I need to go to the right, my basket goes to the left...
Okay, I don't know if you guys know this or not but I once again started Curves.... I really do love it and I have been going faithfully for all of three days. Whoooo-hooooo!! They say it takes three weeks to create a habit so I guess that gives me eighteen more days to go before it actually becomes a habit. For right now I have to basically convince myself on a daily basis that this is what I really do need to be doing. And it IS what I need to be doing! I went last night and did my 30 minute round like a good little soldier. Then went grocery shopping.... well I ended up getting one of them baskets that always try to veer off to one side, and being the gung ho exercise enthusiast I am now, I figured “eh, I will just keep the basket and think of it as a mini work out trying to keep this bitch straight...” BIG mistake. After about 30 minutes I was sick and tired of that damned basket but it was too late to get a new one because there was too much crap in there. ugh. Got home and unloaded all of that, put it all up in its place and finally got to lay down. I must say I slept pretty darned good. The good news is when I woke up this morning I was six pounds lighter than I was a week before, so maybe thereis something to all this ‘exercise & eat right’ mumbo jumbo after all. Watch out Angelina.....
Okay, I am a pit bull lover.... I have to say I am a firm advocate for the ethical treatment of the whole breed. They get a bad rap, and its mainly because of the people who raise them. They are raised for the wrong reasons and they are bred for the wrong reasons. In their natural state they are the most loving and loyal dogs. But, like a gun or a bomb or a double glazed choco fudge doughnut, in the wrong hands the results can be devastating. Being a pit bull owner, anytime something happens involving a pit bull on the news or something, I know about it the next day because of the stares I get at work. “SHE owns a pit bull” are the most common whispers, as if I sent my dog out into the world with a terror list to attend to that night. Its pure ignorance, and like many other forms of racism, this is one that I can not stand. What does this have to do with extrapounds?? Well he ate my kolache this morning while I was watching yet another pit bull news signet. (little baby got four of its toes chewed off by a baby pit bull, while the parents were high and passed out on a mattress not even a foot away..... they (the media) spoke with a vet and she said that they puppy was only six weeks old, and was most likely trying to nurse because he was hungry.... so even though it was a pit bull, it didnt chew the toes as a sign of aggression. Poor dogs, they always get a bad rap......
Okay, I don't know if you guys are familiar with this or not, but there is this little granola bar called Kashi Pumpkin Spice and it is DIVINE!!! Well I recently paired this little jewel with some hot lemon tea and Good Night Mrs. Betty it was FAN-TAS-TIC! Picture the scenario... I'm at work, tired and hungry as always, no energy to do what ever it is they pay me to do (temporary dementia has set in at this point) and I have no more pencils to do said work even if I knew what it was because I have thrown them all up in the ceiling (since the last employee in that office drew a bullseye on the ceiling tiles its been nothing but pencil darts for this girl!) anyway, I decide to brave the walk over to the break room and pass my old foe Snacky.... I am just too hungry to care at this point. So I'm almost there and I have the glittery silver coins jingling with excitement in my hands.... what to get what to get? I turn the corner, there is Snacky humming triumphantly. I look into the treasure trove of goodies and lo and behold.... looks like someone has gotten Snacky a new Vendor! Well there are now granola bars, air popped popcorn, trail mix (still gotta be careful with those) some whole grain chips, and some other good stuff that, if I do happen to indulge in, I wont spend the rest of the day pondering what I can pawn in my house to pay for the liposuction I will evidently need afterwards. I'm here to tell you if I had a tail it would be wagging erratically, maybe knocking over a few things such as my beloved pit bulls does when he gets a little too exited! (he cleared the coffee table one day of magazines and cups cause he heard me say “beefy treat!”I have since learned NOT to utter the words beefy treat unless I get a full clear of all breakable objects!) As the smile spreads across my face like syrup on a pancake I think I hear old Snacky skip a humm or two.... “Aint so tuff after all are you Snacky?”with that $0.75 goes in and out comes my delicious Kashi..... thus marking its place in the books as my new favorite thing #417
Jingle bells jingle bells my belly rolls wont stop... can't sit down, without a frown, pants buttons ‘bout to pop... ohhh everybody sing!!!! Have a good holiday folks!
