42nd Day ! Today is actually 7/13/07....Onederland Bound......
Hey Everyone, things are great for me on today! I didn't post yesterday because I had computer issues!!! Grrrrhhhhh I am very HAPPY to see Friday, just knowing that I don't have to get out of the bed until I want is AWESOME! I weigh in tomorrow and Lord Jesus please let me have dropped more than a pound. I know I should be thank-ful for the big as well as the small, but I just want more. Work today was great, I am in training and doing all that I can to maintain a 100% on every test, I am undergoing some.........extensive training. My position is deemed as a public trust position and with that comes more responsibility than I ever imagined! On top of that, one has to know what and how to say anything and it has to be ethical.
I love it though, I believe once my training is done and once I actually get into the position and working with my customers or beneficiary's things will be awesome. Today was great though! I hope all of you are well and losing lots of weight, but above all that, I pray that you all are happy and healthy! God Bless you all! Listed below is my Food Log:
41st Day ! Better Today, Seeking a Happier Tomorrow!
Today I am better, not having the blues, no FUNK, just happy being me. I got on the scale at the ___ crack of dawn to weight myself and nothing but a 1 pound lost, I guess I should be thankful. But I wish it had been more, so I am not adding it to my weight loss graph until this Saturday when I weigh myself again. I mean it is amazing, I know I am losing because my clothes are looser, yet the scale only moves a little notch.... So, I guess I need to just shut up and take what I can get! Work today at the new job was exciting, I got into some training on the computer that was interactive training and very, very interesting! I believe I am going to do awesome. There are several different modules in the training program and before you proceed to the next set of modules you must pass each test with a score of a 75 % or higher. I struggled really hard with one set of the procedures, but when it came time to take my test my positive mode moved in and I mastered that test with a 100%. I was like WOOOOOHOOOOO! So today turned out to be a much better day than yesterday. Listed below is my
I am so SICK of being referred to as the "pretty heavy set girl", I would like to be the pretty girl. I could definitely do without the HEAVYSET part! Toodles to all, I am going to work out....
Today I am sad, I feel like I am straving myself and all for nothing. A week and no weight loss, I am in yet another FUNK. I feel so discouraged and I don't get this way often, but by golly, I should have lost some pounds by now! This is just unfair, I am following my plan, not cheating and still no weight loss! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON ? I started the new job on Monday of this week and everything there is great, I love the people, I got my badge and I go and get my finger prints done on tomorrow. I guess I am really FRUSTRATED grrrrrhhhhhhh because I want to reach my goal of ONEDERLAND before my nephews wedding in August. I have nothing to prove, but it is just a personal goal I would love to reach! I don't usually get down like this, this is new for me but I have just had a little minor breakdown! I mean crying and all. I got on the scale this morning....NOTHING and so I tried to see if something could shake up this evening and NOTHING again. Totally and completely FRUSTRATING!!!!!When you are doing all that you are supposed to and nothing. I have been at a plateau at what seems like forever, but I will not GIVE UP, I must GO ON! Coming here is my strength. YOU all give me the strength to want to go on. ( even when I'd rather have chocolate cake or my favorite pecan roll at my favorite donut shop) I guess eventually it will happen. I will meet my goal, but oh the HELL you have to go through to get there. I know it is recommended to never say NEVER.....But I am making changes, making moves and revamping my life. I WILL NEVER BE FAT AGAIN......Listed below is my food log:
****And although I love opinions and help from other going through my struggle, please no one say anything about my fat intake today, I literally struggled to get it there****
When I work I don't eat as many calories and as I said in one of my blog entries early on, I am having a problem, if I increase my calories my fat is lower. If I lower my fat my calories increase. I need to find a happy medium. The good thing is this, I am keeping on just going through a phase today. Good Luck to EVERYONE!
* Today's reason for wanting and needing to lose weight*
ONCE I lose all my weight, I will hopefully never shed another tear over anything that has to do with weight or weight loss....because emotionally I am tired of it!
