Productive Day

Today, I decided not to work, so I took advantage of my free time by going to Jazzercise this morning.  Then, a little later, I took both dogs out for a bike ride.

I don't know what's going on with my rides, though.  Apparently, I'm getter faster!   I added some distance to my ride with the "ectomorph" dog so that she'd get a longer/better workout, but I was still only out with her for about 20 minutes.  So, I ended up riding 40-45 minutes between the two sessions.

Now, I'm not complaining that I'm getting faster and better.  I'm just surprised!   I guess I'm going to have to fix and/or learn how to use my mileage/speed tracker so that I know exactly how far I'm going and how fast.

Anyhoo, I've got to get some chores done before I go pick up my daughter from school.   Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!!!!  

Alright!

Weighed-in at 228.2 - that's a 3 lb. loss!   Woohoo!!

I hope there wasn't a lot of muscle included in that since I didn't exercise much last week.   I'd love to make excuses, including that my husband wasn't home and I was working most of the week, but the fact is I could have done better....and now that I'm getting closer to the weight where my body likes to stop giving up the pounds, I'm going to have to start working harder every week.

But, I've done better so far this week.  I went to Jazzercise yesterday morning AND I got in about 40 minutes on my bike with the dogs.  (I rode the same loop as my last 60 minute ride....so, apparently I was riding faster!   Progress makes me happy!   )

Y'all have a great day!!

gettin' close!

I peeked at the scale this morning and I am sooo close to the "20s"!    I'm excited!   Can I get my body to let go of a few ounces by Wednesday's weigh-in???    Yes, I can...and I WILL!

Perfectly imperfect

A couple of threads on the JC boards really made me reflect on the counseling I sought when I figured out that something was horribly out of whack in my head after my eldest daughter was born.   I was suffering from post-partum depression, but the counseling sessions delved into many aspects of my life, including my perfectionistic tendencies.

During one session, my counselor looked at me and asked, "Don't you ever have any peace?"     (Huh?)  I remember sitting there, puzzled....

The fact is that, no, I never knew peace.... I never knew how to turn off those belittling, berating voices inside my own head.   So, the counselor let me read one of her books, The Self-Forgiveness Handbook, by Thom Rutledge.  That book helped me so much because it helped me to see what perfectionism really is:  perpetual self-victimization.

Today, I pulled out the journal I used during that time.  I've run across it a thousand times over the past 8 years, but I've never wanted to reread what I wrote in there, so I always stuck it back in the drawer, under as many other things as possible.... (so that maybe no one else would find it, either). The posts on the JC boards reminded me of myself, so I decided to pull out the journal today and was saddened by what I read.  

Here's some of what I wrote during an "inner voice" exercise:

Shannon, you can't do anything right.  You're a screw-up.  How could you possibly be a good mother?  You're not even a good person.  You are fat, lazy, and undisciplined.

Not one positive thing in there... and that's how I thought of myself. 

The good thing is, I'm not striving for perfection anymore. In fact, I think I spent a few years a bit toooo forgiving and accepting of my imperfections, idiosyncrasies, and addictions (food/internet).   Now, I seek balance.

I strive to be better and balanced, but still....a perfectly imperfect "me". 

Dorky, huh?   LOL

Holy Crapolli!

I lost .6 lbs., according to my scale this morning.  Not a stellar weigh-in, but it was as expected considering the camping trip this weekend.

The title of my post is the phrase that came to my head when I realized today that my food addiction is real ....and it's rearing its ugly head.   After  a weekend of outdoor decadence, I'm having a hard time getting back on the wagon.  Up until now, I haven't had a problem getting back on plan after a few meals "off," but hell!   All I want to do is go eat the Hershey's bars and marshmallows that were left over from the camping trip.   I want chocolate, cheese, breads, Nutella...... ugh!   Sugary, greasy, fatty foods are what I want and it has nothing to do with the taste, so a smidgeon won't do.   I want them for how they make me FEEL.   Crap.

Note to self:    After the high is over, when you're crashing down - they make you feel like shit.......and that's without factoring in the "after" guilt.

For a brief moment today, I actually thought about having an alcoholic beverage to numb the cravings.   Is that not nuts?    (after 2 beers,  I can't feel my lips... so, yeah, that would work for me)    BUT, it's not healthy and I want to be healthy, both mentally and physically.  So, I'm drinking water instead.

I know the triggers; I know why I'm craving these things.  I had an "off" weekend, TOM is just around the corner, and my hubby's in NYC this week so my stress level is up a bit.   You'd think that being able to identify the reasons behind the feelings would help me to be logical and not give in to getting the fix.   But, it ain't helpin'.... and 2 "planned, calorie-counted, justified" marshmallows become 4, and so on.

Tomorrow, we'll see how sugarfree gum works as my "patch".  *sigh* 

Getting back on track

This past weekend, I went camping with my 9-year-old daughter's Girl Scout troop.   We had a great time and squeezed in a couple of short hikes, so I can count that as "some" exercise.   Food-wise, however, I didn't stay on plan at all.   There was no way to take the JC food with me, not even the shelf-stable stuff, so this weekend was full of delicious, calorie-laden camp-out foods, including S'mores and peach cobbler that we made in a dutch oven.  I did my best to moderate portions, but it wasn't easy!

