I have IR

When I first started losing weight back in 2005 I did so because I was severely depressed, and I saw overcoming PCOS as a way to overcoming my depression.  I treated myself like a patient needing to overcome an illness.  I took it seriously. 

It is when I dropped my guard and no longer thought of myself as sick that I quit taking my meds--including eating right and exercising.  For a woman with PCOS and is insulin resistant . . . fresh, healthy foods and exercise ARE her medications.  I MUST remember that!!!!

I am not depressed right now, so that is not my motivation . . . but I am insulin resistant.  I must remind myself that I am SICK and that I need to eat right and exercise in order to heal myself. 

I am not doing this because I want to lose weight (I do but that is just a fringe benefit).  I am doing this because I need to be healthy, not sick.

This is not a game.  Failure is not an option (when I make a bad choice, I need to forgive myself and then move on getting right back to linking and balancing--to learn from my bad choice). 

This is for life.  I must make changes I can live with forever.

a sharp tack

in the IR book they talk about Zeb and Neb and howling dog.  The dog is howling because he is sitting on a tack.  And, apparently, since the tack isn't sharp enough, the dog isn't moving, just howling.

They relate this to those of us who are trying to lose weight . . . that our tack needs to be sharp enough.  So . . . here is my sharp tack . . .

• I hate being tired all the time.
• I don't like having constant headaches.
• I want to fit into all my cute clothes that I bought when I was at a lower weight.
• I want to feel comfortable in my own skin.
• I want to not feel fat.
• I didn't like it when a friend looked at me and said "yeah but you don't really use them all that often" meaning the free gym at my apartment.  She might not have meant anything, but I don't like thinking that people think less of me because I am overweight.
• I want to feel sexy.
• I want to feel attractive.
• Heck, I just want to feel comfy in my own skin.
• I want to put PCOS into "remission"
• The fatigue . . . that is a big one.  I really am very tired of always being tired!!
• Yeah, so that means . . . I want ENERGY.  PCOS has stolen it from me, and I want it back!
• I want to one day have children, and I don't want it to be overly challenging due to being overweight.
• I want to live longer.
• I don't want to one day have diabetes.
• I don't want to one day have heart problems.
• I don't want to need to start taking high blood pressure pills.
• Basically, I want to be healthy and feel good about myself.

need to get back on track

for like 6 months . . . half a year . . . I've been chanting "ok tomorrow I really will start."  I've been making 1/2 good and 1/2 bad choices--which at least allowed me to maintain and not gain anymore.  But, has left me frustrated and without any more loss.  I exercised a few times . . . but not enough to establish a routine or make a real difference.

So . . . I am ready to stop "tomorrowing" it and get started with really making a difference.  I have been at this "temporary" weight for two years.  Ha.  So much for being temporary.  Makes me mad at myself!!

I just finished reading the Insulin Resistance Diet.  And, I am going to try it out to see if I can do it.  Right now I am just trying to link and balance.  I also want to try to get two fruit and three veggie servings a day. 

Concerning drinks.  I am going to work on drinking more water--a glass with each meal and with my vitamins.  And, if I order teas from tea stands, I will order them sugar-free---not just 1/2 sugar. 

That is where I am going to start.  I can add more later.

The IR book gives exercise suggestions . . .
     1. Add more brisk activity
     2. 25 min of aerobic activity three times a week
     3. 10 min of weight-bearing activity

So, I am also going to attempt this too.  Before I've kinda been an "all or nothing" girl.  I didn't want once a week or even three times a week.  I wanted 6 times a week of 60 min of sweat.  So, maybe if I lower my standard to three times a week of 25 min . . . I can get the ball rolling.

So . . . this is where I am starting and we'll see what happens from there!!

Another Way to Measure

I've been reading The PCOS Protection Plan by Colette Harris and Theresa Cheung.

