Still alive

Hey, everybody.  I'm just checking in....I'm still alive, just busy and not altogether on track.

After 3 weeks of sitting at the same weight, despite increasing my exercise . . . I had a bit of a breakdown.   I just ate and ate and ate.  I was hungry - physically and emotionally.   I was at 207 yesterday which was down a bit from last week.  Overall, I haven't gone up a lot even though I've eaten huuuge amounts of food and have been getting in virtually no exercise.  (I went a week and a half without doing any exercise at all other than sitting my butt down on the couch!)  So.  I guess that's good, at least.

I'll try to post here more often again to see if that helps turn me back around.  Read you all soon!

Shopping

I've known for some time that I've been hiding behind the fat, but I don't think it's ever been slapped in my face quite as much as it was on Tuesday.

Tuesday was my last day "off" for this school year since I've taken on another long-term substitute position for a friend of mine who's having a baby.  So, I decided to take advantage of my day by going shopping for new clothes.

I decided I'd go to the new Marshall's down the street that just opened up because I've never been in a Marshall's before.... (and with 3 kids, discounts are always welcomed).   I walked into the store and looked around.  I spotted the women's clothing and found the sections on the racks where I thought I might find something of interest.    BUT.... something didn't "feel" right.   So, I left.    I was in that store for a whopping 4 minutes.

So, what did I do next?   I drove to the Lane Bryant on the other side of the shopping plaza.   (?!?)

When I walked into Lane Bryant, I felt safe.  Comfortable.  I happily looked through clothing racks and was extremely pleased to find out that I could wear the smallest size in the store.  Yay!     But, that also means I could have easily found something in another store - one that isn't for "fat ladies."   (I've always called Lane Bryant "the fat ladies' store".... and I'm allowed to do that because I'm fat.  )

I left Lane Bryant with a few things in hand, asking myself over and over:  Why did you come here when you could have found clothes somewhere else?   Why come to the very store that you're trying to shrink out of - especially when you've finally almost done it?!?   Why did you feel so uncomfortable in Marshall's... why not stay there longer?

I went over to Target and tried to make myself look for something in the "regular" sections.  And, again, I felt extremely uncomfortable.  I just knew people were looking at me thinking, "What's she doing over here?  She can't wear anything in these sizes!"  The sad thing is that I CAN wear regular sizes now.  Sure, I'm not into a 10 or 12, even... but I can wear the larger sizes of the "regular" clothes.

The fact that I felt that way was very sad to me and I realized that there are sooo many underlying psychological issues.  So many, in fact, that I don't even want to begin to write about them. 

But, right now, I am going to make a public vow to myself  -

I will NOT go into a Lane Bryant again, unless it is for the specific purpose of buying a bra.  (I like theirs!)  

I will own my spot in the "regular" clothing section and I will be proud!  I've earned my place there!!

Feed the Knead....

I did... I moved my buns on Sunday.   They were movin' a bit more slowly than I would have liked, but at least they were movin'!   

Pictures:  The 2008 Schlotzsky's Bun Run T-shirt (above) and the Schlotzsky's mascots (below)... I have no idea what the dinosaur is all about... maybe I should to go Schlotzsky's more often.

 The folks like me (fun runners/walkers) got started around 8:15 AM.  This run wasn't quite as well organized as the Cap10K and there were fun runners mixed in with the timed runners, but oh well.   If you're a timed runner, my feeling is that you should be good enough by that point to maneuver around the slow pokes like me.  LOL   (My husband and I moved to the side after taking this picture so as to not be in the gazelles' way.)

The race course for this even was very similar to the Cap10K, starting just south of Town Lake (now called Ladybird Lake) and going up Congress Avenue until reaching the Capitol Building.   The 5K course looped around the Capitol Building grounds forcing me to tackle a few hills yet again.  Fortunately, though, we missed the HUGE hills on 15th Street this time.

Here's a picture of one of the moderate hills that we encountered.

If you look closely, you can see that all of the people ahead of me are slanting upwards... forever.   I told my husband that I was really getting sick of the hills and he promised that the next race we'd do would not be one through downtown and would be flatter.  LOL  (BTW, if you think I'm exaggerating about the hills, ask txlass what she thought about them on the Capitol 10K course!)

Anyhoo, I jogged some and walked a lot more than I had wanted.  But, my husband said that my pace was faster (I guess because I wasn't talking someone's ear off... sorry, txlass. ) even during the walking portions.  So, I guess that's progress and that's what counts, right?

I was really glad to see this finish line and have my 2nd racing event behind me.  We ended up finishing right at 45 minutes which is around an average of 15 minutes per mile.  So sad.  That's supposed to be a walking pace for a fit person, but it's a jog for me!

As we got closer to the finish line, I couldn't help but laugh at all the people "suddenly" start jogging as they saw the end in sight.   I told my husband that was stupid... acting as if we'd all been jogging the whole time.  But, after we got the pic, we did the same.    When in Rome, you know....    

Wednesday Happenings

Well, I was just typing up a super long (read: verbose) post and for whatever reason, the screen refreshed and I lost everything I had typed.  While that was frustrating, I'm too lazy to rewrite the entire thing, so I'll try to make this one shorter.

