What can I say?
I haven't completely given up... but I've been skipping workouts like crazy. I haven't been eating right, but I haven't been bingeing. Aaron and his family left on Saturday morning, and I've been alone and okay ever since. I wanted to ask my doctor about phentermine, but since she is renovating the office I couldn't get in contact with her, and she'll be closed until July 2nd. So, it looks like I'll be able to think of some things before taking the next step.
Since Aaron left I've been texting a couple of my ex's. And I feel guilty. I just feel like Aaron and I are best friends, and not lovers. I'm happy that we're so close, but I want some passion in my life, in my relationship. And... with my ex's all we had was passion. And so I'm torn right now. I just feel like such a horrible person for even having these thoughts. And I spoke to Aaron about it last night and he told me that he would leave me for sure if I did anything stupid. He made me feel really bad. He says that he understands because he has the same thoughts about other women, but porn is enough to quench his thirst. What do I have to quench mine? I'm just so frustrated... I don't know what to do.