Shopping

I just got finished grocery shopping!! I found some GOOD stuff 100 calories or less to snack on!!!!!! This was my first real time buying food since I have been on my diet, everything I picked up I read the back of and little did I know there are some bad food out there! Mac & cheese will NEVER enter my mouth again!! I have only had 105 calories today and I am about to leave again to go have tea with my soss class. When I get back me and Billy Blanks are going to get it on!!!

A New Me!

I was reading thru all of my post and I noticed somthing I either bitch or whine!! Well from this day forward (unless I have to),  no more bitching and whining for me. I am going to stay focused on the good things in my life (like my weight loss) and screw the bad!!

I hope everyone had a better day than I did. I had lots of water and I didn't get to exercise, but I will make up for it tomorrow! My sons class is throwing all the Moms a tea party for Mother's day tomorrow!! I can't wait to go. He loves for me to go in his class, he acts all big and bad! But for some reason when I get ready to go he don't act so big and bad! School will be out May 23rd and I can't wait to have him home all day until I have to go to work at 3:30pm! Well ladies I have to take my tail to bed before the little girl wakes with a hungry belly!

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Okay I'm pissed I just type this long ass blog and when I went to preview it, it went away, I lost the damn thing!!!!!!

Anyway I was doing alot of venting about my mom and my hub. I don't know what to do! My mom isn't a good mom at all. I was beat and called very bad names by her growing up. I have grown up to forgive her, but sorry never will forget! We have a relationship like friends that don't talk that much ya know what i mean. i don't get to close to her cause i will end up getting hurt by her. She hasn't ever been a Mom to my 14 year old lil sis. I had to raise her since she was 5 until I moved out of my dads house. My parents divorced cause she slapped my big sis in the face causing her to move out at the age of 17. My Dad is the only person in my life that I can count on no matter what!

I met my hubby at the age of 15 and got pregnant at 16. Yeah way to young I know, but I love my son to death and wouldn't change it for the world. When I got pregnant my hubby which was my bf at the time wanted me to get an abortion. Sorry NO!! I am 150% against that. I had to fight for my sons life for 5 months of my pregnancy. My hubby never told his parents he had a baby on the way. Well of course he left me 5 months pregnant and got to go on with his life as if nothing had ever happened. Well 2 make a LONG story short the day I had my son, my dh showed up and wanted to get back together and be a part of our sons life. Well dumbass me took him back  with open arms cause I did love him even after the shit he put me thru. We got married when my son was 2 and as all of you already know we had our second baby 6 weeks ago. I have been there for him since the day we started dating. I was there the day he almost lost his job for stealing money from his boss. I was there for him the day his Grandma past away. I have been there like a wife should be there for her husband. I get left alone when I need him. I had a miscarriage a year ago, well he went to work the day after it happened, his boss told him to stay home, but no he just had to go to work. Every time I have needed him he hasn't been there. He knows how I was treated by my Mom and he doesn't care. I want to be happy for once in my life. I don't want my kids to think this is how a marriage works. I want to get out of this marriage, but I also want to stay. I have talked to him about this, but he don't want to hear it. I have asked him to go to counseling, but no he don't think we have a problem. I have tried to just live with him and not talk or anything, but that's not a marriage. I know in my heart that if we split up it would not hurt him. I just want to do right by my kids and be happy. He is the only man I have ever even dated. I just don't know what to do!!!!!

A good day!!

Okay last week wasn't my  fav week by a long shot, but I have a good feeling about this week. I drunk so much water yesterday it was crazy!! Then last night during American Idol I lifted weights and done cruches. I just feel so good about loseing weight now. I need to feel good and feel that I can do this no matter what. I did lose the 2lbs that I gained last week YAY!!

Let me tell ya. I was laying on the sofa holding my little girl yesterday and my shirt was up a little. Well my 6 year old comes over and says "Mama whats that on your stomach?" I said "Oh my stretch marks that was caused by you!". He looked at me like Mama I didn't do that to you. I hate my stretch marks!! I think when I lose all my weight and I keep it off for awhile I am going to see about having them ugly things removed!

Well I'm going to see how all you ladys are doing today!!

Happy Tuesday!!

Okay I got Ginger to eat yesterday afternoon!!! I'm so happy that she made it. We wasn't that close before, but now when I go out there she stays right by myside. Like she is thanking me for taking care of her.

Well I'm happy about Ginger, but not me. I started the new pill saturday and haven't lost not one pound!! I exercise everyday and still nothing. I drank my water and still nothing. I'm going to lose my mind instead of weight! But I'm not going to give up. I'm going to keep doing the same ol stuff and maybe just maybe it will work. I had my daughter 6 weeks ago tomorrow and I'm still wearing my maternity jeans. I have to think positive! I can do this (i think)!

Monday

Okay it's Monday, so I thought I will give a little update on Ginger and ME!!!

