Back for the last time...

Hi! Everyone I'm back for the last time..(I hope). I know it no judgement here because we are all working towards the same goal but let me just say I am not happy where I'm at. I'm probably 40lbs heavier than I was on here. It was hard to even type that. Who wants to face their demons. NO ONE! I don't know where my motivation went. I'm not even sure why it left but its gone and I want it back! One of my very good friends is getting married March 2014 and I don't want to be/can't be this size when she walks down the isle, I will be walking down the isle before in a probably strapless dress and I just want to feel comfortable and know that I look good and everyone isn't pointing and whispering behind my back. I know I can loose the weight, I have before. I know I can change if I want to.