I just read over my last post and realized that it sounded so very negative. I think it was the PMS talking more than me. I worked my butt off and went for a workout as well yesterday and I felt so much better!
I've also been absolutely angelic where food intake is concerned - so far so very good. This evening we are going to my friend Natasha's place to watch a movie on her funky new LCD t.v. which has been mounted on a bright red wall. Nats is also a "loser" and has lost 12 kgs this year (that's 26 lbs!).
Both of us have been very close for many years and we go to the same dietician (though I started much later). We're both amazed that we could have let ourselves put on all that weight over the past years and can't imagine going back to the old style of eating and drinking. It's also great to have a friend make the lifestyle change with you because you always have support when your motivation levels are falling. So it's a virtual guarantee that I will stick to healthy eating tonight :-)
I was also glad that TOM finally did arrive last night. I don't think I have ever been so glad that it has begun! Ha ha! So even though I feel crampy and dull right now, I know I will be feeling so much better by tomorrow.
Today I am either going to the club or the walking track to run / walk a little. I skipped my morning training today because I was just too uncomfortable and I really need to make up for it. Meanwhile, at work, the crises just go on and on.
Despite one's best intentions (and I have not admit, my intentions weren't the VERY best either) it's really hard to eat right when traveling. I was in Goa all of last week working really hard. Eating properly just fell by the wayside. I tried to stay within the limits, but it's difficult when you don't have your own kitchen - you're eating out all the time and you're entertaining a lot.
I couldn't exercise as I planned either, but since I was constantly moving at the site of the plant and scrambling everywhere, plus running around to all kinds of bueaucratic offices, I haven't put on any weight. Before I left for Goa, I made the big mistake of getting weighed in my jeans (why?!!) and my weight was showing up 700 gms, but I figured I could pretty much disregard that.
This Monday, when I went for my weigh in, my dietician pretty much sighed and told me that she might as well completely disregard the last week because I had not followed the diet at all - and of course I hadn't exercised. I should feel lucky, she said, that I haven't put on more of weight because of my week long binge.
The thing is, the whole time I was away, I didn't "binge" at all. I didn't eat to point of feeling ridiculously full, I didn't snack at odd times, I didn't over snack or anything. I just didn't eat the right food. But I felt it. My body has now become used to eating food in the right quantities and I can't abuse it by eating anything and everything in any amount anymore. I don't want to do it either...
Add to that a weirdly extended PMS time, without TOM actually arriving. I'm bloated and irritable and I really hope I am not pregnant or anything, because even though G and I are planning a pregnancy this year, this would not be a good time.
I am also going to be in Goa for most of next week as well. This time on a working holiday as my siblings will be joining me as well and it won't get so darned lonely. I do expect binging next week so I am going to be EXTRA good this week (not including the fat free gelato last night )
I must be PMSing again because my weight is up, I feel bloated, I am crabby and irritable and I have no patience with anyone. Add to that the stress of a pre-audit inspection on monday and it is as much as I can do to not scream out loud.
I even snapped at my sister on IM. And on top of all the irritability, I have my weigh in a couple of hours and along with the really hard work, I have to make stupid decisions like - where can we put my brother's cats when we do rodent control tomorrow - and who do I pay overtime to come and put those cats somewhere? I know it's all part of the whole thing of being chief decision maker, but I can't understand why Tj loves to keep those cats around the offices! It drives me absolutely batty (or perhaps that is the PMS talking).
To top that, I have eaten so badly all day yesterday that I am terrified of filling out my diet diary. I'm also nervous about the week long work trip to Goa starting this sunday. What is it going to do with diet and exercise? I hate being this crabby.
So I didn't go to the movie and chose to go for a walk instead. Not just any walk, but I decided to at least try out the C25K program. I'd downloaded the podcasts, but I really had to screw up my courage to begin.
I've always been a little terrified of running - ever since I was the fat, little girl, I suppose. At first because I was always so nervous about the teasing and later because I grew so top-heavy that it was actually painful. Even now I have to stop myself thinking that everyone is staring at the big girl lumbering along. There are plenty of other people lumbering along, after all!!