Again, they reiterate that it is possible for women with PCOS to lose weight and be healthy again, but that it is going to take time.  They suggest 2-3 months to see the benefits.

Instead of letting this get me down and make me frustrated with/at PCOS, I am letting this info comfort me.  I am not all that weird or different.  I am just like many other PCOS women.  The fact that it takes me 3 months to start losing weight after starting a diet makes me a "normal" PCOS woman (if there is such a thing).

I am sure that you have already heard about meansuring yourself in ways other than weight--such as dress size or using a tape measure or comparing pictures.  But, in their book, Harris and Cheung suggest yet one more method to measuring success.

They suggest that we make a list of our symptoms and then rank them 1 to 100 to reflect their severity.  They also suggest getting some baseline medical tests so that the unseen factors (cholesterol, blood pressue, and hormones) can be tracked too.  And, then every 4 weeks revist this plan and reevalute their severity.

I think this is a great idea!

For me, I am using a 1-10 scale (it'seasier).  1 being not an issue; 5 being a noticable problem. and 10 being a sever problem.

And, I am ranking this symptoms: Depression Fatigue Loss of Aunt Flo Acne Hairloss Hair on face Out of Shape Blood Pressure Resting Pulse Weight
The last three of course I am using the actual numbers.  I wish I had baseline cholesterol and insulin resistance, and hormone levels to report and keep track of, but I don't.   I am going to reevaluate on the 1st of each month--the same day I take new pictures and use a tape measure.

Anyway, I love this idea, so I'd thought I'd share it.

an insight

it is hard not to .. .

It is hard not to make a bad choice when I am not getting rewarded for the good ones.

If I am doing what is "right" and the scales are still climbing . . . it gives so little incentive to not do what is wrong.

Know what I mean?

Weight Loss and PCOS.

I lost 60 lbs even though I have PCOS.

I first added activity to my life. I took the stairs; I walked to work; I walked to the store.

Second, I quit snacking on unhealthy carbs. I avoided (but not eliminated) white foods (potatoes, pasta, white bread, rice). I ate more protein, and I drank lots of water (over 2000 ml a day). If I ate carbs, I also ate some protein. I was not on a diet. I simply found a way of eating that my body responded to . . . most of the time. If I was “dieting” I would have been so discouraged to bounce back and forth the same 6 pounds for the first 4 months of 2004.

Third, I also took 2000 mg of Metformin (I started it again in March 2005–why my body began responding to my healthy choices again). I also was taking 1200 mg of Calcium, a B-Vitamin complex, and a daily vitamin. I also stopped drinking Diet Cokes and switched to green teas (yes, plural, because there are so many wonderful flavors out there) instead. I also attempted to add more cinnamon into my cooking.

Fourth, I also exercised. I was riding me bike a lot and even started lifting free weigts. At the time, I loved it. I also found support and encouragement online with soulcysters.net.

As I lost weight my PCOS symptoms seemed to reverse. I had less acne, plucked chin hairs less often, and lost less hair in the shower. For the first time in my life, my cycle was excatly 28 days!

So . . . I am going to do the same basic things again to try to re-lose 30 of those 60 pounds AND continue to lose to my goal.  This time I am also on Diane 35 (which actually has weight gain as a common side-effect), so that will be an extra challange! 

Ahh . . . . so many challenges . . . .


Oh, yeah, one thing is different, this time I am kinda using South Beach as my guide.  I am actually starting with phase 2 since I don't have the time to do phase 1 right now.  I am doing phase 2 of south beach, exercising, and taking meds/vitamins.  When school lets out, I might try phase 1 for a couple of weeks, to kinda give me a extra rev up in the metabalism area after a few months of eating better.  I don't know, we'll see.

I am rambling now . . . point is this . . .. weight loss with PCOS is possible.  It is not however easy.  And, it is not a consistent, evenly spaced declining line.  And, I have to right now make up my mind to not let that bother me.

my pcos story (long)

Goals for Week of 4/9/07