I SO TRULY DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THE HECK I AM NOT LOSING WEIGHT! FOR THE LAST FEW DAYS I HAVE REALLY BEEN TRYING TO CUT MY CALORIE AND FAT INTAKE, AND I HAVE MANAGED TO EAT LESS AND STILL GAINED 3 POUNDS!!! I AM STILL TAKING THE PHENTERMINE AND I HAVE BEEN MORE ACTIVE THIS LAST WEEKEND! I AM SO FRUSTRATED WITH THIS YOYO, NEVER GO ANYWHERE CRAP!!!!

WHY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I often sit around this house and get so bored and depressed that I head into the kitchen and clean the cubbards out.....And after I feel satisfied I think to myself "why the hell do I do this!" I cannot find an answer on my own. And I cant seem to find the right help either. I am so lost in this weight and I dont think I will ever be found....

I hate that I can sit and think about all the goals and desires I wish to fullfill and that is just it, I "think" about it I dont actually succeed at doing it. I am so frustrated beyond any means of calmness. And I have nobody to blame but me! I do this to myself, I am the one that gets up and eats everything I can get my hands on! I am the one that never feels secure enough to leave the comfort of food! And I wonder when in the heck did this all start! And most importantly WHY?

I have been to therepy, I have dicussed many issues with my partner, I am open about issues with in myself, yet there is still a demon deep in the darkness that I cannot surface.....How do I get it all out to achieve my life dream of being healthy and a good role model for my children?

I just dont understand how some people can just find the motivation and the will power to just get up and do it. I got so much holding me down, and all I can do is continue to sit and make excuses, I am so sick of being in this rut that I am in, and I complain about it every day, yet I do nothing about it. I am losing the battle against myself, how sad is that?

Wow what a change in myself these last few days. I have stoped the antidepressants and the birth control pills and I feel so much more energetic and happy. In the last 2 weeks that I have been taking them I have felt like crap, lazy, ugly, depressed, undesired, useless, etc...... They just made me feel so miserable and I just could not figure out why!!! Now I have and when I go back to the doctor I am going to tell her exactly this.

I am doing so good on the control of consuming to much food! I am so proud of myself! I hope that I can keep it under control and keep this weight moving off me for good!!!

Well the last 2 days have been devistating to the diet world. A friend came over lastnight and watched movies and ordered PIZZA!! One of my biggest weaknesses so of course I went over my limit and had no self control....The whole time I was thinking to myself why do I do this to myself, why can I not stop myself from doing all the wrong things!!!! When do I learn to control myself??? Nobody tells you how to do that when they tell you that you need to lose weight and diet! Where do you find the rules? Who actually knows the "right" and "wrongs" of dieting? Can it really be perfected? Or is it just something someone "SELLS" you? Why does everything that people do have to cost money? Even for a simple thought, u got to pay a penny!! I mean I just really want find myself, you know that little person I lost so many years ago. I know she is in there screaming to get out.......

Well I was checking my email earlier and found this site that has triggered an interest with in me. I am sceptical mainly because it was pushing to hard to get me to buy it buy "instant" messaging me altho I know that it was an automated response to my questions. www.wu-yisource.com

Everything on the market seems to be to good to be true and I am so sick of the gemics. When is something going to come out that truly helps the unmotivated obese people get up off thier ass and move the fat around? I know there are more people out thier in situations like me they even feel and think the same things I do, I just got to find someone that is right where I am at in my life, my mind,  and my area.

The feeling of being depressed is just getting old even tho I am antidepressants I wonder just how much they really are helping me... Right now I am on to many meds and not enough time for change to evolve for each one. I just want to happy within myself and in my life and those around me. For some reason I just cant find out how to accomplish that.

I hate that the scale is bouncing back and forth this yoyo shyt is for the birds. I have been doing the up and down crap for so many years that I never truly know when something is really working or not. I can lose it, but it dont stay off..... My doctor said if the phentermine does not work then I will have to think about lapband or gastric bypass. And I have heard of the survival rates of the bypass and I am not up for checking out of my life anytime soon. I have kids that I want to see grow up.  I have go to do something tho, I am tired of being miserable inside and out.

Well its sunday almost a week since I began this diet and taken the pills the doctor gave me. I was doing so good on them at first. Till I stepped on the scale lastnight and it said I was back where I started....Bummer

I have been eating less and healthy so I dont know where I am going wrong. I am going to kick up the exercise some and see if that helps......

I just found this website by looking up the dieretic my doctor gave me. I have tried everything out there to lose weight and I just cant seem to do it. After a huge struggle of anerexia before I had kids 15 years ago, I have found myself on another life threatning battle. I dont know how I got myself here, and I am not sure how to get myself beyond this point. I am reaching out for help, I hope in the right places and to the right people. I need support mentally physically and emotionally and to be honest I just dont have that in my life with the people around me. I am sick of family making comments about my size or how much I eat. I feel like I dont matter to anybody and I am not sure if its who I have become or my weight stopping them from even caring about me. I am tired of being left alone, I am tired of planning special events for my kids and nobody showing up. I am severly depressed and my doctor notices that and put me on CELEXA (antidepressant) I am not sure that it is helping. She also gave me PHENTERMINE to help me lose weight. I waited a week to start it because I was scared of the side effects she told me it would have. Now that I have started I have lost 10 POUNDS since I visited her last tuesday!!! I am still sceptical and definitly not giving up now! I hope that I can lose this fat and get my life healthy and happy again!