Facing the Music
Well, where to begin…
After a busy June, I seem to be hitting the ground running for July. Like many other bloggers July seemed to spark a recommittal on my part back to my healthy ways. I took a definite leave in June with my unexpected week away, and then the week at the cottage, working crazy hours, not working out like I had been in past months, and the end of it was our June long weekend. I had 2 pretty off plan days to end the month – first on a cross border day where I had planned to be bad, and the second day we went to a friend’s for a great afternoon BBQ, and I had a lot of wine to drink, and some delicious cheese I should have never read the nutritionals on. In the end I was up 12 pounds – how quickly they come, however I question how true they are as 7 are gone after only 1 week of being fully diligent with eating and half diligent with exercise. I would have been better on the exercise front but I’ve started to pick up overtime again so I can have more money to shop with in Utah. I also have many other wants and needs around the house that also require cash, and having the extra on hand will obviously make things a lot easier to do.
At being up 12 to an unsettling BAN of 162.0, I decided it was high time to bring back some rewards. I also decided I wanted to lose a realistic 20 to start and go from there. So, after my first 10-pound loss (though I’m tweaking that number a bit to be a little more than 10 gone to be 151.2) I will be going for a hair appointment. I had one booked for my first week of vacation, but had to cancel when it would have been while I was away. I’ll definitely be doing the cut, may consider some highlights as well because it’s been a while since I’ve had those done. The next 10-pound reward (at 141.2) requires a little bit of shopping. I had a great pink knit sweater that I used to love to pull on with *everything*. Unfortunately, one day at the gym I set it down on a bench in the change room and forgot it there when I left, and it’s never been seen since. So, I need to get a replacement. The replacement will be a Lululemon remix lulu hoodie in some shade of pink. I am confident I will reach my first goal before I leave for Utah and I plan to reach the second by the time we leave for Mexico in October.
The big thing for me is I just generally felt better psyche wise 10 pounds lighter than I am now. I loved how I felt hanging out at the 143-146 range. Maybe part of it was the lean-ness and how I liked how a lot of my clothes fit. At this stage in the game, /- 5 pounds makes a *huge* difference. I know another part of it was I felt like a true success and I feel less so now that I have let some creep back on – as evidenced by the fact that I have completely refused to update my weight graph to show me above goal again. Yes I am back at the Jenny maintaining range, but I’m not happy on this end of the range. It was relatively easy to maintain, the tough thing for me was getting back that low after last October’s Mexico trip, in fact I never did get back there. It was total complacency rather than doing the work that got me to there in the first place.
It’s time to face the music, and update the graph on both ends, as dreadfully hard as this is. I loved to watch my little line inch it’s way down to goal and then beyond, it’s time I start to make that happen again, and be true to myself with where my true goals really lie. What I didn’t point out, is my second 20 will bring me to the century club of an even 100 lost. So far I am doing these next I guess now 15 on my own, though I may go back to JC with DH. He has spent a lot of time struggling and I know that with that structure he excels. He is still at a point where he needs that structure, and with me cooking a lot during maintenance, the fixed structure doesn’t exist like it used to. He has other things going on as well that give him challenges that are far different than the ones I had to face, but I think it will be easier to support him if we are both on plan. Besides, I miss talking to Carm, and I’m starting to run low on bars – which I still love to have for days that I don’t feel like having my smoothie. Is that failure at maintaining? Not a chance! I’ve been on my own since January and have been just fine, and have lost 7 on my own without any JC food. I know I can be safe and can maintain where I want while I am preparing and portioning my own foods. I can also lose too 