03/07/2009 16:21
192lbs lighter and a crazy doc that saved me.
Today I am 192lbs lighter and it has taken me 9 months and alot of hard work. I am blogging this information because when I started I think I read ever post about how to lose the weight and count the calories and do this and do that.
Thanks to those people I am here today and thanks to myself I did all the hard work. My god I would never have said that 2 months ago let alone 9 months ago but I am saying it today and I am saying loud and proud.
Where do I really beginn to start this story was it when my sister died or my nephew was attacked or when I was in the hospital because I had a stroke at 37 small but still a stroke.
NO I think I am going to say it started the day i said you know what F the world I have the right to be happy just like everyone eles or at lease fake it like a lot of people do but I couldn't even do that.
So we see the really thin moms with 5 kids wrapped around her say my god how does she look that good? We say its the kids that keep her thin'RIGHT' it the ADDERAL in her purse she takes to be able to watch that many kids that keeps her thin. Yes I said and I can say it again. Or is it the great looking guy that has a body of a GOD and we say he must be in the gym every day if only i could do that . S--t no alot of them are on so many steroids they dont know if there coming or going.
What I am trying to say is everyone has some kind of drug of choice yes everyone and your kidding yourself if you say LIKE I SAID I dont drink,smoke,do drugs, my GOD you would think I could have been a noun except what i was not saying is that I drink 12 cokes aday and eat one pizza like a piece and dont let me see cheese cake I would eat whole thing and all the late night delivery of food you think I was a hooker with all the people that showed up at my door all hours of the day' Thought my neighor might really think that' well getting back to everyone having there own drug of choice. Well my friends here at EP ours is food and we all know and if we are still trying to say I think its more if I just eat a little healthier YEA get out of here. We have all been saying that for years and we are going to start tomorrow or I bought the fat free so am doing a little better. SORRY guys it does not work that way and I was n the same dream world and thought the same things. Until my great DOC and coach same person said Deb please take a seat in my office and lets have a chat. I was like ok he a really nice old doc' 55' Like thats old I think he will be alive after he dies.
So it was just a few weeks after I started my life change and I had dropped a few pounds and I was thinking I am doing great and I have not cheated everything is going to be ok. BOY was I wrong. We get in his office and starts off by saying you are off to a start not a good start but still a start I was thinking he been my doc for awhile is he taking some good meds;SMILE' i said what do you mean he had my atteion then and still does today. He said Deb I went on that site you told me about EP yes this one and he said DEB can we be really honest we each other and I do mean really honest I said sure I have always like that. Let me take that back I like to try to be honest except when it came to myself because I just didnt care.
He said DEB I think it great that there is site out there where people with the same problems can talk to each other but I can also say in the same breath that they are going to bring each other down and until they can be honest with themselves they will fail he said over 70 percent and to be honest he has keeped up with this site alot more often then I even thought. He said he took down 30 names of just ramdon people and to this day I dont know who they are or but he told me Firday when I went in for check up that he was sorry that the sucess rate is even lower then that. I htink i am getting you guys a little confussed My doc and I have had alot of talks over the last 9 months my last being Friday and 1st real one is the one i am talking about above.
Ok so when I started and we had this little chat in his office he said Deb I looked at your profile and I found a few problems I as thhinking what did i miss spell I do that alot I am sure you can tell by reading this. He said Deb why is there a cute little pic of a dog as your pic and why is my weight not in lbs and why is my goal not even close to what I need ot lose. I said what do yu mean he said what are you tying to tell the people you guys that you dont weigh 400 ilbs and your not sa big as a house but you like them to support in your small weight lose. I did have to think on that one for a while but what I was really thinkig he is rude. He said Deb until you get honest with how much weight you need to loose and how you look today you will not make it.
Now I was getting a little upset I really thought I was off to this great start he telling me that I am already going to fail. I said in kind of a bad tone ok then what do I need to do to stay on track and change my life. HE said you have want to live and change and then your half way there. I was thinking i do think that and I said that to him he said no Deb you are still sugar coating how big the problem is. I then said fine I will do what ever you tell me to . GOD knows I had no idea how to do it.
He said great I thought you say that so I have this whole plan put together for you and if you just stick to it you will be a changed women in the year. I was thinking this doc has this whole plan to change me and when did he take the time to do this for me and how much is he billing my insurance.'SMILE I said OK Ilove to hear it. So he goes to his closet and pull out this pretty big box of stuff and said this box is going to change you . So he put the box down and started to pull things out the 1st being a pic of me in a bathing suit as big as a house. He ask me to bring in my worst picture of myself andthat the one I gave him.
