Issues? Who me?
BEWARE: WHINEY POST!!!!!
So, I was talking with my boss who happens to be a psychologist and she told me that I need to start dating again because I have too many issues and hopefully when I start dating they will work themselves out. I laughed so hard
. OF COURSE I HAVE ISSUES!! Doesn't everybody? I am the most dramatic person you will meet plus I have had every freakin problem that you find in a self-help book- drug addiction, unhealthy relationships, eating disorders, self- mutilation, blah blah blah. I of course think I have healed most of my issues, but I do have a fear of intimacy and not just sex, I just can't get close to someone and then I clutch on to my guy friends as substitute boyfriends so I don't have to deal with an actual relationship. Then I decided in January that I was going to get thin or at least be like 200 pounds and then I said I would look for someone, or at least start dating again. So of course it is 9 months later and though I've lost some weight I have been pretty consistent at not losing weight for 4 months!!! So basically I'm going to stay fat and not date. It's not that I feel like oh poor me no one will like me, no there are people in my life who would like to be with me or at least sleep with me and I will not because I'm just so uncomfortable with me. I already hate this post because I sound so needy, the thing is I'm so far from being needy with people it is more being needy to myself. Does that make sense? Why can't I just lose weight and have healthy relationships?
On another note, I find out my ex got married (got to love myspace) right? It's so unfair, why does he get to move on, like seriously it has been less than 2 years since I was sleeping with him and he's freaking married!!! I'm still healing myself from him and he gets to go and be married, while I was the one who prepared him for 6 years to be married. That woman married the man I straightened out. Now of course I don't want to be with him but I was hoping he would be fat and miserable (which he is neither). Okay enough of my whiney post. ICK!!
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Okay just read my blog and boy do I sound annoying, so I am posting some positive stuff. My abs kill finally working on my lovely ab ball that has been getting dusty, I love ab burn!!!!! Going to see Local H super excited!!! There you go POSITIVE POWER!