Fumbling around in my jacket pocket, I  grasp my key and slide my YMCA membership card under the scanner.  I smile at the short, fat lady who's always at the front desk.  I think to myself, "She needs to be using some of this equipment, right along with me!' I am so mean.  How is one fat person going to judge another one?  I think thats called fat-on fat crime

"Good Morning, how are you"? says the front desk lady sweetly.  Guiltily, I reply

"Feeling fine."

"Thats good to hear" she replies distractedly and goes back to being engrossed in  her crossword book . I grab a towel off the counter and head over to the now all too familiar cardio area.

This was the end of my second straight week of working out at the gym.  I was totally over worrying if everyone was staring at me or laughing at my snails pace on the treadmill. I was actually....dare I say, actually LIKING the sense of accomplishment and the after workout rush of energy I would get.

Plus, let's be frank, there was plenty of hot eye candy for a happily married woman like myself to bathe my eyes in.  No harm in just looking!

It seems that the same cast of characters always worked out at the same time.

There was the old lady, always in a good mood, and was in way better shape than me! Then there was the skinny chick who ran on the treadmill like she was outrunning a killer cheeseburger.  You know the kind, you wonder "why are they here?' and then you get annoyed and then you realize your probably just jealous.  Oh and of course, the super buff gym dude, who you are convinced lives at the gym and feeds off of nothing but protein drinks!

30 minutes later, sweating profusely, I dismounted, fought off a wave of dizziness and it was off to the weight room.  "Oh God, its leg day!" I groaned, but I went ahead and knocked it out.  After two weeks and a crash course on how to use the machines I was being transformed into a rat.  A regular "gym rat".

Did I fail to mention there was 4 pounds less of me to love.  There just might be something to this exercise thing!

In the beginning.......her thoughts were racing as she suited up for battle.  Her breathing was shallow as she strained trying to tie her shoes.  She pulled the hood up over her head and zipped up.  "Just go back and lay down"  the voice in her head urged.  "you know you are only gonna stick with it a week or two.....why bother?"

This is the way the enemy worked it seduced her with thoughts of slumber, surrender, sweets whatever tools it had found that made her succumb so many times in the past. 

She laughed to herself and said "I've already been down that road,heeded your suggestions and look at where it has led.  I am lumbering around in a 265 pound body, that has been abused and unloved for too long. My health, which IS my life is in danger....

I will not lay down and die without a fight......and if I falter, I will get back up and fight on..

She grabbed her gym bag, filled her water bottle,made her way to the front door and stepped outside into the thick snow and stinging wind.  It seemed as if even nature was testing her resolve.

But today there would be no stopping her....she was on her way to "The Gym"

"It matters not how many times I have failed, I have only to succeed once...and I have SUCCEEDED!"