He said i want you to put this pic up of you for all of the EP people to see. I said are you kidding he said why because you look like a beach whale I said I was not going to say that he said I need to do.He said you are not this cute dog or a pretty little flower or smile face you are a young women who is dying and you better start to understand that and excpet that you will be dead in the 3 years not maybe but just when. I was starting tocry he said good cry all you want just kep up with me."He handed me tissue' he then said here is a new outfit my wife picked out for you she thought it would look great on you. I said she can see me right this wont fit a barbie he said your right it much to big for a barbie but it will fit a size 12-14 women and I was like ok so what do I do with it now he said nail it to your closet wall or the front door I dont give a s--t just do it. He then handed he this huge pretty book that is my journel even today and he said ever day when you get up you are to write down what you did and eat the day before. I said the day before maybe I should write before I go to bed he said NONO NO you must do it in the am so after you write you can say wow I had a great day yestrday and I can do it again today. Then he hands me this small metal box that was a safe that you put money in but cont take out. I was thinking ok this must be for the money I am going to save on all the food I dont buy he said no it is foreveryday that I dont do what I need todo to make my life better. he said even if you eat great but dont do the following work out plan that he had put together for me that was the next item he pulled out. He said you have to put 5 dollars in the bank every day that you dont finsh. well really 10 dollars 5 for working out and 5 for eating right. I just said ok .
he then gives me a gift card to a PLUS size clothing store and said go buy a bathing suit and get your ass in the pool. I said this big right he said you got it right just do it. All I could think was what does a size 34 bathing suit look like. The next thing was tape measure to meausure how big I was all over he help me do that and I really cried. next was a list of thing not to do.
1. don;t count your calories
2. don't measure your food
3. dont join a diet food program
4. buy anything at all frozen ecept veggies plain and sugar free popciles
5. dont drink anything except plain water and diet lipton tea
6.dont let anyone in your home that is goingto put you at risk of dying
7.Dont not do the following things I just said above.
So this crazy list that went against everything I have heard and read. is going to change me . he said it going to let you live. I was ok I gues I cantry this now what do i do with all these things I bought for measuring and this diet food i bought from a program he said out them in the trash they will kill you.
He then went on to explain he crazy thinking to me. He said DEB why do oyu think your sister died of Lung cancer at 40 i said because she smoked he right i then said she tried alot of different things to stop over the years but nothing worked right Deb all the gum and patches and what ever they didnt work did they i said no. he said not from trying but because the stuff she was trying to to help her was a joke and why do oyu think they come out with something new all the time for helping to quite smoking becuase they want you to keep smoking just like the person that thought of weight watcher and the others one. He do you think they really want to help you get thin are you kidding they would go broke if everyone lost weight. they want you to eat as much as you can feel bad about yourself and come ever week to a meeting you pay for to tell everyone how in 3 weeks you lost 2 ilbs.
he sai d why do most people fail at rehabs center they pay alot of money to because there a joke. He said you get cry on nice coach and here this s--t about you work the prgram and the program will work for you and then give you the big book that you pay 100 dollars for or get a free one at a AA meeting.
I was like what are you saying. Are these the tricks that are going to help me lose the weight hesid DEB my whole point is there is no trick program you have to just do it. People dont live in the real world and count everything they eat the just dont do that he said if you dont have crap in your house to eat then you will eat only healthy things. i said well what about he PHEN you gave me he said Deb its apill that help trick your brain into thinking your not hungery and lets you learn how to eat right and how often. he said if you eat pizza while you were taking it it would not help in any way from keeping of the fat.
Ok guys I am ending this long post to just say in short I love my doc and I have not one time gained any weight in this journey. I have lost every week because I have no choice if I want to live. Living is something I very much want to do and know I can say that I can begin to do the things I missed.
There are no quick fixes to lose our weight we just have to give up our drug FOOD JUNK and if we slip and we all wll to get back up and try again. Guys we have the worst addiction that there is all other addictions you can totaly give up and live just fine not us we need food to live but what we dont have to do is live to eat.
So i have done everyting my doc said to ad now it is just habbit and I hope to keep it this way for ever but I know I cannever have cheese cake in my home or I will die. There is no if and or buts about it. We are kidding ourselves to think its ok to eat one cookie well please message me if you sliped and only eat one cooie when you did slip.
If any of you guys are wondering if I had any money in the box well as of friday I had over 500 dollsrs and I have not cheat with food once so yes it the exerices well it was in the start but its like brudhing my teeth i have to do it.
Please guys this is just my journey and I am very proud of everyone who is on here doing and going through what ever they need to to be the best them that they can be.This is just what is working for me and if it can help anyone then it was worthing writting and sorry all the bad spelling.
Have a great wekend everyone and keep up with your journey and goals to be the best you can be.
Debbie