Ginger has went back outside with her buddies. She still want eat anything for me. I called the vet Saturday and he said try Gatorade, chicken and rice soup, tomate soup, ensure, just anything she will get down. Well of course I went out and bought everything. Nothing, she didn't want any of it! I also bought some of the cheese in the can, I put some on my finger and she licked just a little. She is walking now which is awesome! I took her outside last night to see if she might want to see our other dogs that she lives with. When she got to the fence she sat down and look up at me like please can I go back with them. So I put her back over the fence and they all loved on her. I didn't want her to go back out this soon, but she is so happy out their. So I think she is going to be just fine!! Thank God!!

On to me!! I did gain 2lbs last week, but thats okay I'm not worried because I am determined this week to have a big loss! I go back to work next Monday, so that is my motivation! I started the Tenuate and I love it!! It doesn't make me stay up all night like with the phen.

Update

We got Ginger home yesterday around 6pm. When we got threre the vet wanted to talk to us. He said that we could take her home, but she still isn't right. She is out of it. He said he has never seen a dog act this way after a snake bite. She is on all kinds of meds. If she doesn't get any better by lucnh today we have to call him so he can do some blood work on her. Ginger has always been our guard dog and she has an evil side to her, but looking at her right now you wouldn't think it. Our toy poodle Winston went over to her cage and she let him no real quit like to get away! I slept in our den next to her and woke up alnight to make sure she was still breathing. She still isn't eating either so that worries me! I got her drink some water this moring, but I have to hold her head up so she can drink. If you could continue to keep her in your thought that would be great!

On another note. I started my Tenuate today. I feel like crap. The doc said it would make you feel funny the first day and he was right. I'll let ya know how it works for me. I did gain 2lbs last week, but I don't even care right now. I just have more to lose next week. I thank all of you for caring about my Ginger. You don't know how greatful I am to all of you!!

My animals

My husband and I are animals lovers (me a little more than him). We have 6 dogs and 1 chinchilla. Our outside dogs are Jeg, Abbie, Lady, and Ginger, all rescued from our local Humane Society. We love them with all our heart, they are our babies. Our two inside dogs are Dixie which is an weimaraner and Winston which is a toy poodle. Our chinchillas name is Pepsi, she is my sons pet.

Now I'm sure you are wondering why I'm talking about my pets well here is why. Yesterday when my hubby got home from work, he heard a loud rattle sound in our back yard. We was about leave and get something for supper so I told him to check it out when we get home. Well when we got back the noise was even louder. So he went inside and got his gun! We have a huge pen where our dogs sleep at and the noise was coming from the woods right behind them. I was at the table with my son eating an apple when I heard 2 loud shots being fired. So I ran outside and my hubby told me to get another shotgun shell, so I did. When I got back out he said it was a very large rattle snake ! At that moment my sweet babies enter my mind. So I jumped over the fence and was checking them out, when I notice Ginger had been bit!! I grabbed her and jumped back over the fence running inside while my hubby was calling our vet. We rushed her up there. Our vet asked us what he wanted him to do, I told him what ever he had to to keep our baby alive. This whole time my 6 year old is standing crying worried about his little Ginger. So he started an IV and kelp her overnight. My hubby called them this morning and she is still out of it. I am praying that she will pull thru. I know to most people they would say oh shes just a dog, but my dogs are so much more than that to me. If everyone could just keep Ginger in your thoughts it would mean the world to me.

A good night sleep

I had such a good night sleep last night!! My daughter slept threw the night for the first time!! I sure hopes she does that again tonight. I would have slept even longer, but we have 2 inside dogs that sleep in our bedroom. They thought they would start barking at 7:30 this morning. I was so mad at them. So I let them out and of course they woke my daughter. So I put my little angel next to me in the bed and we went back to sleep!!

A bad day

Do you ever have that feeling that it is just going to be a bad day? Well when I woke up at 6:30 with my daughter crying for her a bottle, it hit me that today is going to be a bad day. My husband wants to quit his job that he has been with for almost 7 years. I want him to be happy and I support him, but I'm a little worried that he is going to get mad enough and walk out without having another job to back him up. I felt so sorry for him last night, he just looked so depressed. He is the kind of employee that gives 110% everyday. He doesn't work on the weekends, but you wouldn't know it if you were at my house cause the phone rings non stop for him. Its like that can't operate if he isn't there. I know this has nothing to do with my diet, but I just needed to get that off my chest. Speaking of my diet it's all good!!!

Oh and I go back to work May 14th. I work on second shift so I have to leave my kids at night . I hate that! So I'm a depressed about that now. I wished I didn't have to work!! I just miss that time of day that we eat supper together, I give them baths and tuck them in at night. I hope something good will happen today to get me in a better mood!!!!! Well I'm going to see how all of you are doing now.