You know, I really wonder where I get my weight from. My parents are not huge - ok, there was a time when dad used to have some weight on him, but he had a mid course correction in 1993 when he had his first brush with cardiac disease. Mom has been skinny to the point of thin most of her life and has only put on the weight post menopause. My sister was only fat through college and her years in Chicago (something to do with American food - which is where I REALLY packed on the pounds) and my brother has been in a permanent struggle to put *on* weight all his life. I am the only person who has consistently had a weight problem all her life.
Which is probably why I was never taught to look after food intake or exercise like I should have been... I promise that I will never force my kids to clean their plates, I will teach them to think about food as fuel only and I am going to teach them to love sport (I hate sport, but G has been a champion most of his life) so they don't think of exercise as a chore.
Work is crazy as well right now. I am going to Baroda tomorrow for the day and then off to Goa plus lots and lots of documentation work to finish. Stress levels are high and they are really telling on dad - I wish I could take charge more but I am still learning the technical stuff and depend on him quite a bit more than I probably should.
I won't be making it to the weigh-in tomorrow, but hopefully I should be able to post a weight on Friday. :-)
So today is a holiday as the Ganpatis are taken out to sea. All roads leading to the sea will be completely jammed up. The crowds are unbelievable and, despite really good traffic arrangements every year, if you're going somewhere, you'd better be back before 5 or risk getting stuck for hours.
G promised me we would go to the club before the crowds started. We try to do things together on holidays else we never really get to spend time together. Then friends called and invited us to a matinee show. We hadn't watched a movie forever so we went along and quite enjoyed it (and I promise that all I had was a little salted popcorn). Came back around 2 and had lunch at home and then G proceeded to fall asleep and cannot be woken up from his nap.
I haven't slept at all (perhaps I should have?), instead I've been on the computer updating my ipod, downloading my phone info and chatting with dad about work.
Since G and the boys can never do anything by halves, they have planned another movie for the evening!! If we go for the 6 o' clock show, there is no way I can get a walk in. They've bought the tickets, but I think I am going to skip this one. I think the walk is way more important...
I don't know why I feel guilty about it. Ok the tickets have been bought, but so what? Here I am choosing to not go to the movie for my own health etc. and I am feeling guilty about telling G et al that I don't want to go for a *movie*? Why?
It's 6:30 P.M. and I am still at work instead of winging my way to the club (and therefore the gym). I can hear loads of traffic outside - why aren't they home watching the India-Pakistan Twenty20 match like most sane Indian men (including G) are?
I've had meetings all day and am living at stress levels I have never contemplated and planning a trip to Baroda on Thursday and Goa on Monday - along with an inspector and loads of documentation.
And it's G's bday this Sunday and I really want to do something nice for him. I would have done tomorrow, but it is a holiday, he'd find out in about a second and I usually choose to stay indoors on this of all days.
The funny thing is - I am knackered, but I know I sure as hell won't go home till i've finished my workout. I never take a day off anymore (I alternate between light and heavy instead) and I love my workouts. Feel terrible without them.
Plus I bought a couple of nice workout t-shirts and I want to use them! My weight training instructor (who is also my power yoga/kickboxing) instructor has traded in my weight training time for a group class and can't give me MWF anymore. Sigh. I guess i can't blame him for that... I'll just have to get on the treadmill.
This evening, after my work out, I am going over to a friend's place. She has been in such bad shape after her last break up. I want her to get better soon, but I don't know what how to get her out of this funk. I certainly don't want to give her cheery, inconsequential advice that she already knows. What do I do?
Well - i had better get going! Good night to some folks and Good morning to others!
I was idly reading the newspaper on my way to work today and I came across this "Health questions answered" series. The question "How long does it take to lose 1 lb?" Answer - "You have to cut out 500 cal from your diet or lose it via exercise for every day in a week to lose 1 lb. i.e. 1 lb = 3500 cal" i.e. 1 kg - 7700 cal!! WHHHAAAAATTTT?????
Is this true? Could this possibly be true? Oh my gosh! I so sincerely regret the ice cream I had last night!
