Ok, so GCQmom wanted to know what "Starve for the Husband" Day was -"Starve for the husband" day aka Karva Chauth is coming up this Friday and it's a major festival for North Indian women. I'm from the west of India and my husband is a true blue "Punjabi" from the North so I wasn't brought up with it, but I do it because it's a big deal for G's family.
You wake up at eat at 5 in the morning - before sunrise and then you fast - no water even!! - for your husband's health and prosperity till you see the moon (oh and moon - on purpose, I bet - never comes out till 10 at night on that day ) through a mesh style collander and then you see your hubby's face through it and then you can drink water and eat. We often end up driving around to find the moonrise. Did I mention that, from your second karva chauth, you have to give your mother in law a gift on the day (I assume it means thanks for my husband)
I think it stemmed from a time when a woman's fate - social, economic, etc. was linked very strongly to her husband. She could only participate in society / religious functions etc. if she were a married woman and widows were considered inauspicious. If your husband died, it was very likely that his family would cast you out. So the women did all kinds of things to ensure long lives for their husbands. I don't know why they couldn't have chosen a large party instead of starvation, but who am I to say!!
But the best part is - through all this starvation you have to dress up like a bride - which means red clothes, lots of jewellery, bangles, bindis, henna, the works - and lots of shopping is involved. It's always portrayed as a very romantic thing in the movies here but believe me, by the time you see the moon, you are ready to kill your husband (which would kind of defeat the purpose, I know), but not strong enough to!!
It's pretty archaic, but the tradition is a major bonding time for the women in the family and all the ladies in our apartment building. I just try to do as little as possible. I wake up as late as possible, get a manicure / pedicure and a massage, blow dry and then watch a movie till the evening ritual starts at about 5:00 P.M. That consists of all the women coming together for a small ceremony and telling the proscribed stories and singing and stuff. And after that you can have ONE thing to drink till the moon comes up. G and his brother take us out for fruit milkshakes.
Oh, I also tell G to stay the hell away from me because he keeps asking if I am ok!! There is also a new breed of husbands who keep the fast with their wives. I absolutely oppose this. If a husband keeps the fast, all attention is on him (how sweet! how devoted!) and they get to act like babies on the one day when all the attention should be on you! Instead I cook G an EXTRA special lunch with the fond hope that he will feel hideously guilty about his wife starving at home.
Hey, I said I keep the fast, I didn't say I wasn't also evil
This year, my younger cousin who has also married a north indian boy will be coming to spend the day and evening ceremony with me. So we should have a good time!
Did I also mention that my parents and siblings laugh uproariously each year because I was always so vocal about NEVER DOING this in my vehemently feminist days? Yeah... no really... they do.
Not really good, not naughty enough to blog about, you know? Things are just coasting along. Was a good weekend, but not a good weekend - I totally failed on the 21 day exercise challenge by not going for a walk yesterday. G and I spent the whole day in bed watching movies. Was great to chill together I ate properly most of the day but in the afternoon afternoon I had some pizza and in the evening it was not brilliant - I ate what I should not have - aloo parathas (potato stuffed wheat flat breads ), but I was just too lazy to come up with a dinner menu and we were watching a movie! At least I didn't eat too much
Thing is, about halfway through, I realized that I really wasn't enjoying it. I've had two dinners out - Friday and Saturday and this mess of a Sunday dinner, but I can't say that I have enjoyed them very much (though Saturday was not bad at all, especially since I shared the main course and the delicious dessert which I stopped eating after a few bites). It's just that all the oily taste and the excess carbs just don't have the same mouthfeel as before (my brother develops nutritional products - I learned that wonderful word from him). Problem is, I haven't yet learned what, among the healthy stuff, I really enjoy.
Hmmm... this is a bit of a dilemma. I supposed that all the food I enjoyed were the "cannot haves" but now the "cannot haves" don't taste nearly as good to me. But I still haven't mentally made the shift to - "oh, i'll just have the yoghurt or an apple" yet - you know? My mind seems to think my body will like things it thought were treats before. Then I tell myself that if I don't have it, I will feel like I am on a diet and that I should have it if I really want it - huh??!! I think my mind is screwing with itself due to lack of other drama in my life.
I do know this is a process, it's been a year and more of changing my attitude towards food and weight loss and it will take longer. I KNOW this, but the moments can be pretty hard work and sometimes I feel so demotivated about the whole damn thing (but not demotivated enough to pick up some chocolate yet). I have more work to do, I just need a bit of zest back.
Btw - festival season started here last month - Dassera last week, karva chauth (starve for the husband) day this friday, then start the pre-Diwali card parties and then 5 days of Diwali in the last week of this month. I have to organize ceremonies for all days and worse yet, make and send out sweets and dry fruit baskets to everyone. Sigh... can't imagine having all that in the house. Thank god the diet and exercise is habit now else I would just say forget it till november!
Finally some small movement - I weighed in at 75.8 kgs today!! I did a lot of introspecting and took advice from all the comments to my earlier post and it's worked! You girls rock!
