That's how I'm feeling right now. I'd love to be able to say "I'm back," but the last time I did that... I wasn't really back. Although, now that I've actually gained back some weight, I may be more motivated to get my butt back in gear. We'll see.
I did go to Jazzercise yesterday for the first time since July (I ditched going there at the same time I ditched extrapounds....hmm). I had fun, but it was rough. I could definitely FEEL what 3 months of being a sloth has done to me. I honestly feel as badly as I did at 260-something pounds. I also went for a short walk with my hubby tonight. Tomorrow, I'll go to Jazzercise again, no matter what - no excuses.
I haven't even begun to tackle my shitty eating habits. I've had ice cream or some other treat every day since July. Plus, Diet Coke has been my "water" since then as well. This week I'm trying to drink more water, so that at least the amount of water I drink equals the amount of Diet Coke I drink. LOL... Ok, I know that sounds absurd, but it would actually be progress at this point.
Ok, this one's short & sweet. I'm off to read others' posts.....I need some reminders that it CAN be done.
Normally, "year in review" posts are reserved for the end of the calendar year. But, since I've been distracted and unmotivated, I thought it might be time to review what's changed in the past year.
I "called Jenny" on June 23, 2007 and had my first weigh-in 1 year ago today - July 3, 2007. Prior to the call, I had tipped the scales at 264 pounds. Ouch! Today, I officially weighed 51 pounds less, even with the extra 5 pounds I gained over the past two weeks. (Can I give myself credit for the 264 WI being a BAN, morning weight... and the 213 WI today was a 4:30 PM, clothed WI??!)
I consider that to be a success! Maybe I should've, could've, would've lost more if I had done X, Y, or Z. But, it's counter-productive to think that way...and it also diminishes what I have accomplished.
So, instead of doing that, I'm going to review the fitness goals that I set for myself last summer:
Participate in a 5K run/walk (even if I finish last) DONE
Ride a bike for 1 hour at a moderate pace without my legs & butt getting sore DONE
Swim laps without sounding like a panting dog afterwards
5K run/walk... and do reasonably well (not last!) DONE
Ride a bike vigorously for 1 hour
10K run... and finish Ran/walked a 10K - need to improve
Participate in the Danskin Women's Triathlon... and finish
Take Trapezeee lessons!
So, this year I will work on goals 3, 5, 6, and 7.
(The trapeze lessons are expensive and will be a "reward" to myself for reaching my goal weight.....if I'm not 85 by that time. LOL)
In addition to being eating terribly lately, I've also been completely unmotivated to exercise. In part due to some injuries that just will not heal completely, but also ..... just 'cause. SO, tomorrow morning I will drag my hiney out of bed and get on my bike. That's just the way it's going to be - unless my hubby convinces me to do the July 4th 5K in our neighborhood. Either way, I'm doing something!
HAVE A HAPPY& SAFE4th OF JULY!!
(Cheesy, I know.... gray was as close as I could get and still have it be legible!)
Well, since my unexpected loss on June 6th, I've experienced expected gains. I think I've gained anywhere between 8-10 pounds in 27 days. Most people might think, "OMG! That's a lot of weight in a short amount of time!" My response would be, "Yes.... yes, it is." And that's all I can say.
It all started with a trip to visit family in early June and has just gone downhill from there. I started going to my Master Reading Teacher classes on June 20th (classes that will allow me to become a Reading Specialist in my school district - it's not a Master's degree, but rather an alternative certification to a Master's with a specialization in reading)........ and my 10-year-old daughter was bitten in the face by a Doberman Pinscher on that same day after I had returned home from class. Needless to say, it's been really easy to fall back into those stress-eating habits.
I have to say that my daughter, K., was very lucky, as were we all. The Doberman is a dog that we've "known" for 9 years. Both my son and daughter have previously pet the dog and played with him. Even so, as I sent my daughter out to check the mail and saw the neighbor walking his dog, I told her, "Leave the Doberman alone today... just go get the mail and come right back." I just had a slightly uneasy feeling and, for a millisecond, even thought about keeping her in the house until the Doberman was on his way back home. But, I didn't because I decided that I was just being paranoid.
