Okay so this will be a long post and actually there are kind of two posts in one. Feel free to comment on either post. I have the day off and I'm up at 7:30am to go workout again, I start my new job tomorrow so I'm trying to get ready at getting up early even though today is my day off.
The Cinnamon Cure
This story may seem long and on a tangent, but I swear it is going somewhere. So, I might go get coffee in the near future with a fellow EP member, which would be cool because you can talk to someone face to face and not just through blogging and comments. Anyways, so I don't drink coffee. Of course all my friends do so when we go out for "coffee" and they get their double expression latte non fat mocachino grande thing, I get fat free hot chocolate. I have so much energy and talk so much that If I had coffee I would be like the gremlins who get water poured on them or eat junk food and bounce around the room. So I had a boyfriend, years ago who was a manager at Starbucks, which of course made all my friends become my new best friends. So, he knew I didn't like coffee and so he always brought me Starbuck cinnamon mints. Well, I became addicted to them. It was then I realized that they are kind of like an appetite suppressant. Now when I'm at home and want to eat I grab a few cinnamon red hots and then I don't grab food. The moral of the story is, if you want to eat food, but know you shouldn't, try to grab something with cinnamon in it.
I'm waiting......
Okay shorter post. I"m waiting for that feeling that everyone says when they exercise that they can't wait to get back there. I have been exercising on and off for 4 steady months. The last month and a half I have hit 5 workouts a weeks, except when I was sick. Yet, I totally don't feel like going to the gym. It is a struggle everytime, and once I get there I'm okay, it is just getting there. I have friends that are like I feel gross when I don't exercise and antsy. Who are you crappin? I could just as easily give up exercise today and never look back. However, I exercise because I know the outcome I want and to get it I have to get my but moving. I was always a three sport athlete in school and so I think the problem is that I need that competition to get my going. When I was a swimmer I don't care how out of shape I was I would kill myself getting to the finish line before I'd let someone beat me. So in conclusion, I am waiting for that feeling......like that I just love exercise so much and can't live without it.
P.S. Going clothes shopping today for work clothes, ugh!!! I'll definitely post tonite to let everyone know who won the battle, me or the clothes!
"Such is beauty ever, here nor there, now nor then, but wherever there is a soul to be admired." -Henry David Thoreau
I know we are all focused on our weight and how we look, but let us not forget who we are away from our weight and food and diet plans, etc... So I have created a list of the things I love, aside from food to remember that I am so much more than just a serial dieter.
P.S. Props to me for getting up at 7am and dragging my but to the gym to have an hour long workout on 4 hours of sleep. I burned 500 calories on elliptical alone!!!
I love....
P.S. Props to me for getting up at 7am and dragging my but to the gym to have an hour long workout on 4 hours of sleep. I burned 500 calories on elliptical alone!!!
I love....
my family who love me unconditionally,
my friends-at least most of the time
flip flops (I wear them throughout every season, except when it snows)
movies - documentaries
reading
reading about WWII
history
lifetime movie network
silly tabloids
whitney houston, guns n roses, matchbox twenty other music that is not rap
giving advice about relationships
giving advice
talking
thunderstorms listening
to audiobooks in the car
sex, wine. massages
getting a pedicure, CHILDREN!!!!!!! teaching, driving, rollar coasters
Goals and Mantras for the weeks and last post of day
I start my new job at a school on Wednesday!!!! Go me! I have read so many people's blogs and written so many posts because it is my only day off and I'm in between cooking my meals for the week. So I don't think I have previously mentioned that I quit smoking 3 months ago, and no it is not a reason for my weight, because unlike 99% of the country, I have lost weight since quitting smoking. BUT I do allow myself to have a cigarette here and there when I drink, like last night. It's so disgusting it smells gross, I never even want to date a smoker. So here is my mantra for the week (I'm starting to meditate at night to help my insomnia).
Mantra: No smoking, eat less, exercise more
When you say it fast it kinds of catches a beat. I am going to start writing my goals down, because everyone knows how goal oriented and structured I am and I really need organization and things to be written out. Okay I"m a little OCD.
Goals:
1. Don't smoke when I see 16 candles(band not movie) this Friday
2. Hit 5 hour long workouts this week
3. Start using stability ball for workouts
4. Stick to food plan 5 days this week
GOOD LUCK ME!!!
Good luck everyone and never forget "Food never tastes as good as thin feels" I know sooo corny, but it works.
Just want to say to my fellow bloggers that I add anyone who writes a comment to my friends list because I'm new at this and I think that if someone makes the time to comment on something I write I'm interested in what is going on with their life. So if anyone thinks that is weird feel free to let me know and I will remove you.
So after my feeling sorry for myself and being a loser post, I decided I needed to get my act together. I worked out and I ate portioned meals. After work I made myself go out even though it was 1am. The nicest thing happened and it was such a small act of kindness. There was an ice storm and I couldn't even get out of the car because it was all a sheet of ice. This cute guy was walking by and helped me out of the car and held my hand all the way into the bar because we were just walking on a sheet of ice and he didn't want me to slip. Then we parted ways. I always felt so bad about my fatness and that everyone just detests fat people. I know in reality people aren't like that, but it was just nice for a complete stranger to help someone else out. The fact that he was cute was a plus!!!!
