I just graduated from NIU in December, where the horrific shooting took place yesterday. That place has been my home for almost 5 years and the shooting just feels like it has hit so close to home. I am fortunate enough to not have known any of the victims of this event, but I still feel sorrow for all of their families and for the loss of such young lives. It is truley a tragedy that these young people are trying to get an education and better their lives and time and time again we see these shootings at these institutions. What can be done? How can we help? It is clear especially now that the presidential elections are upon us, that we need to start voting for candidates who plan to implement severe gun control laws, and as a future teacher I can't stand to see another student suffer because of some insanse psychopath who got access to a gun.
-No weight loss blog today, just feel lucky to be alive. Keep the families and victims of the NIU tragedy in your thoughts and prayers today.
I could not sleep last night, like usual, and it occurred to me while I am single and thinking about Valentine's Day, that I am having a relationship with my DVR (another form of TIVO).
I have listed the reasons below:
1. I race home from work to watch my shows on DVR.
2. I am very committed to my DVR and refuse to watch any show on TV, I only watch the shows on my DVR. I would say I'm exclusive.
3. I have ditched my friends for a night with my DVR.
4. I complain that I have no time to do anything, but in reality I spend 3 hours a night with my DVR.
5. When the DVR and I fight, it shuts up and freezes, while I'm still yelling. In fact that is a characteristic of any other relationships I've been in.
6. MOST IMPORTANTLY: The DVR has lead me to bad behavior, like sitting and mindlessly eating an entire pizza while viewing the DVR.
I think the final conclusion is that I need to break up with my DVR. It has occurred to me that the DVR is ruining my life and then I wonder why I'm fat and not dating.
After reading other people's blogs, I swear sometimes I feel like a stalker, I was inspired by one women's battle with the elliptical that I went to the gym, kleenox box and all. Now I only worked out for 25 minutes, but I burned 410 calories on that elliptical and I am damn proud!!!!
HOWEVER, my day went downhill from there. I wen to the doctors to get a physical because I need one for my new job. There was a long weight so I went to Kohl's to get some clothes for my new job. Well I am now between a size 22 and 20 and clothes fit me even worse now that I have been losing weight. I use to be about 185 pounds a couple months ago. So I walked away with a pair of jeans way tooo long for me and I am now going to go to my new job in sweats. Seriously, sweats should be the new "work attire." So then I went back to the doctors to find out my blood pressure is through the roof, which it is usually really low and I have a fever. So I'm grumpy and eating chips and french onion dip. My fat ass will write again tomorrow. Sorry to depress y'all.
I haven't worked out in 6 days. I feel really anxious about it. Everday I set my alarm to go, but I feel like such crap in the morning that I don't because I'm sick. I can't stop coughing up mucus and blowing my nose and I'm so achy. I don't get home from work until 9-9:30 so I can't go then. Do I try to exercise or do I just wait out the sinus infection? Also, does anyone have any tips for exercises they do when they are sick?
p.s. On a positive note I"m sticking with eating to plan and still losing weight, I"m just not writing it in the blog because I get to lazy, but I keep it in a journal at home.
It has been a week since I started trying to eat healthy and I have lost 4 pounds!!!! This motivates me to want to exercise and keep eating healthy, but I"m so sick right now that it is frusterating. I"m excited to keep going. My sister neeeds some encouragement please send her a message!! She's under my friend list at beamer0821!
If this isn't a reason to eat healthy, I don't know what is...
The article below was just poseted on yahoo.com. It is about a bride who literally died during her first wedding dance from heart disease. My thoughts go out to her family.
DAVIE, Fla. - Kim Sjostrom wanted a real-life version of the film "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," which played in the background as friends fixed her hair and makeup before her own marriage ceremony.
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But less than an hour after she and Teddy Efkarpides were wed, Sjostrom crumpled in her husband's arms during a Greek song that means "Love Me."
At 36, Sjostrom was dead from heart disease.
The wedding had became a project at Davie Elementary School, where Sjostrom taught first grade. Fellow teachers provided the wedding gown, the flowers and decorations. One of them, an ordained minister, performed the ceremony.
"It was perfect for her," said Dominic Church, the minister friend.
Sjostrom carried blue and white flowers during the ceremony — the colors of the Greek flag — as she exchanged vows with Efkarpides, a 43-year-old carpenter and Navy veteran. They had met three years to the day before the Jan. 19 wedding.