Other than that morning shocker, I've been ok. I've worked out like crazy over the weekend and have been rewarded because I now fit comfortably into these black trousers I had made ages ago but which never fit me (and I was too lazy to get fixed).
But I am going to be FAR more careful now. Wow. That was one scary statistic.
That was twice that I wrote a long long post that was eaten forever by EP. So now I have decided to compose in word and do a little copy and paste.
It’s been a really short, exciting 6 months filled with lots and lots of work and a little travel as well. I have been focusing all my energy on getting Sigma’s big project off the ground and I am doing EVERYTHING for it – from discussing the plans, to placing the purchase orders, to following up, to payments – everything. It’s great because I have free hand and a great deal of responsibility, but it does get a little lonely sometimes when I feel there is so much more to do and I’ve barely begun. It’s also pretty sobering to realize that there is such a significant investment in the bet that my leadership will pay off. Hmm… I don’t think I’ve quite put it that way before.
On the weight front, I just completely ignored my plans of losing the weight permanently this year and pushed myself head first into work. When I returned from visiting my sister in Dubai, I was shocked to see that I was now heavier than I have ever been in my life. I also realized that I really have not been able manage my nutrition and my weight myself. So I went to a nutritionist.
A friend of mine had been to her already and had lost 10 kgs from lifestyle correction. I was starting Shravan (a month in the year when I don’t eat meat or drink alcohol) so it was the ideal time. Suman advised me, not to change the things I had been eating (aside from my horrible chocolate addiction), but change the quantities and, more importantly, the timing. I haven’t been completely religious about following a diet but, aside from a minor setback this week, I’ve lost four kgs! Plus I have a lot more energy than I did before, I can work out longer and I feel so much fitter.
Suman has also given me my latest addiction – a pedometer. You know the psychology – you wear it and then, to make sure that you have done enough steps in the day, you walk when you are on the phone, walk when you are talking to someone and basically, just stay more active. I have to do 10,000 steps a day. Most days I exceed the requirement, but when I don’t work at it, I realize that I can’t slack and get my steps in as well.
Today is a little difficult for me. Since Shravan finished and I can now drink alcohol, I found myself drinking after ages for two days in a row. It has done my stomach no good at all. The diet I am on now also reduces my acidity levels (which are really high because of stress) but it hasn’t helped me counteract the alcohol. So I am off it for the foreseeable future.
I think this post has really exceeded the size of the normal post. More later J
Ok I wrote an EXTRA LONG blog explaning where I've been and what has been happening with my life and the stupid site has erased it. I'd totally forgotten this site did that sometimes.
So I'll post more about what I've been up to later because I am hungry and need to have some lunch.
I'm back! I had a wonderful holiday in Thailand. Phuket was fantastic - we stayed at a beautiful resort, the weather was perfect and we did some awesome sight seeing as well. Bangkok was great too. It's amazing that the city which used to be just like Mumbai some years ago has gone so far ahead. It is incredible! G wanted to do almost no sight seeing in Bangkok (a point of contention between us) but we ended up shopping our hearts out.
I went there with the thought that nothing would fit me, and it almost did not, but they did have larger sizes this time. I was shocked to see that I have actually graduated to almost a 36 waist. We bought some great stuff, but I am determined to have all of it become way too loose for me pretty soon.
The food was fantastic too. We didn't eat too badly - in fact we ate really well, but the killer was that we were out partying every night and we ended up drinking LOTS of beer. When you are sitting on a perfect white sand beach with beautiful blue waters, what can you do, right? ;-) And when they offer you champagne on the aircraft, you can't exactly say no, right? G and I enjoyed our last business class flights as I am leaving my job and will no longer be entitled to flying business (that is the part I will miss).
We've made loads of resolutions, but the most important of them is that we are giving up alcohol for a month. It is just too easy to go out and have a drink with friends every other night and we really need the detox.
I haven't weighed myself yet because I found the weighing scale missing from my room when I got home (the mil must have borrowed it) so I plan on weighing myself tomorrow morning for the (shudder) results of a week of an extremely good time.
Right now it's back to the schedule and I have to figure out a whole new schedule for myself soon because I am doing my last 5 days of notice starting monday! Hurray!! Woohoo!
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