First - I decided not to worry too much about the scales (amazing how when you DON'T think of it, it works) because of the muscle gain / fat loss issue. Instead I tried on, fit into and bought a very pretty skirt and top at a place where NOTHING would fit me before!!! Ok, it was the largest size there, but I FIT into it and I looked hot (seriously, G couldn't keep his eyes off me ). Confession - the skirt was very high waist and very tight and acted like a corset - and the top button did come off when I got home at the very very end of the evening New goal - fit into the skirt perfectly!
Second - I decided to rest . Exercising everyday is really important, but all my workouts have recently become mega-intense and I'd stopped considering a 20 min walk a workout. The fatigue of working out everyday was totally wearing me out. Saturday my body was aching, so, instead of a tough workout, I played with the puppy for an hour. Lots of running around, playing, but not getting into my workout clothes. Sunday I spent the day at the club with friends and really chilled out - all I did was swim for a bit and then splash water at other folks. I felt LOADS better monday (which helped me survive my morning kickboxing session).
Learnings - a) LOOK FOR INCH LOSS; b) REST IS CRITICAL; and c) EXPAND THE SCOPE OF EXERCISE
Ummm... I want to say "DUH!!" but I do realize that one does tend to not see the forest for the trees sometimes. So I am still doing great on exercise now that I have expanded the scope of what I call exercise and I can't see myself stopping even after the challenge stops - by the way, I've totally lost track of how many days I've been doing the challenge and when it ends - perhaps it's for the best!!!
Agreed I did have one night of drinking a bit this week and I did have a couple of small slices of cake - it was G's birthday after all - but I have not missed a single day of exercise - heck I even ran AND my trainer has taken my sessions up a notch too (seriously, I could barely stay awake on Wednesday), TOM has finally left and I am still in the 76s. Up to 76.7, down to 76.1 - but no breaking out of it and I am sick and tired of it. What the heck?
I don't want to completely give up wine (whine whine) either!! Oh come on! I was hoping to have cracked the 75s by now at least. I am going to the club right now.
The last time I added a new post, I was all ready for my evening workout and I DID make it for a walk, but about halfway through, what I thought were PMS symptoms began getting worse and worse until I could barely walk for all the stomach cramps.
Must have been something I ate because I spent all of Thursday groaning in bed with an electric blanket and painkillers and did not get any exercise. Turns out I had gastritis AND PMS. Lol! So Thursday no workout - Missybelle, you need to tell me me if that boots me out of the challenge or not!! Friday I was a whole lot better, but when my trainer saw me walking into the session gingerly he refused to train with me - but I did get some 10-15 minutes pacing instead.
Saturday I was back!! 50 minute walk in the morning (and G was the one who woke me up!!) and yesterday it was a full on session at the gym including some running - not too much though because TOM has arrived a bit early this month - as well as a weights session. This morning I had a kickboxing session. I may not get an evening walk in today because G and I are hosting a dinner for a bunch of friends - it's his birthday tomorrow!
That and I have really had enough of family bonding for the meanwhile. We had to go to yet another aunt's place for dinner last night. She's visiting and had never met G so she cooked loads and loads. G loved everything - and I ate in moderation, but ended the evening with ice-cream. Also - note to self DO NOT weight during your period. It's totally depressing and (hopefully) not too accurate.
Gotta run. Hope everyone in the challenge is rocking! Will check in on all tomorrow!
As I mentioned before, my aunt is a movie star from the 60s (I think, she still does "character" type roles these days), one of her daughters is considered one of the biggest stars in India (and she really is lovely - believe it or not, before she lost oodles of weight and started auditioning for movie roles, she was large and we used to commisserate frequently) and the youngest is an upcoming starlet. The other cousin present last night is gorgeous, tall and thin - supermodel like - used to be an investment banker, now edits a magazine and has just had a child (with no visible effect on her figure) - her younger sister is married to one of the biggest industrialists here. (yes, my family is primarily female and filled with overachievers)
Talk about an intimidating gathering!! But these are the most non fussy, loving, fun-filled people possible. I really always do have a good time with them. It was lovely to reconnect and everyone kept telling me I looked gorgeous (and me thinking, you're saying that with me standing next to these girls??) and how they loved my hair short. I decided to accept the compliments what was the point of disclaiming? I AM gorgeous! We pretty much danced to oldies all night. All the aunts, all the cousins, most of the guests and it was a total blast.
That's what the evening was like last night. Loads of fun - meeting people I hadn't seen in ages, parents' friends, their kids, cousins etc. Thank god that it was just family and close friends - I hate the usual Bombay Times crowd. They are so annoyingly snooty. This was just family and friends living it up and G and I totally loved it.
As a result we were up at eight today - there goes my morning workout plan!! I missed my kickboxing class - despite a text message from my instructor and I've been drowsy all day. I have to run now so hopefully will be able to catch up this evening. Have to drop my brother off at his favourite salon for a haircut - his idea - he is going to be "set up" for the first time tomorrow evening. haha! Then have to get one of those flexi-band things for G's mum and then off to the gym!
By a government officer who won't give me my factory license for frivolous reason after frivolous reason because he wants a bribe. sigh... My staff and I are so demoralized. He's kept us hanging for 4 months already... I'm about to lose it.