39th Day.....The jobs seems as if it will be INTERESTING!
I am doing okay and I had a great day on my first day of work! I truly enjoyed myself, the people were all very kind.....Hopefully it stays that way! I am sure it will, I enjoy getting along with people! That is very important to me! To work in a good working environment where everyone is healthy and happy! Anyway, I had to be at the computer doing training all day and it was exhausting! ! ! But it was good. I did well in the eating department, making healthy choices, at lunch I went for a little walk around the facility. I now work on a military base. Well, I am sleepy I still need to eat dinner, and I still need to workout. And get ready for my SECOND DAY! Listed below is my Food Log......
Today is a good day I am just so ready to be in ONEDERLAND ! ! ! Come on ONEDERLAND. I am doing well and I am happy, but like everyone else I want more! I took my pill today and now I have loads of energy and I am not as hungry. I know I must do this on my own, and I will. How is everyone doing? I start my new job tomorrow, I need to do my nails and I need to do my toes and my hair...So I can be fabulous on tomorrow! I have got to shine.
Breakfast - Plain Oatmeal w/I Can't Believe it Not Butter & Equal 145 cal/ 2 grams fat
****I find when I keep myself busy, I wanna don't eat****
But I know I need too!
Dinner - 3 oz of broiled fish 160 cal/2 grams fat
1/2 cup brocolli/45 cal/2grams
Snack - Rice cake 50 cal
water water and more water!
Total Calories - 660 cal
Total Fat - 10 grams
New thing - Brought a pedometer and I will be including steps at the end of my day in my blog....This entry is AMAZING, I can remember when I first brought one of these when I worked for the state I would only walk 1,200 steps....NOW for today I maxed at 20, 264! See what eating healthy and exercising can do for you!
*Today's reason for wanting and needing to lose weight*
I am tired of sweating everywhere there is a nook or crannie! That is gross but true!
As most of you may know, I am on Phen-D and my weight loss on the appetite suppresant has been very good, steadily and all. Well, today I wanted to see what would happen if I didn't take a pill, how much energy would I have? Would I eat more and what other problems if any would I have? Here is what happened. For one, I had a headache all day. Secondly, I ate more. Although I stayed within my caloric and fat range, I did notice many changes. I was sleepy all day. The only change that didn't take place was my constant thought that I wanted, and needed to lose weight. I for one think that is a great thought and proves that I will lose this weight whether I have help from pills or any other type of help. I have always thought that taking this pill was basically mind over matter. Although in my mind it seems there may be some validity to that thought or theory, I do better when my pill is taken. The pill does just what it is supposed too, once I start to eat I am full. Listed below is my Food Log, although I am listing everything and recording calories and fat know that I couldn't even eat all the food, but the recording of it is to keep me in check with my progress.....
Today was my last day at my job and all I can say is "oh what a relief it is!" I am so happy to be being a new chapter in my life. I start my new job on Monday and I am estatic ! ! ! My girls at my old job had a going away potluck and there was more than enough fattening foods, but I was really good. I ate like I was skinny, because that is the plan to get skinny. Listed below is my Food Log:
Breakfast - coffee w/nonfat & very little half & half 40/1.5 grams fat
Nectarine - 65 cal/1 gram of fat
Lunch - Salad w/craisins almonds and chicken - 1/2 cup approx. 145 cal/ 4 grams fat
1 Taquito - 110 cal/4 grams fat
1 spoon of mac and cheese 80 cal/3 grams fat
(These are only estimates!) I have leaned more toward the higher caloric count
Fresh Fruit - 1 small piece of canteloupe and 1 small piece of honeydew melon - 45 cal
Dinner - Jack In the Box Chicken Fajita Pita w/o salsa - 280 cal/ 9 grams
This is only a estimate and I actually added more calories and fat on most of the items on my log, better to be safe than sorry. I am thankful that I was able to eat and use discipline.
Total Calories - 685 cal/estimate (no more than 850)
Total Fat - 19.5 This too is a estimate/I am sure it probably was less.
