Blehh...

BFL Day ???

So... I suck.  I've missed like 4 workouts since June started (2 of those were because our gym had a power shortage... but I still could have worked out at home).  I've binged at least 2 non-free-day nights on sugary cake snacks and cookies with milk.  I've totally gotten off the BFL way of eating (although I'm still eating relatively well).  And I'm still doing the BFL workouts, but some days I find myself half-assing it.  I know  that the reason I've gotten off plan is because I haven't experienced any results on the surface.  My fat bulges have not gotten smaller, my clothing still fits tight, and I still feel like a whale.   My "Roxy Fund", which is bascially some cash I saved up for when I need to get some new clothing because I thought I was actually going to lose some weight, is still sitting there untouched.  Makes me mad. The calorie counting hasn't gone so well because of all of the late night binges.  And TOM is in town... my WI on Saturday morning said 213 pounds.  I really hope its just the water retention.  I started this weightloss journey 7 months ago weighing 217 pounds.  And now look where I am. I know that I am healthier inside, and that I am much stronger, I have more muscle than I've ever had in my life... but I'm just so disappointed in myself.  I would have thought that I would weigh around 165 (around a 50 pound loss) by this time.  I thought I would have been too small for even my skinny jeans.  I was hoping that this summer I would be able to atleast go to the beach in shorts (perhaps not a two piece bathing suit or anything) or a sundress. 

Anyway, the important thing is that I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself, or beating myself up for not being good enough, or motivated enough.  I'm ready to recommit, I'm ready to start planning meals again, I'm ready to keep track of my calories even more, I'm ready to keep going, keep making myself healthier and more beautiful.  Aaron is leaving for Utah in one week, and I'm ready to make those 2 weeks of independence all about me.  Quitters give up, and I am certainly not giving up.

I was thinking of talking to my doctor about something to help get the ball rolling on the weightloss.  Maybe I'll ask her about phentermine just for a few months or so.  I think once I've lost around 20 pounds I'll be more motivated to keep on going. We'll see how that goes.

Roxy

Phentermine

I know some people are "Anti-Phentermine", because they think it's the easy way out and that it's not a struggle. True, it's not AS hard to lose weight on it, as it is without, but it's still a struggle. You have to remember that if you decide to go on Phentermine (and you have 100% of my support), you still have to eat right, drink lots of water, and exercise. You know...still make those positive changes that will stick with you for a lifetime, or all the weight is going to come right back once you're done. The good news, however, is that it IS going to help you with your binge eating. It's not going to make them disappear...trust me on that one, but at least you'll have less binging moments, and you'll have time to think about WHY you do it. Good luck!