So, K. happily went to check the mail and while I was opening up a yogurt for my almost 2-year-old, I heard someone pitifully crying, "Mooommyyy, Mooommyy...." I looked around behind me and thought, "No, that's not E...." Then, I realized that it was coming from the other side of the front door and I was sure that K. had fallen down in the street and skinned her knee (she's accident-prone, like her mom.)
But, what I saw when I opened the door left me speechless and shocked. She had, of course, ignored my instructions and greeted the neighbor and his dog. While petting the dog, he apparently became irritated or uneasy and lunged at her face....with his mouth open. It was very evident where one upper canine hit between her eyebrows and sliced open her forehead (about 1.5"), a lower canine sliced open her lower lip, and there was even a perfectly shaped incisor cut on her nose, right between her eyes. Clearly, he wasn't intending to attack her, per se, because if he had.... he would have ripped off her nose! So, I think it was a "snap" gone awry.
She's going to have scars, but her facial structures are intact and I'm extreeemely grateful for that. Also, while she has had a couple of nightmares since then, I don't think she's going to have a lasting fear of dogs. But, she may be less inclined to deal with "big" dogs....and, frankly, at this point I'm "ok" with that.
Now, whatever your feelings towards 'big' dogs may be, please don't leave anti-Doberman/Rottweiler/Pit Bull comments. I don't condemn an entire breed based on the temperment or improper training of one. There are many people who've had wonderful experiences with these breeds, including me. That said, I haven't absolved the owner of responsibility, either. I will be submitting the medical bills to their insurance company.
*sigh*
Aside from all that, my classes are going wonderfully. On August 2nd, I'll take the certification exam. Yippee!
I go to JC tomorrow...and I think I'll just get on the scale backwards or close my eyes. I don't care to know how the stress has translated into more.. extrapounds. (LOL)
It wasn't much, but a loss is a loss! I went from 209.2 at JC last week to 208.6 this week. That is a clothed, afternoon WI people! My BAN weight was, of course, lower this morning.
Now, if I had been on plan all week, that would have been a disappointing weigh-in. BUT, my anniversary was last week and I don't think the fancy, calorie-laden meal with wine, followed by lavender ice cream was covered in the JC plan. LOL And perhaps I shouldn't even mention the Peanut Butter Parfait from Dairy Queen. Plus, I can't say that even during the week I was on plan 100% as there were a couple of trips to get fast food during the hectic last 3 days of school.
My goal for the summer is to lose 10 lbs. I really, really want to get to Onederland before the 2008-09 school year starts. I can only hope that my body is now ready to let go of a few more pounds.
My husband, Kevin, and I had a FABULOUS weekend in Fredericksburg, TX. We stayed in a little cottage which is loosely called a "bed and breakfast." Breakfast wasn't served on site, but we did get a coupon that we could use at a handful of local eateries. They did provide coffee, a fridge, a microwave, and a few snacks at check-in. All in all, it was wonderful - it was cozy, romantic and my favorite memories will be those that I couldn't mention in the guest book.
Pictures: Bella Rose Cottage & Courtyard
We arrived at the cottage on Friday night and enjoyed a good night's sleep after a long week at work. Saturday we slept late, got breakfast around 10 AM and went hiking at Enchanted Rock. It took us only 15 minutes to reach the summit, but we ended up hiking around for about 2 hours. All of the climbing really did a number on my legs - I was exhausted & my calves are relatively sore today! I burned around 1300 calories, so I was pretty pleased with that!
Picture: Hubby & me at the summit of Enchanted Rock
After our hike, we cleaned up and went shopping downtown. Later that night, we went to a nice restaurant and actually had a romantic dinner complete with a bottle of wine! I think the last time we did that was in 2000, so it was really nice.
Pictures: Hubby & me, all gussied up
So, now that we've gotten all of the celebrations out of the way, it's time to get back to business. Tomorrow I'll be on plan 100% and if my legs and sunburned arms aren't killing me, I'll get in some treadmill work.
Here's one last pic of me.... in a size 16.... shocking!
Ok, y'all.... I started reading some posts last night and was going to respond, but I ended up just reading and then falling asleep on the couch during the replay of General Hospital on SoapNet.