* Todays reason for needing to lose weight- Being able to go to the store and buy regular sized clothes and not full-figure due to my buttocks and hips! *
This morning I am charged and really ready for anything and anybody that comes my way. I mean really, right here and right now I can handle almost anything. I am at another DARN plateau and not very happy. My doctor said I would hit one soon, boy was he not lying. Grrrrhhhhhhhh.... I guess it is time to change up some things. You know? I am on my last 2 days at the company I am with. On tomorrow which is my last day they are giving me a potluck. I am not really, really excited about that, but thankful that they think that much about me.
In an effort not to offend, I will eat, but very, very little and I have already told them that. My healthier eating habits are so much more important to me right now compared to eating a piece of sweet cake ! I am in a zone and there is no turning back, I have to do this. I am busy here at work, but I will not bust my a.....The reason isno one else does and I am not going to work myself to death on the last couple of days, my supervisor is soooooooo clueless she won't appreciate it. She is one of the most condescending/ arrogant persons I have ever met and I will not miss her.
When I intially gave her my notice (The President of the company hired me and I felt an obligation to talk to her about my resignation, I didn't want anything to be altered, changed or mixed up) or she found out about it, by the president she was so rude. Instead of saying something to the effect of "I wish you well or congrats", this woman said "If that is what you want". I am sick of her! But I will NOT allow her to add extra stress on me because I am already in Plateau Hell. Some people are so unhappy and misery truly does love company! I guess I had better get back to work. My Food List Follows :
* Today's reason for wanting and needing to lose weight*
* I need to be able to walk pass men and not have comments about my BUTT! Although I like my butt if it were a tad bit smaller, the comments might not be so tough to handle *
35th Day ! Relaxing.....Then Emotional Firecrackers! ! !
Today was wonderful in the sense that it was pretty peaceful until about 6pm. My two boys went to a parade with their Dad and my daughter worked until six. My daughter came home complaining about being hungry and I told her there was food in the house and when she made something I commented "you aren't going to eat all that". Sure enough, she became offended. Attitude present and all that. TO make a LONG story short, my daughter is absolutely gorgeous and to date doesn't have a weight problem, there are times when she makes large meals and fills her plate and doesn't eat all the food, this is why I made the comment. Well, after talking to her, she said "I act like she is fat and I always have something to say about her weight". This is not true, when we first moved back to California she was eating out to much (this was over 2 years ago!) and I told her that if she kept eating out she would gain weight, (and she has!) I explained to her that I have had a weight problem all my life and that I didn't want her to go through the same thing. As a teenage girl or younglady you know everything and she just felt and still does that I am just being mean. That isn't the case. But! I have made up my mind, I will not say a thing about anything she eats, how much she eats or where she eats. She will be 18 yrs old in September and she will soon find out the real deal with life and gaining weight and the HE__ you have to go through to lose it! So....that is the day I had. Not very fun! Then a friend came over to grill me some chicken and made me mad! So...here I am now all alone and about to go to bed once I workout....I hope everyone else has had a pleasant day and not as many emotional firecrackers were going off like I had in my presence today! Stay happy, keep losing and trust yourself and your judgement....Toodles...My infamous Food Log is below:
Breakfast - 2 slices of turkey bacon/70 cal/3 grams fat
* Today's reason for losing weight - I am getting older and as I get older, I want to be healthier and wiser. Therefore able to conquer anything that comes my way*
**** I have worked out, now I am going to bed, Good Night EVERYONE!****
Hey Everyone, things are great for me on today! I didn't post yesterday because I had computer issues!!! Grrrrhhhhh
I am very HAPPY to see Friday, just knowing that I don't have to get out of the bed until I want is AWESOME! I weigh in tomorrow and Lord Jesus please let me have dropped more than a pound. I know I should be thank-ful for the big as well as the small, but I just want more. Work today was great, I am in training and doing all that I can to maintain a 100% on every test, I am undergoing some.........extensive training. My position is deemed as a public trust position and with that comes more responsibility than I ever imagined! On top of that, one has to know what and how to say anything and it has to be ethical. 