Well the holidays are upon us and surprisingly I didnt gain any weight this time!! Standing in front of the veritable smorgasbord of deliciousness and trying to decipher the good voices in my head from the ones who were only trying to sabotage my hard work from the last two days (the bad ones sounding like the narrator from A Christmas Story – now I know how poor Ralphie felt) I actually lost three pounds! How happy was I? good lord almightly! I did eat turkey, dressing of course, and all the other stuff. But I just ate less than I normally would have and didnt go back for a second plate! I enjoyed all the extras and did all the things that you are suppose to do during the holidays and had a really great time. Also, my husband has been moreaffectionate lately so I don't know if maybe he was just going through his man-stral cycle (this is what I call a man’s period, cause as we all know, they can get moody and bitchy with the best of us!) but Anywho... it seems as if things are getting a little better,thankfully. Oh yeah I posted a new picture of me and my brother... woo hoo
And the award for Yo-Yo Dieter of the Year goes to.....
Fat Girl Misha
Yes thank you thank you!!!, please hold all applause till the end of the speech! Ugh. What a joke! Here I go yet once again.... what was my trigger this time??? Well let’s see, how about the fact that I can't fit into the jeans I just bought a month ago, or the ‘baby’ tees I bought as incentive are now dry-rotting in my fourth drawer.... or even the pictures of me in a bathing suit from last week that made me want to lose my lunch at the local one-hour photo hut? Could it be that I can't pull my chair all the way in at work anymore, or how about that I don't have a ‘figure’ anymore, oh wait or it could be that as gifts my co-workers now give me food items or gift certificates to restaurants instead of the perfume/makeup gifts when I first started working here. But if you think about it it could also be that I wear all my button-front shirts open now with a camisole, or that my jacket only buttons on the third button and I can't bend once it is or it will burst..... Man so many choices.... how bout the fact that I am just plain fat and need to lose some damn weight before I keel over from heart palpitations! BINGO!! We have a winner!
Yeah that’s what they call me.... even though I made my “promise” to eat better in case I decided to obtain myself a criminal career and had to run from the fuzz.... obviously that didnt pan out. Oh well. I don't know what else to say. I beat myself up over it but that does no good. Now there is a different situation... my husband has been acting a little funny. He doesn’t kiss me anymore. Doesn’t hug me. Doesn’t do much. For awhile he always wanted ‘chon-chon’ (our word for “IT”). But for the last two weeks.... NADA! He doesn’t want to go anywhere with me. I know he isn’t cheating, he is too lazy for that plus he is always home or at his brothers house (right down the street) so that is out. The other day I saw him looking at this girl in the grocery store... then he turns to me and says “that’s how you use to look when I met you....”
x my stomache dropped. So THAT is what this is all about... I feel like shit now. I can't even think of anything witty. I'm just depressed.
3 handfuls of Cashews: stolen from co-workers desk
3 year old raisin found behind a file drawer that a co-worker convinced you to open your mouth for so he could jump-shoot across the room and you agreed because you thought he wouldn’t make it but he did: mental anguish and a bathroom trip
Giving Mr. Snacky the evil eye from across the breakroom hoping that he would blow a fuse and quit his constant humming: joyfully free
Having to undo one of your pants buttons because the 17 mini Twix you ate throughout the day are catching up to you now, and you feel like Shamu but then Mr. Hot FedEx guy comes in and says “you look great today, have you lost weight?” winks at you in a not-at-all sleazy way and leaves in a waft of Burberry and cardboard packages: PRICELESS!!!
Good lord I was sick last night!!! The swishing and swirling of junk food in my belly was almost too much for me to bear! So I'm layin on the couch watching the premier of Prison Break, and as I watch Michael Scoffield running through the woods with an intent look on his face I think to myself.... I say Self, me and you gots to come to some kind of agreement!! I take care of you and you take care of me! Whats say one day I have to run through the woods ala Mr. Scoffield there, and I run out of breath after twelve or so feet. Ugh Uhh. Can't do it! Wont do it!!! My future prison escapee career depends on this! (of course being the prude I am prison is far from my future, but the adventurous thought is a boost of adrenaline for a minute or two) Seriously though, as our hero Mr. Scoffield gets to his destination with a look of triumph on his face, me and Self seal the deal on eating right and getting a little more exercise than walking Lucifer (my beloved pit bull) around the block to relieve himself and taunt the neighbors poodle. Now me and self need to hatch a plan on what to do with that nemesis of mine, Mr. Snacky.....<<insert evil laugh as I twist my hands in deep thought>>
well well well, my formidable foe is at it again. today alone ive chomped on just about every texture and flavor of heaven the evil one offers for a low low price. But alas the treasure of loose coins at the bottom of my purse is depleted and i sit here in sugar shock with my teeth throbbing from that last bag of Reese's Pieces.... Why do i do this to myself I ask mentally. maybe if i wear a different color to work tomorrow.... black is slimming but i always think i can get away with that last twinkie or ho-ho... oh but NO NO!!! Screw this, Im wearin white tomorrow!