During the couple's first dance, Sjostrom complained of being lightheaded. Efkarpides thought his wife, a diabetic, needed sugar, but she collapsed.
Wedding guests, paramedics and doctors at a nearby hospital were unable to revive her.
She had a previous cardiac episode in her 20s and was a poster child — literally — for juvenile diabetes, relatives and friends said. Efkarpides recalled seeing the poster featuring her on New York subways.
He consoles himself by reading a list of "101 Reasons Why I Love You" that Sjostrom gave him their first Christmas together. "Number 1. You make me smile."
No. 98 is especially difficult: "You're the one I want to grow old with."
I felt like I was on a roll and then I got sick. I get sick a lot and I try different diets a lot. So it is quite coincidental that when I try a new program I get sick and that veers me off course. I have worked out in 3 days because I have way to many fluids running out of me, but I hope that today will be the worst of it and that I can get back to the gym tomorrow. The good thing is I am still feeling motivated to work out and eat healthy because I want to feel good about buying summer clothes and not think about what can cover me up the best.
I am having a fantastic day!!! I woke up this morning and as my friend R use to tell me, sometimes you can just feel in your stomache when it is going to be a great day. I felt that and I only had 4 hours of sleep, so maybe I was just delirious. I had to go fill out paperwork for my new job and I was excited and nervous. I looked in the mirror and I was like "Hey you don' t look half bad." I also felt thin. I'm sure you all know what I mean by you felt thin. Which I think is just because I eat healthy or am working out it causes me to already feel thin. So I hopped on the scale and I lost 3.5 pounds!!! Now I know realistically it hasn't even been a week and that could flucuate by Tuesday, but it keeps me going. So I'll take it!!
McDonald's update: I ate my chix ceasar salad, 5 fries, and one chicken nugget without the fried breading skin. So I am proud of myself because I'm not a fast food junkie except for mcdonalds so I'm happy that I got away with just eating that. If I ever go again I will continue to work on weaning myself from the food. Thank you for all of the supportive comments!!!!
Today is my first real predicament with food. I have a play date at McDonald's. EEK!!! i LOVE NOTHING MORE THEN McD"s fries! I would not choose to go there and even suggested that we just go to one of our houses but her children have to go play there. I'm just the nanny so I don't have much so say. So I have researched their menu and chosen what I am going to eat and calculated it into my food plan so that I'm all prepared. Luckily, the play center is separate from the eating area, so I don't have to sit there and look longingly at the fries.
I have figured it out! I haven't figured out why I can't stop eating, but I have figured out what is going on with my cognitive thinking. I think I am the opposite of an anorexic person. I am such a control freak in every aspect of my life, down to what time I can sit down and watch T.V. That food is the only thing I can't control. An anorexic person tends to have a chaotic life and so they turn to food as the only area that they can have control and power over. I think that I control so many areas of my life that I become overwhelmed and therefore lose all control when it comes to eating.
I tried to stick to my food plan yesterday, but I didn't for no reason. I didn't have to go to work because of the snow and no one was home. I rarely am at home where I have no obligations, where I can just sit and watch TV all day but that was yesterday. So to top off my sedentary lifestyle yesterday, I decided it was a perfect day to binge. So I ordered a pizza, of course I used some control, I ordered a small! HAHA With brushetta and potato skins. I am guessing that I had like 100 fat grams and 5000 calories. While I was ordering I thought of my vacation and wearing a short sleeved shirt in 100 degree weather, and it had no effect on me placing my order.
While I was binge eating, I kept asking myself "What am I getting from this?" What does this do for me? It' like I was trying to psychoanalyze the binge. Yet, I have no answer. Nothing happened yesterday that made me turn to food, I felt great yesterday. Binge eating feels so much like an addiction that I can feel it coming on. Like when you quit smoking and the urge for a cigarette just grows throughout the day. That's the binge I can feel it coming on like vomit. Does anyone else feel this way?
. I wen to the doctors to get a physical because I need one for my new job. There was a long weight so I went to Kohl's to get some clothes for my new job. Well I am now between a size 22 and 20 and clothes fit me even worse now that I have been losing weight. I use to be about 185 pounds a couple months ago. So I walked away with a pair of jeans way tooo long for me and I am now going to go to my new job in sweats. Seriously, sweats should be the new "work attire." So then I went back to the doctors to find out my blood pressure is through the roof, which it is usually really low and I have a fever. So I'm grumpy and eating chips and french onion dip. My fat ass will write again tomorrow. Sorry to depress y'all.