First things first, I was expecting a good treadmill workout today by doing the 3rd workout of Week 6 of the C25K.  But, my body would have no part of that.  I couldn't jog for more than 2 minutes without feeling like I was going to die.  (That's only a slight exaggeration.)  So, since my body decided we wouldn't go "faster and shorter," I decided that we'd go "slower but longer."   (Yes, I referred to myself as "we".... my body and mind are separate entities and often have differing opinions about what "we" are capable of doing at any given time.  LOL)

Anyway, since I couldn't have longer jogging intervals, I decided to play with the incline and kept it between 2% and 5% for most of the time.  I ended up staying on the treadmill for 45 minutes which wasn't as long as I would have liked, but the garage was hot and I was sweating like a pig, so....    But, I burned around 400 calories and I think that's respectable, regardless of the amount of time I was on the treadmill.

Part of me feels like today's workout was a setback, but I know that it most likely has to do with the fact that I've not slept well for the past couple of nights.  My 9-year-old has been running a fever since Monday, so I've been worrying about and tending to her since then.  Her fever finally let up just around 1 AM last night, so I stayed up and got her a bite to eat since she hadn't eaten since breakfast on Monday.   Fortunately, she woke up fever-free today. 

The good thing about today's workout was that I wore my new, size 9 shoes.  I had tried an 8.5, one size larger than normal, but I felt the toe box squeezing on my feet... (either they were cut much more narrowly than my other shoes or I'm just much more sensitive to it)......so I went up to a 9.  My toes thanked me for the extra room!  Even my already injured toe weathered today's workout unscathed - no redness or pain afterwards.  Yay! 

On another good note, tonight or tomorrow I have to go through my closet yet again to purge it of any clothes that are... too BIG.... so that I can easily see exactly what I have to wear which I think amounts to 2 or 3 shirts, 1 pair of jeans, 2 pair of slacks, and 1 pair of shorts.... and the slacks and jeans are getting looser each day.   LOL   That's such a strange feeling.     

I think Tuesday I'll be spending some of my husband's quarterly bonus on new clothes!  (I don't remember ever feeling this excited about clothes shopping before!)  

Ok, well, this turned out to be longer than expected..... I guess I wasn't too lazy to rewrite the whole post after all.    Have a great evening!!

Checking In

After a few days of having the scale "tell" me that I had gained anywhere from 2 to 4 pounds, things settled to where they were supposed to be on Friday.  I showed a 2 lb. loss at Jenny Craig that afternoon, and today those 2 lbs. were missing from my scale, too! 

My body has clearly been reeling from the 10K and strength training, but that's okay!  Even with the added mystery pounds, my clothes were fitting better...and pretty soon I'll have to go down another size.  But, the coolest thing is that I recently got 2 shirts and NEITHER of them were from the "plus-size" section!  That's the best feeling!!  I haven't worn "regular" clothes since 1994!

I've decided to modify my exercise schedule a little and give myself another day off today.  My left big toe is all screwed up from the 10K and I'll most likely lose my toenail.  I had warned my husband that he needed larger shoes, but when it came down to it, I couldn't face spending the money to get my own.  LOL   Soo, that coupled with toenails that were too long (for running) have given me a case of "runner's toe."   I have runner's toe!  Who'd have ever thunk it??!         LOL      

At least it's a mild case of runner's toe - my toenail isn't black, just a little gray.  And while it's not going to be pretty for the next few months, I'll proudly take it as proof that I'm making the changes necessary to have the lifestyle and body that I want.  

Ok, y'all... I'm off for now.  Have a super Sunday!

Exercise Schedule

In an effort to stay on track with my fitness goals, I'm posting another schedule that leads up to the Schlotzsky's 5K Bun Run on April 13th.  I've signed up for the Personal Touch class at Jazzercise this month, so I have to work those in, as well as a few 'wogging' sessions between now and then.  So, here goes:

April

1. Jazzercise (1 hour) / Personal Touch class (30 mins.)
2. Rest
3. Jazzercise / PT class
4. Wog  - week 6, C25K
5. Rest
6. Wog
7. Rest
8. Jazzercise / PT class
9. Rest
10. Jazzercise / PT class
11. Wog
12. Rest
13. 5K Bun Run

I don't have as many wogging sessions as I'd like or should, but I've learned that I do need to give my body rest.  Also, since I've already paid for the Jazzercise and the PT classes, I ought to go.   It is what is - that's 4 days of exercise per week....and depending on how I feel, I may decide to do Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred on a "rest" day for good measure.  But, I'm not going to commit to it.

Weight-wise, I'm really concerned about this week.  I KNOW that I did not eat enough calories this weekend to gain the amount of weight the scale is telling me.  (I did add everything up.)    My feeling is that it's mostly fluid retention from excess sodium and muscle growth since I have done the 30-Day Shred twice and the PT session this week....on top of the 10K.  So, we shall see what Friday brings, but in the meantime, I'll be trying to get in some extra water.

Alrighty, I think that's it for now.  I'm off to check on some of you.... hope you're having a great week! 