At least I exercised yesterday - didn't get to the gym, but went to the track and walked / jogged for 50 minutes. Did the same again this morning since *shocker* G had woken up especially to walk!! Eating was also good, though slightly heavy on the carbs thanks to the addition of a very yummy piece of corn.
Now I have to go out veggie shopping and then on to a dinner party for my aunt's birthday. She (and her two daughters) are really well known movie stars here and she is the most awesome person. When I broke up with someone I was engaged to yonks ago (way way way before my darling G), she came over, sat me down, cigarette in one hand, whiskey in the other and told me that I needed to have a wild raging affair to get over the idiot!!
She also told me that she would be outside all her nieces' wedding venues in the car with the engine running in case any of us should change our minds at the last minute!! At my wedding, she tied my sari (which promptly came lose) and sat at the bar drinking vodka with G's friends - and sneaking some to my mother during the ceremony.
So I have a long long commute ahead of me and I will not have time to go the gym this evening. Good thing I went for a walk in the morning then! Keep at it people!
Lately I've been feeling good about myself but kinda afraid of resting on laurels, you know? Like it's okay to slack off a bit, add dessert, miss a walk, not make much progress with running - stuff like that. Add to that, a friend of mine in London just completed her first 10k run - this girl used to be quite unfit - I am thoroughly impressed with her.
SO when Raspberrycordial referred to Missybelle's challenge to exercise for 21 days starting today, I had to take it up. Not sure if I can do it, mind you, but I sure as heck am going to try. Here are my exercise options as well -
- kickboxing - I do this three times a week actually and have an instructor coming in so I rarely miss it
- walk / jog on the track behind my home
- gym - treadmill / elliptical / weights
I am also going to try to keep to at least 10k steps a day.
I am starting today - all encouragement is helpful!! Now I am off to the gym.
Am so bored at work - am planning to skip out right now and go off to my parents' place. Our little brat of a puppy starts his training sessions today and my brother and I have to be there. He's about 4 months old and growing so very fast. He's also pretty aggressive. Our beloved Volf - whom we lost this March - was a very calm dog so dealing with this munchkin is quite an effort. Here's a picture of Reo curled up in parents' room where he is not allowed. He thinks if he minimizes himself, no one will notice him.
Other than that - excellent food intake over the past three days. No alcohol and FIVE workouts in 2 and a half days (don't worry, am counting wogs as workouts as well). The gods of weight loss should reward me next week - I hope :-)
BUT am getting the PMS munchies and an insane urge to get all dolled up and go out clubbing tonight. Let's see who's up for it!! Have a good weekend everyone!
P.S. Oh - I forgot to add something funny. G saw the pics of self that I've been taking of myself on my phone camera and asked me why I keep taking them. I told him it's because I'm GORGEOUS (and isn't he lucky?!). hahahahaha
P.P.S I've updated my tracker and changed my goal to 72 kgs (that's 158 lbs). It's a good number for me because, at this number I reach normal BMI. Gotta keep raising the bar and I think I can reach there by December but I am in no hurry whatsoever and have decided to enjoy myself no matter what my weight.
It's taken me a bit of time to get my head around the new site. All in all, it's ok... I've always kind of depended on the "new" listings on the homepage to take me to a person's blog rather than the latest post so that is kind of annoying, but other than that, not too bad! Especially the larger font in the editing window!
But back to the business at hand. I've been doing pretty decently. The weekend wasn't TOO bad (other than the attack of the killer brownies). G and I did indulge in some ice cream on sunday as a treat to cover our dejection over having no money to buy a new car and the fact that we are completely broke. Sigh... You know, I love working for the family business, but the pay cut is killing me.
But I am happy today anyway! I have been working out properly, maintaining my weight in the face of starting throes of pms, taking medication for my seriously disturbed stomach (which is calmer now) AND I bunked work yesterday and had a fab manicure and pedicure yesterday. Sheer happiness.
BUT the BEST thing is G woke up at 5:30 AM (ok a little earlier than my usual) and decided to go for a WALK! I was so pleased! I have been trying very subtly to get him to do some kind of morning activity because he has put on so much weight and I think he is finally ready to do something about it. Now I do take this morning with a pinch of salt. He has woken up early before and disappointed me by never following through. Not holding my breath there, but the thing that does make me happy is that I went with him and I feel SO GOOD because I got moving in the morning. My energy levels are higher and my mood is so good
So I am putting a pic of me here in my sunny yellow kurta (which fits me so WELL). Umm.. I don't wear make up everyday and I look washed out because of the grey walls and industrial lighting here but I feel great!
) through a mesh style collander and then you see your hubby's face through it and then you can drink water and eat. We often end up driving around to find the moonrise. 
Did I mention that, from your second karva chauth, you have to give your mother in law a gift on the day (I assume it means thanks for my husband)
), but I was just too lazy to come up with a dinner menu and we were watching a movie! At least I didn't eat too much 
). Confession - the skirt was very high waist and very tight and acted like a corset - and the top button did come off when I got home at the very very end of the evening 