Today was great though! I hope all of you are well and losing lots of weight, but above all that, I pray that you all are happy and healthy! God Bless you all! Listed below is my Food Log:
Today I am better, not having the blues, no FUNK, just happy being me. I got on the scale at the ___ crack of dawn to weight myself and nothing but a 1 pound lost, I guess I should be thankful. But I wish it had been more, so I am not adding it to my weight loss graph until this Saturday when I weigh myself again. I mean it is amazing, I know I am losing because my clothes are looser, yet the scale only moves a little notch.... So, I guess I need to just shut up and take what I can get! Work today at the new job was exciting, I got into some training on the computer that was interactive training and very, very interesting! I believe I am going to do awesome. There are several different modules in the training program and before you proceed to the next set of modules you must pass each test with a score of a 75 % or higher. I struggled really hard with one set of the procedures, but when it came time to take my test my positive mode moved in and I mastered that test with a 100%. I was like WOOOOOHOOOOO! So today turned out to be a much better day than yesterday. Listed below is my 
Today I am sad, I feel like I am straving myself and all for nothing. A week and no weight loss, I am in yet another FUNK. I feel so discouraged and I don't get this way often, but by golly, I should have lost some pounds by now! This is just unfair, I am following my plan, not cheating and still no weight loss! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON ? I started the new job on Monday of this week and everything there is great, I love the people, I got my badge and I go and get my finger prints done on tomorrow. I guess I am really FRUSTRATED 
grrrrrhhhhhhh because I want to reach my goal of ONEDERLAND before my nephews wedding in August. I have nothing to prove, but it is just a personal goal I would love to reach! I don't usually get down like this, this is new for me but I have just had a little minor breakdown! I mean crying and all. I got on the scale this morning....NOTHING and so I tried to see if something could shake up this evening and NOTHING again. Totally and completely FRUSTRATING!!!!!
When you are doing all that you are supposed to and nothing. I have been at a plateau at what seems like forever, but I will not GIVE UP, I must GO ON! Coming here is my strength. YOU all give me the strength to want to go on. ( even when I'd rather have chocolate cake or my favorite pecan roll at my favorite donut shop) I guess eventually it will happen. I will meet my goal, but oh the HELL you have to go through to get there. I know it is recommended to never say NEVER.....But I am making changes, making moves and revamping my life. I WILL NEVER BE FAT AGAIN......Listed below is my food log:
Today was wonderful in the sense that it was pretty peaceful until about 6pm. My two boys went to a parade with their Dad and my daughter worked until six. My daughter came home complaining about being hungry and I told her there was food in the house and when she made something I commented "you aren't going to eat all that". Sure enough, she became offended. Attitude present and all that. TO make a LONG story short, my daughter is absolutely gorgeous and to date doesn't have a weight problem, there are times when she makes large meals and fills her plate and doesn't eat all the food, this is why I made the comment. Well, after talking to her, she said "I act like she is fat and I always have something to say about her weight". This is not true, when we first moved back to California she was eating out to much (this was over 2 years ago!) and I told her that if she kept eating out she would gain weight, (and she has!) I explained to her that I have had a weight problem all my life and that I didn't want her to go through the same thing. As a teenage girl or younglady you know everything and she just felt and still does that I am just being mean. That isn't the case. But! I have made up my mind, I will not say a thing about anything she eats, how much she eats or where she eats. She will be 18 yrs old in September and she will soon find out the real deal with life and gaining weight and the HE__ you have to go through to lose it! So....that is the day I had. Not very fun! Then a friend came over to grill me some chicken and made me mad! So...here I am now all alone and about to go to bed once I workout....I hope everyone else has had a pleasant day and not as many emotional firecrackers were going off like I had in my presence today! Stay happy, keep losing and trust yourself and your judgement....Toodles...My infamous Food Log is below: