January 28, 2006 - The other night I was talking to my brother about my success and as we were about to hang up he said “I’ll let you get back to losing weight now.” That echoed in my head for awhile and I realized that if I’m not doing anything else, then I am focusing on ways to improve the healthiness of my life.
I’ve replaced TV with music. First thing in the morning I listen to music that makes me feel like dancing, shaking my butt, doing the limbo, playing the air guitar or throwing my arms in the air like I’m rockin’ out at a concert. When I search for new music I also check out videos, then I try to move my hips like Shakira or shake my back side like Jessica Simpson. I also listen to music and dance around when I cook dinner, wash dishes, do laundry, etc. I sing too but I’m a little tone deaf and I can’t always figure out the words. My kids think I’m nuts. I get a lot of head shaking and eyes rolling. But my husband thinks it’s kind of sexy. And the sex is definitely better and much more comfortable.
I drink water all the time. If not plain water then Crystal Light, hot or cold decaffeinated teas or club soda with lime. My only problem is that I’ve got to pee a lot. I have to make a beeline for the bathroom every where I go. Movies are tough. Hopefully this will even out once my body realizes it’s not drowning. Of course running to the bathroom every so often burns extra calories. Plus my skin looks younger and suppler.
I created a sample menu and constantly update the food that I really like, especially when the family likes it too. Then I use it as a grocery list. I make better choices when I shop. I read labels and check the first five ingredients for sugars and oils. I look for high fiber and whole grains. Trans fat is completely out. I’ve noticed that my sweet tooth no longer plays a major role in selecting foods. I bought some frozen Lean Cuisines for lunch options but found my 9 year old daughter sharing them with her friends – their own little dinner party. We had a discussion about that.
I’ve tried to convert my family to eating the way I do. On most nights we sit at the table and eat salad with dinner. I’ve managed to switch them from potato chips with dip to Sun Chips with salsa, chocolate chip cookies to vanilla yogurt or the 100 calorie puddings, canned cream of chicken soup to homemade chicken soup with broth and veggies, creamy salad dressings to spritzers. But sometimes there is no budging…my 16 year old son and I argued because he “ain’t diggin’ the fat free milk.” “You’ll get used to it.” “No I won’t.” “Fine then don’t drink it.” “Fine then I won’t.” and he didn’t. The family likes 1% so I buy myself a ½ gallon of skim and get them a couple of gallons of 1%.
I’ve turned the TV off. Now I have time to do other things like prepare food for easy reach. I make salsa, bake chicken and boil eggs. Even when I’m rushed I can throw my daughter’s lunch together quickly - celery with peanut butter, a small container of vanilla yogurt, some nuts or a boiled egg, Sun Chips and bottled water.
I’ve started walking. Unfortunately, the further I go the less willing my dog is to go with me. This week I got to the ½ mile mark and tried to go further but my mutt sat down instead. He’s not a little dog. I tried pulling but so did he - in the opposite direction until his head slipped out of his collar. Then he started galloping home with me chasing after him frantically yelling “STOP.” Great exercise but not exactly what I had in mind. Doesn’t he understand I have goals? Without him I’ve increased my walk to two miles a day. I now realize that I can’t walk with people or pets.
I try to walk at least six days a week. The one day off is not planned. When I’m running short on time or the weather is treacherous, I take that day off. I make sure to walk every day for the rest of the week. I don’t let the cold weather hold me back. I dress in layers with a jacket and a hat. I warm up after about ¼ mile. If the wind is blowing I wear a face mask. My neighbor says I look like Jason from Friday the 13th. I knew the neighbors were watching me!
If there is no way to avoid a second day off, then I find other things to do around the house like walk the stairs until I can barely lift my legs. I’ve even walked around the outside of my house as fast as I can as many times as I can. I feel like Superman trying to reverse the rotation of the world. My neighbors probably think I have some kind of obsessive compulsive disorder. Once I attempted to pull out my old tae-bo tapes but my husband and I were arguing and he didn’t think it was a good idea. Hmm - maybe some other time.
Some things have nothing to do with weight loss, such as brushing my teeth twice a day (instead of once), using Crest White Strips and moisturizing my face after the shower and before bed. I tried not to scream when I caught my daughter slathering my $9 bottle of Oil of Olay all over her arms. Very casually she said, “Wow Mom, this stuff really works.” We had a discussion about that too.
By tweaking my changes and kicking my dog off my walking routine I’ve been able to lose another four pounds – the equivalent of ½ gallon of milk. I know these results aren’t typical but four weeks ago I had a lot of excess body fat and I didn’t have a plan. I know things will slow down but for now I’m thrilled about my 16 pound weight loss – the equivalent of a very large bowling ball.
January 21, 2007 - I am so sick of huffing and puffing! I take the stairs and I’m out of breath. I can’t keep up with my kids or my dogs. I go on field trips and end up bringing up the rear – my rear. I find myself following my husband instead of walking along side of him. I’m out of shape and I drag my fat ass everywhere. I see an ad for the Discovery Channel, a guy walking his basset hound while holding the leash from his car window and I can relate. I can’t seem to find the motivation to do anything about it.
I drop off my vehicle at Toyota for servicing and decide to walk across the street to the shopping center. I pick up a scale at Kohl’s, a few weight loss books from Borders and a hamster cage at PetSmart and head back. What in the world was I thinking? I arrive back at Toyota and plop down into a chair. Help me, water, please, anyone? Doesn’t anyone realize these are my final moments? WHOA – What was that? Two sensations I haven’t felt in years – my thighs are tingle ling and little happy feelings are popping around in my head. When was the last time that happened?
Flashback – for years I walked by myself early in the morning several times a week. I was able to control my weight, clear my mind, fend off depression, come up with great ideas, get the blood flowing and the endorphins popping. Why did I stop? Oh yeah – my neighbor joined me. I didn’t invite her and I couldn’t say no. She talked the entire time and we would have to stop periodically so she could stretch her sciatic nerve. I’d try to pick up the pace and she would say “Where’s the fire?” I felt responsible for her walking routine because she wouldn’t walk alone. After about a year, I found myself hiding in my own home and walking around in the dark so she would quit waiting for me and go away. Finally, I gave up entirely. Since then – 5 years – I’ve gained more than 40 pounds. The good news is I live in a different neighborhood now.
I think it’s time to address physical activity. I hate exercising – it’s so embarrassing. I can never get the moves right and I feel like an idiot. I really like walking but the neighbors will see me. They will point and say, “Hey look, the fat neighbor is trying to lose weight.” What if I start and then quit? THEY will know that the fat lady quit. What if the neighbors see the big butt following me around?
I’m really stressing over this. I’ve got to come up with a way to exercise but not let anyone know I’m exercising. I know – I’ll go undercover – I’ll take my dog for a walk and they won’t know that I’m aiming for fitness. I’ll wear my iPod so I can’t hear their jeers. And I’ll leave my glasses at home so I can’t see their faces.
I pick a distance not so far – the stop sign – seven houses there, seven houses back. I leash my mutt – he’s so excited. We head down the road. I’m worried that I’ll get winded but my dog has other plans. He’s sniffing, lifting his leg, stopping every ten feet. We get home and I’m not winded, I’m frustrated. I didn’t walk the dog – the dog walked me. How am I going to get fit this way? At least I wasn’t worried about what the neighbors were thinking.
Okay maybe I got something out of it because the next day I’m determined to try again. I put on my walking shoes, leash up the mutt, and out the door we go. I let him do his thing the first couple of times but then I start dragging him along a little faster. I make it to the stop sign and home. That wasn’t so bad.
Day three we pick up the pace to the stop sign and home. I’m leaning into my walk and my butt is sticking out pretty far. I look stupid doing this. STOP IT! I can go a little further. I walk past my house – totally confusing my dog – count seven houses, turn around and come home. Now I feel like I’m getting somewhere.
On day five there is no time to walk. I’m too busy, I can’t fit it in, and I can’t do anything about it. I’ve blown it! How am I going to exercise on a regular basis if I’ve already screwed up on day five? As I’m walking around the house beating myself up I notice the stairway light is on. I go to turn it off and think why not walk the stairs a couple of times? I walk UP the stairs four times and my legs feel like wet noodles. I didn’t go far but I’ve accomplished something.
Day six I’m driving down the road and at the entrance of a housing complex I notice three women standing around in exercise clothes and towels, drinking bottled water, talking.I suspect they have been walking together and realize that while being a social exerciser may work for some folks – it just doesn’t work for me. I need to remember that, stick to it and when necessary JUST SAY NO!
On day seven I start the laundry and get ready to walk. OH NO – I just started washing the only two pair of sweatpants I own. I feel panicked. How am I supposed to walk without the proper clothes? With much contemplation, I step into a pair of Jeff Gordon #24 pajama pants and head out the door.
Walking has been doing great things for my mood, my energy level and my appetite. The music really motivates me, sometimes I want to break out like Rocky and start punching the air. “Trying hard now…Getting strong now…Gonna fly now…"
I can’t believe a week ago I was worried about what the neighbors would think and now I’m walking in my PJs and trying not to break dance in the middle of the street. I must have lost my mind – well actually the equivalent thereof – I’ve lost 3 pounds, the same size of the adult human brain. Each day it’s gets a little easier and I go a little farther. I AM making progress one pound, one day and one week at a time.
January 14, 2007 - These four changes have simplified my eating habits. I’m eating breakfast, lunch and dinner, plus a snack. I’m eating food that I like – well most of the time.I can’t believe it but I’ve lost 4 pounds – the equivalent of an average size
Chihuahua
. The spaghetti meal flopped but I recovered with chicken quesadillas and fresh salsa. I’m surprised that my kids are choosing salad for a snack instead of chips or cereal. Last night my son draped his arm around my neck and said, “You’ve made some great food this week.” Wow – reassurance from my teenager that healthy eating isn’t so bad after all.
January 8, 2007- I am so hungry I can’t think straight. I’m searching through the fridge and cabinets for some thing – anything and grab a bag of sour cream and onion potato chips, onion dip and a Coke. I start wolfing down chip after chip after chip.
This is my problem. I skip breakfast and I put lunch off until I’m so hungry that I’ll eat anything. Once I start eating it is a smorgasbord until dinner. I really need to address my eating habits.
I decide to go grocery shopping for dinner. I eat before I go so that my stomach doesn’t do all the shopping. Fresh produce, some whole wheat pasta and ground turkey. I’ll make a family favorite – spaghetti with meat sauce using healthy ingredients.
As I’m standing in the check out line the headlines grab my attention…Shape New Year, New You!; Reader’s Digest New Breakthroughs - Weight Loss - What Really Works; First Never Diet Again!; Us Weekly How Idols Got Thin!; Fitness Walk Off Every Bulge, Results in 2 Weeks; and People Half Their Size!On impulse I buy them – ALL of them. The checkout clerk looks at me like I’m nuts. Once everything is rung up – I begin thinking I’m nuts too.
I’m so proud of myself – I’ve prepared a very healthy meal. It smells pretty good. We sit down at the table and start eating but everyone is too quiet. My 16 year old son finally says “Mom – I’m not really feeling this whole wheat thing.” My 9 year old daughter tells him to “just put it in your mouth and take a drink.”My husband is trying not to laugh. I’ve got to admit it – this meal is gross. Everyone throws out what’s left on their plate and I feed the turkey meat to the dogs. I look around, my husband is eating a bologna sandwich; my son is eating pudding; and my daughter is pouring a bowl of cereal. For once I’ve lost my appetite and decide to devour the magazines instead.
I’m skimming through the articles and they keep repeating what I’ve heard a thousand times. Portion control, meal planning, better choices, cut the fat, exercise, weight train, weigh your food, count calories, cut white carbs, divide your plate, it goes on and on. This is going to be a major hassle. Do I really want to put my family through this?
Then my little light goes on - last week I was able to make some small changes with great results. I’m drinking water, waking up to music that makes me dance around, I’ve cut out my “after dinner meal” and I’m monitoring my weight on a daily basis. I need to breakdown my eating habits into a few baby steps and focus on them for just this week.
First, I need to plan my meals. I search through my stack of magazines and come across several sample menus. Ugh! I don’t want to eat a 10 egg white omelet – what a waste; meatless burgers – what’s the point; cauliflower – yuck! I can’t afford to buy all this stuff I just spent a bunch of money on magazines. STOP! It’s a sample menu knucklehead. Okay start over. I need healthy sensible options for each meal plus a snack. I write down my headings: breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack. Under each heading I make a list of a few healthy food choices that I know my family and I like. Now I have my own simplified and personalized sample menu.
Second, I need to stock my kitchen with items from my sample menu. I make my list and head to the grocery store. 1% instead of 2% milk, double fiber bread, high fiber cereal, finely shredded cheese, tortillas, broth based soups, chicken and low cal salad dressing. I buy only a few apples, bananas and fresh vegetables because they don’t last very long. I decide to try something new – meatless burgers and pick up a box of Morningstar Farms Spicy Black Bean Burgers. These things are pretty darn good – kind of like taco meat without the mess.
Third, I don’t want to make a big deal out of every meal. I want easy, simple and tasty. That means some things need to be prepared ahead of time. I set aside one hour to prepare some items for the week. I bake a family size packet of chicken breasts marinated in low cal Italian dressing. When that cools down I chop it up and store it in freezer bags - half goes in the freezer and half goes in the fridge. Next I make salsa. My kids love salsa but hate the chunks. I pull out my blender and toss in a handful of cilantro, several tomatoes, an onion, a jalapeno, juice of ½ a lemon, salt and pepper and blend until it resembles a smoothie. I store it in a jar with a tight lid in the fridge. It lasts about 4 or 5 days. I tear up heads of iceberg and romaine lettuce, mix and seal it in a freezer bag and store it in the fridge. This has really eased meal preparations this week.
Finally, I need a go-to item. I’m running out the door; I don’t have any time to spare; I’ll be on the go for the next couple hours; and lunch is approaching. I “go-to” the fridge and grab a meal replacement Slimfast shake. I make two new household rules: for the family – touch these shakes and your dead meat; for me – open only in case of emergency.
January 7, 2007 - It’s been a week and I’m thrilled to say I’ve lost 5 pounds – that’s a big bag of sugar that just melted off my butt and thighs. I have been able to incorporate these four simple changes without any major disruptions in my life. I can do this. Maybe next week I’ll be ready to make a few more changes...
January 1, 2007 - January 1st is here. I hear this resounding voice in my head say “TODAY IS THE DAY” and “IT’S NOW OR NEVER.” I feel sluggish and I don’t want to get out of bed much less begin my journey to losing weight. If I start dieting and exercising it will totally disrupt everything. It’s going to take the joy out of my life. What is the point?It is day one and I already want to quit.
Wait a minute - what joy am I talking about?I hate being fat. I’m disgusted by my lack of motivation. I don’t like looking at my chubby face in the mirror. I’m sick of this big butt following me every where I go. I’m sick of wearing the same clothes over and over simply because I refuse to buy the next larger size.
But what am I suppose to do about it?I could join a program – Weight Watchers or LA Weight Loss but I’ve already tried these programs and I didn’t stick to them. I could go online and find a quick fix like the cabbage diet or the grapefruit diet – but I can’t make my family eat like that. I would have to make two sets of meals – and I would probably eat both. There is so much information out there – how am I supposed to decipher it all?
Okay – calm down – take a deep breath. I know what I need to do but it’s so overwhelming and I can’t turn my life upside down in just one day. I need baby steps. I’ll make a few changes – ones that I can focus on for just this week.
First, I need to wake up in a good mood ready to face the day. In the movie “The Holiday” Kate Winslet wakes up and rocks out on the air guitar to “Are You Gonna Be My Girl” by Jet. I download this song to my iPod and leave it on my bed stand. The alarm goes off and – ugh – I don’t want to get up. I feel silly but I put the ear buds in before I’ve even lift my head. The music starts to play and WOW my body starts to move. I can’t lay here and listen to this – I need to get up and move around. Now I’m playing the air guitar and dancing around a little. I decide to download additional tunes that make me feel like moving.
Second, I need to make nutritional changes. I can’t possibly tackle all of my bad eating habits in one day. I take inventory of my worst mindless eating habits and choose to eliminate my after dinner meal – a bowl of cereal with sugar and milk. I’m exerting a little control over my decisions about my body and it feels good.
Third, I start drinking water all day long. I’m not thrilled about it and it’s not my favorite beverage. I figure out that I like it best ice cold. Adding a slice of lemon, lime or orange isn’t so bad. A little packet of Crystal Light helps too. I keep a glass in front of me at all times. I keep a bottle on the bed stand and a couple in the car. I make it readily available so I have no excuses. Like it or not the body needs water so I suck it up - literally.
Finally, I need a scale – I threw mine out years ago. Instead of buying more fat clothes, I use my Kohl’s gift certificate and buy a digital scale. I swear it’s broken – it fluctuates all day long. Am I gaining? Am I losing? What’s going on with this machine?My tall, skinny, 16 year old son gets on the scale first thing in the morning and proudly announces his weight. Great! I’m 10 inches shorter than him and weigh three pounds more than he does. He gets on the scale the next morning and he still weighs the same. I follow his lead and decide to weigh myself the exact same way every morning…get out of bed, visit the powder room, no clothes, no glasses, no jewelry and no hair ties.I record my weight daily and lo and behold I just dropped .4 pounds, and the next day .6 pounds.
December 24, 2006 - Ugh! Another new year is approaching and I’m still fat. I’ve been eating non stop since Thanksgiving. The last week of the year arrives and I feel panicky. This is the week that I resolve to finally lose weight. But I’m not going to start until January 1st. So this last week I treat every meal and snack like THIS is my last meal. And every morning I feel like Violet Beauregarde – the blueberry girl from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. “Oompah loompah doopity doo…”
