..I am back!!!
07/21/2010 21:30
Down..YES!!
Down 2.2!! My experiment worked. Now, I don't know if this is good or bad but it worked anyway. I do not drink a lot really but come summer time and the cookouts I do have a few summery drinks. I noticed last week I did not do so hot and so I thought I would try something different. I had 2 cookouts this week and I drank water both times. I think it worked! I am having a huge cookout this weekend and with the weather in the high 90s it could be easy to have some margaritas at the party but I am armed! I am going to fill my jug of water and keep it cold. I am having it here so I can control most of the food. I also have the WW serving spoons so that will be a big help too. Any other ideas I would love to hear them!
07/20/2010 14:00
When one door closes..
another one opens. It is an old saying but at 40 years old I am just learning it is true. I had the best of friends in high school we did everything together. After graduating we lost touch. We were not the *normal* high school kids going off to college, we were living and struggling to find out who we were after experiencing different but life changing experiences. In that time we all lost touch for years and then about 2 or so years ago we found each other on facebook. I was at a bad place as I battled and do battle depression for years and called them, immediately we met at the beach and talked for hours. I will never forget that moment. I learned a lot of hard truths about myself and also learned what forever friends are. Right now one of us is going through some difficult times and it is nice to know for once I am the strong one to help HER. I guess my point is no matter how many years have passed or what you thought you said reach out..there is a bigger picture and a plan that we are unaware of and it brings us to where we are supposed to be.
I took the lesson and thought about my weight. I thought about how many times I have tried this and how many times I have failed and all the rotten selftalk. This time feels so different. Yes, it is great to lose weight weekly even if it is a pound but usually I have that little voice saying...you are not going to do it , you are not worth it. Now the voice says keep going you can do this! It really is hard to look in the mirror and find anything attractive right now but I am doing it and the more I say it to myself the more I will believe it ( I HOPE)
positive thought for the day: I am worth it.
07/15/2010 22:02
Blah, Blah, Blah
That is how I am feeling today. Zip your lip all I am hearing is blah, blah, blah. Sometimes I just do not get what people are about. I just need to remember to focus on what is important and keep on keeping on.
Next subject: I am going to dinner tonight and I am bringing salad. It is going to be fun and I cannot wait just to sit back and relax. It is so odd how I have to talk myself into going out all day long. All day in my head I fight with the thoughts of saying No and just staying home. I made a promise to myself that from now on no more saying no and I am following through. It is stupid really once I do what I said yes to no matter what it is I think why the hell am did I obsess in the first place?? This blog is really helping me figure things out in a way I never have before.
I just am not feeling inspired or to positive at the moment so let me try this. Positive thought of the day: I have friends that love me 100 percent inside and out.
07/13/2010 22:25
It all started with one blanket..
And then it snowballed. I cleaned all day long. I was dripping sweat and drinking my water thinking yay weight loss please since WI is tomorrow. I wonder if *normal* people think that when they sweat or do they just think it's hot? hmm since I am not normal I have no idea. I feel so accomplished though. I am a bit of a packrat and I like to keep things a little too long. Today I got rid of two big bags! I feel like I am finally getting it together. From the inside out.
I have been reading more on this site and the more I read the more I am motivated. The blogs are awesome. A big thanks to those who put themselves out there if any of you are reading this you are helping me and you are an inspiration.
Positive thought today: Although I have a long way to go in my organization of my life I am making the steps I need and it feels good!
07/12/2010 01:00
You can't always get what you want..
But if you try sometimes, you may just find you get what you need. Ahh..the Stones. I know I try to be positive and upbeat but sometimes I need a little attention. I had one of those days today where I felt unattractive, unworthy and big size 20ish lard. I wanted to be noticed today. I felt I looked pretty good. Then I realised something, I should not be defined by someone else. Yea it sounds good but cmon lets face it I want to be sexy! I want to be the hot one! So what is it I needed? I needed to realise it doesn't take a man to make me feel this way, it takes me to feel this way about me period. How is anyone supposed to feel this way about me if I can't even see it half the time?? duh!
I came home and I threw on my bathing suit and jumped in the pool. So I was hanging out, so I was showing the neighbors all of me, so what!! How am I ever going to do this once and for all if I can't be comfortable and feel sexy in my own skin! The next step is putting my picture up here. I am afraid of the comments I know how people can be online but I also know that it could be liberating and a learning experience for sure.
I have my first comment and first friend on my blog!! I know right? I am psyched! Thank you much mssyp!
Positive thought for today: I rocked my bathing suit!
07/11/2010 01:09
Baby, it's hot outside!
OK, I don't mean to complain but it is HOT! I know it is New England, and I know it is summer, but hell I am dying. I was actually happy to work all day today in the air conditioner.
The more I am on this site looking around the more I realise how lame my blog must look to elite bloggers! First off,
1. I have no friends?
2. My set up is boring. I lead a dull life!
That being said, the more I look around at other blogs and the EP site I realise more things like..
1. There ARE people that feel the same exact way no matter how much they have to lose.
2. Reading others blogs and information is inspiring to me and helps me.
3. Starting this blog is for me and it is working.
Tonight I am headed out to have some drinks. I did not make it to the gym today. BUT it was not my fault, I swear! I had an appt after work and then she had texted me and said she could not make it..ugh! So, I left my gym clothes at work so I would go there after work tomorrow. So there is a plan in place at least. Now, just to stick to it.
I decided to find one positive thing about me a day for a week begining now so here it is. I have been told I have an infectious laugh. That's all I got. Hopefully this will get easier..