Today I had a weigh-in at JC and I was down 2.6 lbs from last Friday! Can I get a "wooot!" ??! The weight I'm showing here was my BAN weight last Friday and was my official JC, clothed, late-afternoon weigh in today!
After my weeks of plateau, followed by weeks of "off-plan" eating and no exercise, I woke up on Monday morning with a desire to move. So, despite the fact that it would cause me to be late for a shopping date with my sister, I hopped on the treadmill for 40 minutes. Then, yesterday, I went to Jazzercise and in the middle of the 2nd routine, thought, " Oh, yeah... this is why I started coming here - it's fun!"
My eating has been spot on for the past few days and will be tomorrow as well since it's a weigh-in day. This weekend will be another story, though, because my hubby & I will be celebrating our 15th anniversary at a bed & breakfast in Fredericksburg. We'll get in some exercise by hiking at Enchanted Rock on Saturday afternoon, but I'm positive that celebratory eating will handily cancel out any exercise I get in. C'est la vie!
Oh, yes.. and somehow I was able to work out some negative emotions by whining to my JC counselor last week. She helped me to put the plateau issue back into perspective....and that has motivated me to push forward. Yay!! Besides that, I've been more open with work colleagues about how I've lost weight and I really would like to be a good "advertisement" for Jenny Craig. So, if I want the program to work, I've got to work the program. If I don't do my part, people will think the JC plan is a failure... when really it could just be me failing myself.
Okie dokie, I'm off to check on you gals. I don't think I'll post again until next week, so have a great weekend!!
Hey, everybody. I'm just checking in....I'm still alive, just busy and not altogether on track.
After 3 weeks of sitting at the same weight, despite increasing my exercise . . . I had a bit of a breakdown. I just ate and ate and ate. I was hungry - physically and emotionally. I was at 207 yesterday which was down a bit from last week. Overall, I haven't gone up a lot even though I've eaten huuuge amounts of food and have been getting in virtually no exercise. (I went a week and a half without doing any exercise at all other than sitting my butt down on the couch!) So. I guess that's good, at least.
I'll try to post here more often again to see if that helps turn me back around. Read you all soon!
I've known for some time that I've been hiding behind the fat, but I don't think it's ever been slapped in my face quite as much as it was on Tuesday.
Tuesday was my last day "off" for this school year since I've taken on another long-term substitute position for a friend of mine who's having a baby. So, I decided to take advantage of my day by going shopping for new clothes.
I decided I'd go to the new Marshall's down the street that just opened up because I've never been in a Marshall's before.... (and with 3 kids, discounts are always welcomed). I walked into the store and looked around. I spotted the women's clothing and found the sections on the racks where I thought I might find something of interest. BUT.... something didn't "feel" right. So, I left. I was in that store for a whopping 4 minutes.
So, what did I do next? I drove to the Lane Bryant on the other side of the shopping plaza. (?!?)
When I walked into Lane Bryant, I felt safe. Comfortable. I happily looked through clothing racks and was extremely pleased to find out that I could wear the smallest size in the store. Yay! But, that also means I could have easily found something in another store - one that isn't for "fat ladies." (I've always called Lane Bryant "the fat ladies' store".... and I'm allowed to do that because I'm fat. )
I left Lane Bryant with a few things in hand, asking myself over and over: Why did you come here when you could have found clothes somewhere else? Why come to the very store that you're trying to shrink out of - especially when you've finally almost done it?!? Why did you feel so uncomfortable in Marshall's... why not stay there longer?
I went over to Target and tried to make myself look for something in the "regular" sections. And, again, I felt extremely uncomfortable. I just knew people were looking at me thinking, "What's she doing over here? She can't wear anything in these sizes!" The sad thing is that I CAN wear regular sizes now. Sure, I'm not into a 10 or 12, even... but I can wear the larger sizes of the "regular" clothes.
The fact that I felt that way was very sad to me and I realized that there are sooo many underlying psychological issues. So many, in fact, that I don't even want to begin to write about them.
But, right now, I am going to make a public vow to myself -
I will NOT go into a Lane Bryant again, unless it is for the specific purpose of buying a bra. (I like theirs!)
I will own my spot in the "regular" clothing section and I will be proud! I've earned my place there!!
)