02/27/2009 18:21
One year later, emotionally no better.
Reading my past posts, I feel like I should be somewhat further along in my life. I should weigh a lot less and handle my emotions a lot more. After last post, I got back together with S and we officially were done about 3 weeks ago. I have been a wreck because it took me so long to like him and let go of all of my body issues to be comfortable with him and now he's done. He refuses to even talk to me, its like I don't exist to him. THe one good thing is that I have not ate healthy or exercised in 5 months and did not gain weight. Best motivator to get back on the elliptical: break up. So for the past few weeks I was working out 5 days a week burning 500+ calories a session and eating around 1500 calories, 110 carbs, 38g of fat. Guess how much weight loss? 0000000 So this week, I was like f--- it, guess what ate pizza, pasta, boozed it up, guess how much weight loss or gain? 00000000 So what did I learn, that my body is failing me right now and I am emotionally failing myself rightnow because I can't get out of my rut, it has been a year since I started this blog and I'm still fat, still single, and less happy.