So, needless to say, the scale showed a tiny gain of .8 ozs. today.   But, I earned every ounce, so if it goes away by WI day, great!  If not, then so be it.  I can accept a gain when I deserve it!  

I don't think I'll be able to make it to Jazzercise this week since my hubby's in NYC until Friday, so I may try to do the Turbo Jam that's on the "exercise on demand" channel.   (Thanks to Divine Loser for pointing that out!)   We'll see how it goes.

Anyhoo, I've got to get moving because I want to take the baby to get her pictures taken...which means I need to get myself dressed, too!

Have a great day!

One goal down.... (!!)

.... 7 more to go!

At the beginning of this lifestyle change process, I listed some fitness goals for myself.   Today, I can proudly say that I have fulfilled one of them!!!

This morning I took both of my dogs out for a bike ride.   I took the natural "runner" first and was out with her for about 40 minutes.  After that, I took the second dog out for about 30 minutes, a bit shorter time because she gets tired more quickly.    (She's a lot like me - she gains weight easily, she'd prefer to be a lazy, indoor dog, and isn't too keen on endurance sports.)

Anyway, so that put me at over an hour on the bike.....and I DO NOT have sore legs or a sore butt!!   Yahoo!!     So, in my previous list, Goal #2 is met - riding at a moderate pace for at least 1 hour!

I feel happy and rejuvenated and I'm still planning on attending one of the afternoon Jazzercise classes that I listed on my exercise schedule.

Making changes is a GOOD thing!    

Huh.

So, when you are feeling bloated and nasty, it's because you ARE bloated and nasty.  

In reaction to my nasty weigh-in yesterday (yes, I know it was only a pound.. lol), I had extreme urges to go into the kitchen and wolf down anything and everything I could find there.   Fortunately, I didn't give in, but instead stuck to the plan, and tried to get in some extra water.

Today, that paid off.   Yesterday's phantom pound is gone, plus another, so I'm feeling quite relieved this morning and ready to go to Jazzercise.  (I skipped yesterday's class, so I need to make that up today.)

Ahh.. and I didn't have to lie to my JCC.   I accidentally left my cell phone in the car and ran out to get it about 3 minutes after she called.  So, we rescheduled for today and I WON'T have a gain on my record.   Yay!

If I stay on track this week, I should be in the "20s" next week and I haven't been there since 2003, so that's an exciting milestone for me!

I hope everyone else is having a great week.... here's to moving DOWNWARD and onward!   (*toasting you all with my morning glass of water*)

Well, this just blows!

Ok, so Week 1 of using an exercise schedule and following the food plan as closely as possible didn't work out so well for me.

I got in all the exercise listed, except that I only did 15 minutes of interval running/jogging on Friday because my baby wasn't exactly being patient and cooperative.  (I'll have to drop her off at the sitter's to get in my time, I guess.)  Food-wise, I followed the plan to a "t" Monday through Friday, but Saturday through Monday I was travelling and wasn't able to have JC meals the whole time.  So, I know that was working against me, but until this week I've always been able to have a few meals "off-plan" and still have consistently lost weight.

Today, however, I'm UP one pound and I'm seriously thinking about NOT telling my JCC when she calls today.   I think I may just tell her there was no loss and I remained steady 'cause I don't want a GAIN on my record! 

Putting it all in perspective, though, according to my scale I HAVE lowered my body fat percentage this week, which is great!  Also, I feel bloated and nasty and even mentioned to my husband last night that I felt like I had gained 20 lbs. in one weekend. 

So, no doubt, I'm retaining fluids because of all the driving I was doing.....and I just may have added a little muscle last week.   Hopefully, all that will translate into lower numbers on the scale again next week.

So far, so good!

Today is Day #2 of using my exercise schedule and all is going well.

Yesterday, I went to Jazzercise as planned, but today I modified a bit.   I ended up taking the dogs for a 20-minute walk at 5:30 AM this morning.  They were so excited that they were hard to control, so I decided that the walk would have to be a "warm-up."   To finish up, I took each dog for a short ride around the neighborhood - about 10 minutes each.   The dogs really needed more, but I had to get kids ready for school.

After getting the kids off to school, I came home and put in 20 minutes on the treadmill - walking 4 minutes at 20 min./mile and jogging 1 minute at 12 min./mile.   Yeah, yeah.  I know that's pretty slow and not much jogging, but I've got to start somewhere.

Overall, I think I got in some pretty good cardio this morning, and while I was on the treamill, I thought it might be a good idea to switch out Friday's 45-minute bike ride with more interval walking/jogging since that's what I really need to work on.

Ahh.. and on that note, I've pretty much committed myself to doing a 5K on December 2nd.   I won't be doing the "timed" race since I'm not good at it.... not even decent.  But, I'll register to do the run/walk and be at the back of the pack with the baby stroller in hand.    I think that's a great way to start, don't you?