After a sick, yucky week, I feel rejuvenated. I did a meditation cd last night and part of it was envisioning yourself as powerful and I had to think of a word that I wanted to conquer which mine was willpower. I woke up today, still full of gook, but ready to get serious and get my butt back to the gym.
I realized that I'm becoming very closed-off. I have just been working and I don't go out anymore and I constantly cancel plans with friends because I just don't want to deal with getting ready yet again and feeling like s**t because I don't look good in anything I wear. A year and a half ago I was 301 pounds, 4 years ago I was 185 pounds, my weight has been all over the spectrum. It is starting to hit me what it was like to walk into a bar 4 years ago versus now. I feel like a loser. And maybe I"m being conceited, but I always have had tons of friends and was never made fun of to my face about my weight, and I just feel like a loser now. I"m a single 24 year old college graduate. THIS SHOULD BE THE TIME OF MY LIFE!!! And I'm just hiding. I don't want to face anyone, it's like I want to start losing weight and face people in 6 months. I have been this size for some time so I don't know when I became such a hermit and so disgusted. So I just feel like today is the day I kick my own fat ass and pick myself up!
I just graduated from NIU in December, where the horrific shooting took place yesterday. That place has been my home for almost 5 years and the shooting just feels like it has hit so close to home. I am fortunate enough to not have known any of the victims of this event, but I still feel sorrow for all of their families and for the loss of such young lives. It is truley a tragedy that these young people are trying to get an education and better their lives and time and time again we see these shootings at these institutions. What can be done? How can we help? It is clear especially now that the presidential elections are upon us, that we need to start voting for candidates who plan to implement severe gun control laws, and as a future teacher I can't stand to see another student suffer because of some insanse psychopath who got access to a gun.
-No weight loss blog today, just feel lucky to be alive. Keep the families and victims of the NIU tragedy in your thoughts and prayers today.
I could not sleep last night, like usual, and it occurred to me while I am single and thinking about Valentine's Day, that I am having a relationship with my DVR (another form of TIVO).
I have listed the reasons below:
1. I race home from work to watch my shows on DVR.
2. I am very committed to my DVR and refuse to watch any show on TV, I only watch the shows on my DVR. I would say I'm exclusive.
3. I have ditched my friends for a night with my DVR.
4. I complain that I have no time to do anything, but in reality I spend 3 hours a night with my DVR.
5. When the DVR and I fight, it shuts up and freezes, while I'm still yelling. In fact that is a characteristic of any other relationships I've been in.
6. MOST IMPORTANTLY: The DVR has lead me to bad behavior, like sitting and mindlessly eating an entire pizza while viewing the DVR.
I think the final conclusion is that I need to break up with my DVR. It has occurred to me that the DVR is ruining my life and then I wonder why I'm fat and not dating.
After reading other people's blogs, I swear sometimes I feel like a stalker, I was inspired by one women's battle with the elliptical that I went to the gym, kleenox box and all. Now I only worked out for 25 minutes, but I burned 410 calories on that elliptical and I am damn proud!!!!
HOWEVER, my day went downhill from there. I wen to the doctors to get a physical because I need one for my new job. There was a long weight so I went to Kohl's to get some clothes for my new job. Well I am now between a size 22 and 20 and clothes fit me even worse now that I have been losing weight. I use to be about 185 pounds a couple months ago. So I walked away with a pair of jeans way tooo long for me and I am now going to go to my new job in sweats. Seriously, sweats should be the new "work attire." So then I went back to the doctors to find out my blood pressure is through the roof, which it is usually really low and I have a fever. So I'm grumpy and eating chips and french onion dip. My fat ass will write again tomorrow. Sorry to depress y'all.
I haven't worked out in 6 days. I feel really anxious about it. Everday I set my alarm to go, but I feel like such crap in the morning that I don't because I'm sick. I can't stop coughing up mucus and blowing my nose and I'm so achy. I don't get home from work until 9-9:30 so I can't go then. Do I try to exercise or do I just wait out the sinus infection? Also, does anyone have any tips for exercises they do when they are sick?
p.s. On a positive note I"m sticking with eating to plan and still losing weight, I"m just not writing it in the blog because I get to lazy, but I keep it in a journal at home.
. I wen to the doctors to get a physical because I need one for my new job. There was a long weight so I went to Kohl's to get some clothes for my new job. Well I am now between a size 22 and 20 and clothes fit me even worse now that I have been losing weight. I use to be about 185 pounds a couple months ago. So I walked away with a pair of jeans way tooo long for me and I am now going to go to my new job in sweats. Seriously, sweats should be the new "work attire." So then I went back to the doctors to find out my blood pressure is through the roof, which it is usually really low and I have a fever. So I'm grumpy and eating chips and french onion dip. My fat ass will write again tomorrow. Sorry to depress y'all.