Buckling down

Ok, I've been really off-track with my eating since Saturday.   I allowed myself some indulgences on Saturday and Sunday since I knew I'd be burning serious calories during the 10K.   (Txlass' HRM showed around 1500 calories burned, so I know I would have been in that range, too...maybe a few less.)   So, I didn't really have to worry about what I was eating.

Yesterday, however, was just pure stupidity.  I was on track for the day, until we decided that our evening routine was too hectic and nobody wanted to cook..... so we ordered pizza.  Dang it!   I still cannot control how much of it I eat..... or I don't control it.  Anyway, I probably ate about 3,000 calories in pizza alone, plus all of the "on plan" food I had eaten that day.  (I haven't checked because, frankly, the numbers don't lie and I don't want to know.  LOL)

So, I've decided to blog it, own it, and buckle down.  I will not eat anything that doesn't fall into my eating plan for the rest of the week. 

Nothing I've done is undoable.... unless I choose to let it be so.

An Answer to TravelGirl's Question . . .

Andrea N. asked when my next race was....well, apparently it's on April 13th!

My husband has apparently COMPLETELY lost his mind and has registered us for the Schlotzsky's 5K Bun Run.

I'm excited about it... mostly because I think the little buns on the t-shirts are cute (is that not silly?).    Hopefully, I'll be able to jog a little more, too!

However, I will be thinking about a few other people participating in events that day.   I guess about the time I finish the 5K, Stacey, Shelley, and Andrea N. will be starting the Sacramento Zoo Zoom 10K.  So, it's going to be an exciting day!   

We did it!!

  Txlass and I wogged a 10K!! 

But, we didn't do it alone...    

I have no idea how many people registered and participated in the event, but as you can see - there were a butt load of people there! 

It was little 'hairy' at first, trying  to keep our group together -  my hubby, son, Andie, and I - while at the same time trying to weave through and carve out our space among the multitude of other runners and walkers.  Nonetheless, we ended up jogging about halfway to the Capitol, even with rain pelting me in the face.  (Yes, I was a total dumb butt and left my cap in the car.)  Fortunately, though, we never had to face a downpour - just alternating bouts of drizzle and sprinkles for the first half of the event.

The Mile 1 marker appeared right in front of the Capitol Building... and while Andie and my husband were excited to see it  - "we've already gone a mile!" - I thought, "Really?   We've only gone a mile?!"  But, I knew I had to keep plugging away at it.  

Just after the Mile 1 marker we turned east (right), in front of the Capitol and immediately hit the first elevation change of the race.  Needless to say we walked through it.  However, more hills came in quick succession....tougher ones that challenged us not only to keep going, but also to just keep our feet under our bodies (rain paved streets hills = danger!).  Miles 2 and 3 passed by fairly quickly since we were focused on getting up and down the hills.... but we soon realized that we had already done a 5K!  

After that, it was, quite literally, all downhill.  In fact, it was so "downhill" that I was tempted to sit on my butt and just slide!  (Doesn't that seem like more fun?) It was also about that time that I realized that I had made a mistake by not getting a larger pair of shoes.  My big & 2nd toes were bumping up against the front of my shoe and it was pretty darn uncomfortable.   But, I wasn't going to use that as an excuse to stop.

The next thing I knew, we were getting water and the volunteers said, "Good job!  Just 1.5 miles to go!"    That's it?!  1.5 miles - I can totally do that!, I thought. 

I took this picture just after the Mile 5 marker...... Look!  It's nice and flat. 

Not too long after this picture,  I made another "newbie" mistake.  I had brought along some Pria bars and a couple of protein bars, just in case.

Well, sure enough, about the time we were making the bend in the street in the above picture, my stomach starting growling and I was feeling a little weak.... not "bad," but I knew if I didn't remedy the situation, I'd be feeling bad soon.  So, I pulled out a Pria bar and shared my snacks with Andie and my son.

Oops!   Since I personally had never done an event like this before, I just assumed that the nausea (and full-on vomiting fits) that I've read about wouldn't happen to me - that's for people really exerting themselves by running a marathon or something.   NOT.  About 4 minutes after I had happily consumed the Pria bar.....I could feel it...... working it's way up for round 2.    What a nasty feeling!   Fortunately, there was a water station just waiting for me (they must have known!) and drinking more water put my snack back where it was supposed to be.

Suddenly (yes, just like magic!), we could see the Capitol, the Frost Bank Tower... and Andie's hotel.   We were almost done!!

We finished the 10K in about 1 hour and 40 minutes.  So, yes, there was a lot of walking involved, but who cares?!   We did it - we completed a 10K..... AND we weren't last - there were hundreds of people coming in after us, even after we had gotten our complimentary waters and snacks!

I had so much fun!   I'm looking forward to the next one!    Life is good, people! 

Andie and I after the race. 

(I'm the dork on the left without a hat.... and the boy in the lower right is my son.... who thought he was being super cool by sneaking into the shot.) 

Down .8

That's almost a pound . . . and I'll gladly take it, especially during a TOM week!

I'm going to meet up with txlass today for lunch.  I can't wait!

Enjoy your Saturday!!